Last Call
What? Like you've never done this before
Last Call is kind of like Blogkakke, on crystal meth and LSD. Instead of just posting random links, its a place for you to come and hang out with fellow minded sports fans, alchoholics and amateur comedians. Stop by and tell us a joke, bitch about your local sports team or just spout off about that time you went to Tijuana and starred in the pony show
Musical Warmup:
Linkage:
Hand Turkey: A video for you Americans on your turkey week.
Daddys Sugar Ball: Entertainment news brought to you the DSB way, which means with extra Pennsylvanian snark.
Sports Journalism: Belichick’s critics are coming under harsh fire, from their colleagues.
Smart Football: Nick Saban talks about preparing for ALL possible circumstances.
4th and Fail: What the new LA stadium means for the Jaguars.
Dr. Saturday: Urban Meyer expresses something called emotions? What the fuck are those?
Purple Jesus Diaries: I really dislike the Vikings. Not hate, but a very large dislike. Having said that, I like PJD’s writing so I present his wrapup of the Vikings game.
SB Nation: Spencer Hall presents this weeks alphabetical. A weekly breakdown of college football with something for every letter of the alphabet.
Sportress of Blogitude: Some silly Los Angeles residents are putting in requests for tickets to the NFL team that they don’t even have. And by some, I mean well over 100,000. And by silly, I mean paint huffing.
The Sporting Blog: Tim Tebow, future coach, and the 5 best players turned college coaches.
For the Lads:
For the Ladies:
For Alianthus Altissima:
For Mr. Red Devil:
Bonus Song:
02 Track 2 This song is by some 17 year old kids I work with. Let me know you’re thoughts on it, and I have others for the coming weeks.
Popularity: 40% [?]
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Who do I have to blow to get a drink around here?
You just have to run over to the beer fridge and grab yourself something. Let’s see, we got Milk, Orange Juice, Purple Drank and beer…
I’ll give you a hint. He has 2 thumbs.
haha
Welcome to our inagural Last Call as a full time member of the Last Call community. I know we’re competing against the KSK Monday Night Football Live Blog, but I can throw one of those up for you guys as well. After all, I can with almost 100% accuracy guarantee that your comments will make it up on our live blog, not like theirs.
And if enough people participate Gally will post some sexy self shot pictures.
Oh, did I forget to mention that? Who want’s a mustache ride?
Things I didn’t want to see today:
1. A bum’s pecker.
2. Topless fat dude running who’s name I can’t remember.
You can’t see his pecker unless you’ve got some super eyes. And the fat guy is Andre Smith, for AA, who’s requested him before. I’ll put up another girl for you then.
That’s dude’s tits are still bigger
Than who? Keeley Hazell in the Man U kit or the 18 year old DD?
I wonder if they’re real…
I’m pretty sure all the boobs in this post are real. Maybe Andre has a side gig as a tranny, and did get some work done though.
Mine are real
Looks like I’m getting drunk by myself tonight…. having said that, Yay!
Look at this band of miscreants. My GOD, Last Call has gone to the dogs.
Be nice! I gave you a shout out in my morning post, and this is the thanks I get?
So everyone’s sarcasm detectors are broken today. Duly noted.
Ber, an internet hug and a sincere apology if I offended.
Well, don’t be sexist when giving out free hugs. I give reacharounds. Ber is a prude.
Very true. I am a prude.
It’s okay, we still love you.
Yeah what Ber said. We may not shower every day, and we may drink too much but miscreants that does not make.
http://www.iwearyourshirt.com/
Gay or Genius?
p.s. should this guy wear a Logic: “I don’t have an attitude problem, I have a personality you can’t handle. Punk” T-Shirt.
Hey, my avatar! I didn’t do anything, btw. It must have been you guys, fucking with me.
It’s kind of lame, but alas he’s going to become an Internet millionaire out of it.
As for your avatar, I had nothing to do with that. Must have just been some glitch in the system.
Hm. Glitch in the Matrix, huh?
