Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday February 9th 2012

Breaking Brett Favre News

I think I just pooped.
I think I just pooped.

Today I bring you some sad and disturbing Brett Favre news. Favre in talks with reporters stated two things today. He stated that he’s not going to let his consecutive games streak influence him this year. You know, I applaud him for that. I really do. This means that he will not try to play through an injury that would make him completely ineffective and hurt his team. He’s going to hold the record for at least a few more years anyways, so this is him coming to terms with the fact that he’s going to be a 40 year old QB in the NFL. Injuries can and will happen, and as a 40 year old you don’t have the ability to fight it off and play at a high enough level to help the team win.

So the other thing that Favre said today, the part that’s disturbing? He said that he is, in fact, a giant bag of douche. Actually, what he said was that he “may not” be able to play in all 16 games. If I’m a Viking fan, I think that I either a)developed a nervous twitch, b)had an aneurysm or c)had my head explode. That guy is a grade A bag of douche. He can go eat a bag of dicks as far as I’m concerned, and the NFC North is dead to me. So you mean to say that even though he skipped all of training camp like he wanted, he’s still leaving himself the out to quit on the team? Are you surprised after what’s happened over the last couple years? I shouldn’t have been, but call me naive and here I am somewhat shocked that he’s already laid the grounds for his out. Just wait for December when it’s looking like the Vikes may not make the playoffs, and our man who just goes out there and plays for the love of the game comes up with a mysterious injury and retires yet again. Where will that fucker decide he wants to play next year.

[Edit:The video got taken down. Rather it got made private so tough luck]
P.S-Where do the kids these days get those hats? Everytime I go to the store the only hat’s I find are the ones that sit properly on your head. I guess I don’t shop at the cool kids store.

P.P.S-Yes, there was a The Wire reference in there.

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Related posts:

  1. Brett Favre Update: He’s Coming Back
  2. Brett Favre to the Vikings. At this point is anyone really that surprised?
  3. The Roast of Brett Favre
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2 Comments for “Breaking Brett Favre News”

  • lowercase says:

    Holy crap that is a shitty video. I don’t care if he is a kid, I don’t want to watch a kid suck at being on video any more than I want to watch Chris Berman do it.

  • gally says:

    He’s like FilmDrunk’s Sexman, but for football. His point was valid though, even though he had some difficulty getting it out.


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