Everyone’s favorite jean wearing, gun slinging, attention whoring, retired then unretired then retired again quarterback Brett Favre has signed with the Minnesota Vikings. It’s actually not that big of shock if you looked for all the telltale signs. Mainly the one a few weeks ago where Favre said he was going to stay retired. Obvious lie.
We’ve made it through the brunt of the Favre unretirement storm, but we still have the whole rest of the season to look forward to. Where reporters, announcers, and analysts will undoubtedly speculate on a weekly basis about whether this will be Favre’s last season or not. Followed by everyone’s favorite off-season game of “Will he or won’t he.” Where we’ll be subjected to video footage of Favre throwing with the local Mississippi high schools on ESPN’s Favre Watch.
My guess is that Favre was jealous by all the press that Michael Vick’s return had garnered by the media. I mean, come on Vick was on 60 Minutes the other night. That must have eaten away at Favre knowing that someone else was stealing the media spotlight. It must have been at that very moment when Favre decided that he couldn’t just wait until next year to get some media loving. He had to do something decisive before becoming indecisive about his future. The only logical solution was to come back and play football.
That’s what most self-absorbed, attention seeking people do. It’s what they call in the field of psychology as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a pathology, people. He can’t help himself.
Now that the Favre retirement saga has come to a temporary resolution can we get on with the preseason, please. It’s shortly followed by the regular season which means it’s just about time for the start of my incessant gambling, drinking, and constant yelling at the television set that my wife has resistantly grown accustomed to between the months of August and February…Oh yeah and fuck Brett Favre for ruining my off-season.
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