Guy made $84,000 last year. That’s about $64,000 more than I did.
yeah, when you figure in the conversion rate he made ________ more than me. I’d share that info, but then I’d have to chase these beers with draino.
pics or it didn’t happen
Of course, she is quite adapt at photoshop, so we might never know.
So, who are the tasty looking whores up above? I recognize Paul Newman and Andre Smith, sadly.
Good evening folks. It’s Doctor Who’s birthday today.
http://www.wired.com/thisdayintech/2009/11/1123dr-who-debuts
The lovely lass in white is a Natural Playboy model, Tess Taylor Arrington. The lady in the Man U kit is of course the lovely and also natural Keeley Hazell.
NEIL PERT IS THE BEST F*CKING DRUMMER!
/snortsrail
//familyguyjoke
Can we get some effing Kings of Leon up in this beeeeotch? Where’s the jukebox?
you can embed youtube videos in the comments, have away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL2Nlpsw0qQ
Saints-Patriots next Monday night? Nice night to be here, apparently. We’ll have to publicize the crap out of it.
Yeah that should be another great game. As I asked above, should I be incorporating a live blog into Last Call while the NFL season is on? I could start one up for tonight.
People might get confused with a post AND a live blog. Here’s what I would say. If you want/prefer a liveblog for Monday Night Football, go for it next week and we’ll publicize that.
Whattaya think?
We’ll see how tonight goes. If it remains the 6 of us, then maybe it’ll be time for a live blog next week.
Well, the other thing is, it’s YOUR night, so do as your please. If you want to start a live blog, go for it. I want everybody to be happy during Thanksgiving week.
Me too
Stills from the next Twilight Movie…
Admit it, you’ll see it now.
http://chud.com/articles/content_images/0NICK2/great.jpg
Only if he eviscerates both of them.
How do I politely tell my family that I’d rather sleep in, watch the Packers and the rest of the NFL, and eat a frozen pizza for dinner on Thanksgiving rather than drive a total of 5 hours roundtrip and visit a houseful of people I don’t really know that well?
Cuz, the “I’m not coming home because I have to work on Friday morning” isn’t working.
That’s nearly unpossible, unless you’re pulling one of your 3am start times or whatever.
Ask them if it’s ok to bring a “special friend”. Maybe you get asked not to come.
I live in Madison… I don’t need that story going round.
//not that there’s anything wrong with that.
plus if you’re not that way, you’d never want your parents to possibly think that you were.
Hmm, Suzy Kolber just said that VY called McNair and said what do I do, I want to play. A column I read today, I think MMQB said that he texted Kobe, his mentor, and asked him that. Which is it, or is he whoring around mentors.
Did he use a medium to contact McNair?
Haha, I think it was meant to be last year…
I like to imagine VY calling McNair’s cell phone and getting really upset that he’s ignoring his calls.
That’s entirely plausible
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHzDSmav0NM
That’s what I’m talking about
And theres some KOL for you logic
That’s a big 10-4
I need Chris Johnson to drop negative 21.5 points today to win my fantasy matchup. Anyone think less than 20 yeards, no TDs and 11 fumbles is too much to ask for?
Well since you actually figured out the stats he would need for -21.5 points…I’m rooting for you. Cheers.
Dare to dream man, dare to fucking dream.
Cheesey?
I’m watching CM Punk on Monday Night Raw. Best heel the the WWE has going right now. And as an added bonus we get Jessie Ventura hosting.
They’ve really been going all out with the host’s this year.
So, I sure would love to fuck that Dakota Fanning…
Good God, is that the Pedo Bear’s music!?
This coming from a kid who used to live in a fraternity house that had a sign saying “21 to drink. 14 to sleep over.” Age of Consent in DC used to bt 14.
Best part about 14 year olds…When their hair is wet… They look 12.
Haha, I believe it’s still 14 up here in Alberta as long as you’re not an authority figure, ie. teacher, cop, fireman, priest etc. Then 16 if you are….
And if you don’t believe I just mapquested Alberta…Nah, I’m just kidding…Or am I?
In grade 12 we had a 19 year old guy who was dating a 14 year old grade 8er. We used to harass him about it all the time, then he found the law to prove it was legal. It may now be that the 14 year old has to sleep with an 18 or under, but 16 is still free game….not that I’ve been there in a few years.
