The Morning After Pill is The Gally Blog’s daily recap of the sporting world. Some sports and teams are left out due to a lack of me caring.
NFL: It was either a good game with a poor outcome, or shitty game with a great outcome depending on who you cheer for. The Dolphins ran for 241 yards and chewed up 45:07 in game time. That has all the markings of a great win. Except they didn’t. Even though Peyton Manning and the Colts only had the ball for 14:53, they managed to win 27-24. Peyton through for a ridiculous 13 yards per throw, and passed for 2 TD’s while Dallas Clark caught 7 balls for 182 yards and 1 TD. This years Colts look very similar to last year’s Colts in that they can neither run nor stop the run. It’s going to be a long season for any fellow Colts fans.
MLB: Angels pitcher Joe Saunders pitched into the ninth inning, giving up two earned runs on two home runs. Those were the only runs he gave up though, as the Angels defeated the Yankees 5-2. With a win, the Yankees would have clinched a playoff spot, but it was their second failure at this in a row. Pettite only gave up 3 runs, but his reliever and closer also gave up a run, which doesn’t bold well for the Yanks in the playoffs. The Twins whupped the White Sox 7-0 to move 2.5 games behind the Tigers for the AL Central. Whuppity do dog. It’s baseball. Minnesota fans should still slit their wrists.
NBA: Ron Artest is batshit fucking crazy. He also says that Laker fans can completely blame him if they don’t repeat as champions.
Everything else in sports sucked or wasn’t worth caring about, so no news on them today.
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You shut your mouth about Minnesota fans! We’re nothing if not loyal. Don’t you forget ’87 and ’91!!! Besides, if I slit my wrists, who’s going to remember to link your posts for you? NO ONE. Then you may as well slit your wrists ‘cuz you will have nothing left. NOTHING. Go cry yourself to sleep on your huge pillow. And don’t worry about the Yankees. They’ll just buy a playoff spot.
As for Ron Artest, I love him. If anyone wants to go bowling with him this weekend in LA, they can. Follow @Basketball_Ron on twitter. BOWLING. With RON ARTEST. He also apparently trolls the boardwalk at Venice Beach quite a bit with all the other psychos. I’m sure you can find him next to the “gym” or Weed Man. Bless his heart.
I am a little worried about the Yankees. I’m worried that their jet won’t get hit by a meteorite and crash into Fenway. Sorry for the slitting wrists thing. I forgot to put in a disclaimer: slice down the road, not accross the tracks.