Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Friday May 18th 2012

Shaq-fu to pay Bron-Bron a visit

shaquille-oneal-lebron-james--05-nba-all-star-game

Fuck yeah, score one for me. I didn’t have to photoshop the two of them together, which is good for you as I can’t photoshop my way out of a paper bag. It’s true, all this talent, and no photoshop skills.

Anyways, as you’ve most likely heard since this is the internet and nothing stays new for more than 12 seconds, Shaq was traded to the Cavs. Phoenix traded him for $500k,the 46th draft pick, two bags of socks and a washing machine. Well maybe it was Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic, and not the socks/washing machine. Either way, unless Phoenix plans on trading the 46th to the Hornets for 3 future 1st round picks(not impossible), the Cavs seem to have come out ahead.

In the Finals playoffs, the Cavs had no inside presence and their 7″3″ big man Zydrunas Ilgauskas was more likely to be throwing bricks from beyond the three than blocking Dwight Howard and what not. Shaq-fu gives them this inside presence that they clearly needed.

While Shaq is in the golden age(nearing trip to the glue factory) of his career, last year he still managed to play 30 minutes a game and post 17.8ppg with 8.4rpg. While those numbers are anything but superstar, they are much better numbers than Zydrunas Ilgauskas managed to pull off. As a bonus, the Cav’s now have two of the leagues most likeable/approachable stars together on one team. Even though that alone won’t be enough to win the championship, having Shaq there might be enough to scare all the youngins to turn the suck knob down from 11 to a more reasonable number.
While my betting history is not great, my way too early prognosis is to put my money on next year’s Cavs.

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