Ha. I’d knock the packing peanuts off a shit ton of pussy in Alberta.
LOL, I think we have a winner!
Well come for a visit. I’ve got a big couch.
Can someone else try embedding a video so I can see if it’s just Logic having the problem or with everyone who’s not me.
God Damned inner monologue key board..
It really is rare that a sports blog makes me actually laugh out loud.
Glad we could help out in that regards.
I have a feeling you have an inner monologue mouth in general :P
I can get in your monologue with this mouth, baby.
Shit. Fuck. Dammit. There it goes again.
Real question: How big’s your van?
I’m going with an olive green VW van from like 1974!
As long as there are no windows and a shag carpet. I’m in like Flynn dude.
Forget vans, the real money is in ice cream trucks.
It may not have the way with the ladies, but I’d rather have a traveling burrito truck.
It’s broken down, and it’s down by the river but yeah, it’s there. It’s got a disco ball and everything. There’s a bong built into the whole body of the van and there’s built in handcuffs as well
Its like heaven on 4 wheels.
It’s like heaven on two knees and her forearms.
/receives high fives from frat brothers
//Logic used that joke many moons ago
I appreciate the credit.
/bowtiespin
Silly Rob with his un-moderated comments at the KSK live blog. Doesn’t he realize his comments are unmoderated here also. Plus, we’re like the fat girl at the bar, we try hard.
i don’t try hard. i’m eating “ice cream”.
Pretty girls with big boobs never try hard. They don’t have to.
Except when peeing while standing.
Though I’ve not met many classy ladies like that.
They’re like my Boston Terrier. Terrible aim, usually gets it all over their legs. Immediate tongue bath is required.
ahhh dirtay
Yeah. the KSK live blog got some of my best stuff wasted through the filter. I remember one time they denied a jay cutler sucks joke but let in a black gay jew joke in the next breath. it’s like night and day with the relevancy. the guys who get the unmoderated status usually ruin it with the suck-fest they bestow upon the authors. Basically color me jealous.
NO ONE SUCKS ME OFF AROUND HERE!
I used to think our “connections” there would help out. I mean three of them are in our fantasy football league, and the other three respectfully declined, but I guess nepotism isn’t always happening in Blogfrica.
Yeah. Blogfrica is an unforgiving place. It’s like being on Acid or camping in the jungle. You don’t know what’s going to come next and you’re scared. And you could wind up with AIDs.
Ooh Acid Aids. That’s never a fun weekend.
Daaamn!
I will not be moderated!!! Although sometimes I probably should be.
I’ll show you moderation…
Just kidding. As if I know what “moderation” is.
the key to life is excess in moderation.
yeah, girls don’t know anything
You’re allowed to say pretty much everything that would get you banned at Deadspin here. If what you’re saying is not bannable at the spin, that’s where we have the problem.
There’s a commercial for Brown College which is like an “arts” school. They have a radio broadcasting program and all of the ppl in the commercial are attractive. I’m calling shenanigans.
Everything named “Brown” sucks. The school. The Team. The nickname of the packaging company. Brown is a synonym for Shit for a reason.
Charlie Brown is the one. So is Judge Joe Brown.
Eh, Charlie Brown is like the Eeyore of Peanuts. And Judge Joe Brown is like my 3rd or 4th favorite TV Judge.
Judge Joe Brown will mediate your ass!!!!
I will mediate YOUR ass into submission!
I might have to pay to see that.
Think about it. Brown is a richie rich type school. Rich people marry hot trophy wives and then procreate. Generations of that has created a line of rich attractive people. I’m sold and I haven’t even sen the commercial.
It’s not the same Brown, Gal.
So you’re saying that the guy in the top picture might not be a Brown graduate.
@Ber ahh okay my drunken bad.
@dave no, that guy is not a Brown grad. Maybe a Brown first year Engineering dropout.
Alright ladies and germs. My ambien is kicking in. Time for this guy to hit the sack. Good night.
pansy
Good night, bitch face. xoxo!
