Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday February 9th 2012

Carolina vs. Miami Preview

Okay folks, it’s Thursday Night Football in the NFL again. I had planned on having a preview for all this weeks games up today but I’ve been dealing with flaky Internet for the last couple hours, so instead you get todays game today and the rest of the games tomorrow. Tonights game features the Miami Dolphins on the road against the suddenly alive Carolina Panthers. According to Cent Sports, The Panthers are favored by three points tonight. Does that make sense to you? Well, it should.

Nearly the entirety of the Dolphins offense is based on Ronnie Brown and the Wildcat formation.

Pro Bowl Wildcat
Pro Bowl Wildcat


Well, there’s a problem with that. Last time we saw Ronnie, he looked like this:
via ESPN
Ronnie Brown is out for the year with an ankle injury.

Some people are thinking that Ricky Williams will take off now that he is the lone back, but I disagree. He now has to carry the ground game and was never the guy to run the Wildcat offense. This puts extra pressure on him and Chad Henne. The Panthers D has also been playing fairly decent as of late and of course caused Kurt Warner to throw 5 INT’s.

Carolina has the two headed rushing attack with DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Those two are monsters and last year got stronger as the season went on. I see no reason for them to not tear up the Miami D. Delhomme has also settled down a little bit and has not been throwing picks at his early season pace. Add in the fact that the Real Steve Smith, fuck that New York guy, has been catching TD’s and this game should get Carolina back to .500.

I like Carolina to both win outright and cover the spread. Carolina 31-Miami 17

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  1. The Miami Dolphins' suck train just got bigger.
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  3. MNF Preview: The Jets and the Dolphins
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2 Comments for “Carolina vs. Miami Preview”

  • Logic says:

    I don’t think there was one thing right in this whole post. I award you no points. And may God have mercy on your soul.

    /bitteraboutFakeSteveSmith :(

    • gally says:

      I did get a couple things kind of right. They didn’t really run the Wildcat, and instead put the ball in Henne and R Williams hands. The Carolina defense forgot to show up though.

      The real Steve Smith indeed caught a TD, and though the Carolina coaching staff abandoned the run game, the Stewart/Williams RB combo ran for 166 yards on only 25 carries. Somehow this 6.64 yards a carry wasn’t good enough though, and the team went with the QB who threw for 5.3 yards per attempt.


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