Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday February 9th 2012

Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is a recap of yesterdays sporting events. Some sports and teams are left out due to our lack of caring.

Sports? What sports?
Sports? What sports?

College Football

Pretty weak offering of college football last night. Colorado versus West Virginia? Wow awesome. I was so overwhelmed last night by that match-up that I had to drink half a bottle of whiskey just to fall asleep. West Virginia won 35-24.

In other college action that you probably care nothing about, unless you happened to wager on it, was Southern Miss at UAB. UAB was victorious 30-17.

Everyone’s favorite shit starting, sucker punching RB, LeGarrette Blount, may be reinstated. Or at least that’s what a sourceis saying. I totally think the NCAA should let this guy play. Blount has Bengals draft pick written all over him and I’d hate to see him miss out on that opportunity just because he punched some guy in the face. This doesn’t just need to happen. It has to happen. He could be the Starsky to the Bengals Hutch. The Yin to their Yang. Chris Henry could be this guy’s mentor. Talk about a Bro-mance.

Baseball

Hmmm baseball. Really? Well I guess I might as well mention it once before the playoffs. Expect me to refrain from uttering another word about baseball until either the Yankees, Red Sox, or Phillies get knocked out of the playoffs.

Detroit failed to lock down the AL Central yesterday as they lost to the Twins 8-3. The Tigers magic number is 2 and I could really care less. Best case scenario involves the Twins looking like they’ll clinch the Central, only to lose it at the very end. Bertstreet would be so pissed and I would be thoroughly amused.

Hockey

The 2009 NHL season kicked off. Yeah that’s all I got. If you’re so inclined to know the results of last night’s hockey match-ups check out Melt Your Face Off.

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  3. The Morning After Pill: Wakin' Up Sexy with gimp Edition

2 Comments for “Morning After Pill”

  • lowercase says:

    Why yes, I did wager on the UAB/USM game, hit a nice two game parlay to push my centsports account over 2 bucks. And the Rockies clinched the NL wild card, those same Rockies that crushed the Phillies in the playoffs a couple years ago.

  • gimp says:

    I hit on the WVU and Colorado game. Thank god for that last second TD by Colorado. Sure it was meaningless, but it won me my wager.


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