It appears that gimp is all grown up. He hasn’t commented since like 6:30est. Considering he lives in Florida, I’m going to assume that he’s old and asleep. Or passed out in the ficus.
Maybe he’s just a giant Judge Joe Brown fan?
Haha, maybe we need a “Interview” with Judge Joe Brown.
If your defense relies on Nick Harper, you have a problem. There’s a reason the Colts let him go in free agency so many years ago, and back then the Colts had one of the worst secondary’s in the league.
Aw, don’t think I don’t love you guys (and girls)… trust me, there’s plenty of me to go around.
Haha Rob. Just wondering if you’d gotten all to big for your britches with your guaranteed unmoderated comments over at KSK.
Cripes… I’m over there every Monday. But because it was your first Last Call, I thought I’d be nice and stop by.
Haha, you know I’m joking.
I know. You know. I know you know. You know I know you know. But I know you know I know you know.
mind asplodes
It’s only okay if you buy me presents. S. Plural. Also, I’m not jealous of your unmoderated participation in the KSK live blog. Cuz a) I kinda know they didn’t have one, b) I can’t pay attn that long, and c) a is because of b.
What kind of presents? I’m terrible at the gift giving thing, so usually just do gift cards.
shoooooeeesssssss! a gift cert to net-a-porter would be dopeness.
I would have to know what net-a-porter is.
http://www.net-a-porter.com
Is there “Thanksgiving Music”??? What is appropriate for dinner? I have a feeling my Urbana Mexicana station won’t cut it.
Announcer on Vince Young,”He’s thick and he’s quick.” Is ABC promoting a new line of porn?
he’s long, and he’s strong, and he’s down to get the friction on!
And Chris Berman with the Fastest Three Minutes….
/Boom roasted
Drew Brees has turrible hair.
Fuck You Chris Berman. Anthony Calvillo has thrown for 63,000 yards and 354 TD’s over the last 15 years in the CFL. How the fuck does that make him the Kurt Warner of the CFL?
Maybe he’s senile and thinks Kurt Warner is awesome.
Kurt Warner has had 6 great years. Calvillo has won championships. Not that I watch a lot of CFL, but still. Fuck Berman
So apparently Jimmy Clausen got into a bar fight early Sunday morning……
/somebody go check on Logic.
Did he get his asskicked the first three quarters of the fight, than suddenly throw punches but still come out on the losing end?
Haha, whatever happened, I’m sure he tried sticking his finger in the other guys asshole, just to try it.
Sounds about right. But people will also say that Charlie Weis coached him up well to be ready for a pro bar fighting career.
Damn fawking rights he did. Charlie Weis is er ah champ I’m telling youse. Jimmay Clausen is going to be a fawking stah in de pro fightin leeegs.
I apologize for being rude and/or retarded…MOB who be you? Regardless, I’m glad to see you! Wee-oo wee-ooooo!
Ha, I occasionally write for The Phoenix Pub. Just saw the link over there and followed over and pretended like I’ve been here forever. I guess that’s just my personality.
If we didn’t have random straglers our viewership would be cut in third or so. Thanks for stopping by, we’re always open.
Sweet! I just felt like a jackass if I didn’t know who you were. I’m not always the most observant. Where not always = typically
No! Someone went at Jimmy the Truth Clausen? Oh God. Does any of you know how to create a “hidden blade” like in Assassin’s Creed?
Sorry dude. You said yourself that he’s a giant douchebag, so he probably deserved it.
BTW, Gally, I may be in the minority, but I have a really hard time reading the type on the comments page. It’s too lite given the white background.
I can read! Kinda.
You can kinda read, or read kinda? It’s a whole world of difference.
Hmmn, I’ll look into it. You’re the first that’s mentioned anything about it.
So the bartender asks “Do you want to hear a good joke?” and the cornstalk says “I’m all ears.”
Hey fellow bored people.
haha. I’m such a dork, I totally laughed out loud there.
Bernard Pollard, he’s the guy that hurt Brady right? Fuck that guy is my hero.
Correct. He, Christian Okoye, and Derrick Thomas are my favorite Chiefs ever.
I wanted to buy a Pollard jersey to wear to a Jets-Pats game in NE. My friends talked me out of it. Something about probably getting my ass kicked.
@WSR Chiefs? Are you cheating on Minnesota?
@MOB I had to(not my choice) wear a Mike Modano jersey to the bar the night he scored a hat trick and put the Oilers out of the playoffs. If it weren’t for some random lovely ladies, I would have gotten curb stomped. They ended up kicking me and my friends out of the bar for my protection.
3 people that I like (not counting Joe Montana) in 28 years isn’t really cheating, is it? Bernard Pollard should be a player everybody likes.
I concur, Bernard Pollard for el Presidente of the World.
BIRONAS
I usually save this for my friends I drink with on a regular basis, but your crime has warranted it: Post another video based on a Berman mental fart, and I’ll stab you with a brick.
HAHA. I posted it because he had just kicked the go ahead FG. I had no idea that Berman had said anything about that. We’re pretty Berman free up here in Canada.
Trashy or awesome: I didn’t know where to put my cookie so I set it on my boob.
Stop teasing. You know that’s awesome on so many levels.
There isn’t a degree of awesomeness to describe that.
Awesome to the nth degree where n->infinity?
Chocolate Chip, Oreo, or other?
USDA Certified Organic Swedish Ginger Snap :P
Well then, neither trashy nor awesome. Artsy.
Both
On a side note Chris Johnson did not score negative 21.5 points tonight. Damn you Chris!
I need him to not do anything else. Unless it involves literally breaking a leg. Same with Bironas. :)
Sorry MOB, he could still catch a serious case of fumbleitis.
Hey gang! I made it to Cleveland Ohio (okay, technically Chagrin Falls). Apparently they have a football team here, who knew?
Hey Sculptor! I’m glad you made it okay! How was the drive?
Are you sure you want to admit that? (I kid, I kid. Evening.)
Foobaw?
So two questions. Does anyone see the Tshirt Hell ad anywhere? I’ve embedded the code, and don’t see it but sometimes have issues with my computer.
2.)Thoughts, more than I have a question… Tomorrow I have an interview for a shitty job, but it’s hours and money. In March the job could potentially lead to me being their head chef, but would mean I wouldn’t have time to bartend anymore. I love the place and most of the staff, I just hate the position that I would be applying for until March, and would miss the disposable cash and flexible hours of bartending.
Yay, my first comment to get published on KSK today. I think I’m going to stop trying and/or caring.
Is it wrong that I’m more excited about the Arizona/Wisconsin game that’s on later tonight than I am about this MNF game?
It’s official, it’s college basketball season and I’m hooked, yet again.
Nope. I can’t wait for Butler/Minnesota on Thursday. I’m more excited about that than I am about the Vikings game Sunday against the Bears.
Maybe you’re just a CBB fan, or just have no reason to cheer for these teams. It’s fine, though I’d never have the same dilemma.
I think I’m just in the groove for CBB after having watched New Mexico curbstomp three teams this weekend in the Basketball Travelers Tournament (read: we paid three teams to come here and presumably get their hats handed to ‘em)… that and the Maui Invitational is always a fun event.
Or maybe it was the 24 hours of college basketball promotion from last week – that was pretty sweet for a mid-major honk like me.
Yeah that 24 hour thing is pretty damn cool. My random Arizona CFB homerism has of course transferred to CBB so maybe I should try and watch that game. How is that game on so late? It’s 9:30 Arizona time and 10:30 Wisconsin time right?
It’s in Maui as part of the Maui Invitational, so it’s a 7:00 pm tip in Hawaii.
That’s weird, but I may just stay up and watch it.
I’m angry that I’m going to miss it. NOT HAPPY>
I’m proud to say that I watched about 20 hours of that 24 hour tipoff…And it was amazing…The A-10 counts as a mid major, right?
If you’re counting from themidmajority.com, yes. Although Xavier is close to becoming another Memphis/Gonzaga type which isn’t included in the mid-majority.
I should correct myself – I was referring to midmajority.com. A kickass basketball blog that deserves every hit it receives.
Random thought, those KFC chicken bowls look like something that would seem like a great idea when stoned or hammered. The next day, your guts would feel equivalent to banging that girl(that you hooked up with drunk) with no rubber and realizing that you didn’t pull out in time.
/Never had a KFC Chicken Bowl
//still a virgin
///wait what?
a) the kfc chicken bowls are much better than unprotected sex. Trust me as someone who has had both more times than he is proud to admit.
b) I too, am more excited for college basketball. GW Colonials are 3-0!!!
There there. There there.
/backs away slowly
VY must have talked to McNair today. He ran on that play like he was running from a crazy mistress…Too soon?
Not at all too soon. This halloween costume might be too soon. There were powder burns on the jersey, and he almost got into a fight over it the night he wore it
I can’t believe these announcers are still so flabbergasted by Belichick going for it last week, that they think that Fisher potentially going for it on fourth down is insane.
What a kick?!! Could we get some more My Bironas
Alright, but WSR’s ass whuppin goes to you.
Drive was long, and I’m already jonesing for home. At least I have legitimate work to do, which gives me a built in excuse for grabbing the laptop and holing up in a corner. Woo.
Anyhow, at least I got the wireless working here, so that also means I can goof off a few minutes here and there with you lot.
But it’s been a long day of crazy, so I’m outta here for the night. I’ll catch up with you lot tomorrow.
Mwah!
Holy shit, I just got a tie in FFB! Thank you, Kris Brown, for missing.
That’s my 4th tie of the year in my 3 leagues. Something’s very wrong.
Yeah, I didn’t know you could get a tie in fantasy football. What happens if it happens in the playoffs or something? That’s something they should look at fixing.
Once we’re in the playoffs, we have tiebreakers (RB yards in one league, kicker points in another, and point utilization in the 3rd) to avoid that.
My Donovan McNabb impression needs some work. Maybe if I rolled around on the ground clutching any available body part?
don’t forget the vomiting that was once thought of as nerves, and is now thought of as hangover
Game over…time for some FIFA!
I haven’t bought it yet as my PS3 disc drive ain’t working but I’m loving the demo.
GUESS WHO’S GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS1!!!ONE!!!!11!!!
The Vikings?
NO! Uncle Rico & the Paper Champions!!! My FF team!!
Congratulations. Kibbles N’ Vicks slid into 3rd with the tie in the only league I care about, despite having the most points by about 60.
You in fantasy football?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I am the rookie AND the only girl!
Girls playing fantasy football! What’s next, the presidency?!
If it makes you feel better, my friend Andrew tells me I’m not a real girl b/c I have a mouth like a sailor and I wipe my hands on my pants.
And you drink like a sailor, love sports and want nothing to do with kids. I’m pretty sure most of us would give you an honorary guy card.
And jobs? Or golfing?
Congrats I guess Ber! I suppose you picking up Ricky Williams so many weeks ago may have indeed helped you in the long run.
That may have been the sexiest thing I’ve heard all night. Although in my defense I’ve been watching wrestling and football by myself all night.
So have most of us. So have most of us.
The Pats, Bengals, Chargers, Colts, Steeler and Broncos? Cause I know you can’t posibly mean the Titans.
I would have thrown the Jets in there but than I’d be the delusional one.
Shit. If I go to bed now, I’ll be asleep before tipoff.
Oh well, catch you folks tomorrow.
see ya Rob
Ha, Conan is pretending to talk about the MLS Cup…fun stuff.
Okay it’s time for me to take my sweet little ass to bed. Good night, kiddies! Thanks for stopping by :)
goodnight lover from another mother
g’nite…I’m probly heading downstairs to the casino soon myself
downstairs to the Casino?
I’m at the Trop right now…Just taking a break from all the gamblind and what not to watch wrestling and MNF
Well good luck with blackjack
Arizona’s gotta wake up – down 9-0 already, geez.
damn it. damn it all to hell
Oh hai guys. We still chattin??! Thanks for the link again. Sorry you dislike the Vikings. I often times dislike them as well. Really weird love/hate thing, like with Megan Fox, that dumb sexy bitch.