Logic: Hello and welcome to our UFC 105 preview. I’m not going to lie, I think Gimp and I metaphorically blew our loads with the UFC 104 post because of our special guest and hopefully future bromance partner Vince from FilmDrunk killed it. I think he might have picked more winners than me (on top of being funnier). Thank God I still have the good looks. Well, I think UFC 105 is also a step down from the last MMA fight I saw, the Strikeforce event. Well, that event had Fedor and I’m pretty sure I’d huff Fedor’s farts given the opportunity. This card isn’t too bad because it does feature one man: Randy effing Couture. And if you don’t like Randy, you and I might not work out.
gimp: Hey look UFC is putting on another PPV…And would you look at that, it’s free. Then again, looking at the card thank god it’s free because I wouldn’t pay to watch it either. The quality of fights, outside of the Swick-Hardy, Couture-Vera (only because Couture is fighting) fights is not commonly on par for a PPV. Ultimate Fight Night definitely. PPV, eh not so much. The silver lining of course is 1) it’s free, and 2) it gives the UFC a chance to showcase some of the younger talent that you might not be familiar with. With that said, let’s get this show on the road.
All betting lines appear courtesy of BETUS.
Ross Pearson (+150) v. Aaron Riley (-180)
Logic: Basically a no-name match in my book. I couldn’t care less about these two guys. Aaron Riley is the only one with true UFC experience. I don’t count MMA experience because truly, UFC is the biggest test. Look at Cro-Cop and Wanderlei. They couldn’t hack it. This is why I’m waiting for Fedor to come here and face Brock or Randy and show me something that I can slip my dick into. Like a fleshlight sexy woman. Anyway back to this match. Riley fought Lawler and lost. So I’m going against him.
Logic’s Pick: Ross Pearson via TKO in the 2nd
gimp: Pearson is coming off of his win of the lightweights on the 9th season of the Ultimate Fighter. Which looks great on paper, however, I was none too impressed with the other lightweights. In fact, while watching the finale, I distinctly recall being drunk and noting that while Pearson won the Ultimate Fighter I do not see him hacking it in the UFC. So it only makes sense to follow my drunk intuition. Because, honestly, when has that ever failed me? Besides that one time I hooked up with a fat chick.
gimp’s Pick: Riley via decision.
James Wilks (+140) v. Matt Brown (-170)
Logic: This is another match that I don’t care about. Who are these guys? Neither a falling star or an up-and-comer? Get these guys out of here. From what I am researching Wilks and Pearson were on the Ultimate Fighter. I couldn’t even tell you what season. That show was piss poor with what they did with Kimbo. They knew he would lose and then made this the first season where the losers hang around for the entire show so people would keep tuning in. Go eff yourself, Dana White. I waited 3 more episodes for Kimbo to return. Big CoUNTry was boring and fat.
Logic’s Pick: James Wilks because he’ll put Matt Brown’s “Immortal” name to the test. THIS IS LOGIC!!!!!!
gimp: Oh look James Wilks versus Matt Brown. Holy crap a huge bottle of whiskey. gulp gulp gulp
gimp’s Pick: Wilks via submission in the 2nd round.
Michael Bisping (-105) v Dennis Kang (-125)
Finally a match that I would like to see. Bisping is a good fighter. I don’t know much about Kang. Bisping has a big mouth as well so it’s funny when people shut it. Oh what’s that Hendo?
Yeah that was awesome. But I think Kang is something that is being fed to Bisping to get him back on top and you really can’t keep a good fighter down for long. Unless you use chloroform. That shit will work on anyone!
Logic’s Pick: Bisping via TKO in the first
gimp: Kang was a beast back in the days of Pride. However, he hasn’t fared so well since coming to the UFC. As he’s lost to the Johnny Cash tattooed Alan Belcher and won against Xavier Foupa-Pokamp, who was bounced from the octagon after going 0-2. Sure Bisping is a loud mouth, and seeing him get KTFO by Henderson rivaled the ecstasy of an orgasm, but the man can fight. Granted he can talk more if not better.
gimp’s Pick: Bisping via 2nd round TKO. Kang goes on notice (ie he better not lose his next fight or he’ll get fired) and Bisping celebrates by eating fish and chips and banging a chick with bad teeth.
Mike Swick (-280) v Dan Hardy (+210)
Logic: God. It’s not that I don’t know these two guys. It’s just that I fucking hate them. Mike “Quick” Swick? C’mon. He also hasn’t fought anyone that good. He’s only really fought Leban and Leban KTFO’d him. This is Hardy’s 4th fight since last October and that could take a toll on him. 2 of those fights went to a decision. All in all, Hardy isn’t a good fighter and reminds me of the name Ed Hardy. He also has a stupid mohawk. Hoo boy, that’s gay.
Logic’s Pick: Mike Swick via decision.
gimp: Winner of this fight gets a crack at GSP. Which is like saying the winner gets a free lobotomy. Win, lose, or draw Swick can’t hold a candle to GSP. Ha get it? Candle pun! High fives self. Same goes for Hardy. Granted Hardy no doubt would win a contest for most ridiculous haircut, but that doesn’t help when you’re getting your face kicked in.
gimp’s Pick: Hardy via decision.
Brandon Vera (-110) v. Randy Couture (-120)
And the main event. Randy Couture versus Brandon Vera. Something I am actually excited to watch. And after watching that undercard, I’m going to be good and soused. Randy is an awesome fighter. That’s undeniable. Hell, he has sperm that could kick my ass. Seriously. He has beaten world class fighters and hall of famers. That being said, he is old enough to be my dad. Seriously. I’m 23 and he’s 46. What I want to know is, how does Brett Favre look like he could be Randy’s dad? What’s Randy’s secret? But seriously, you got to wonder if his age is going to catch up to him. He lost to Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Brock Lesnar in his last two fights. Both aren’t chumps. Nogueira is 1 of 2 people to ever survive a Fedor beating and Brock is…well…he’s fucking Brock Lesnar. So I don’t know if you can really blame Randy for losing. Any human would.
That being said, Vera took that Ivan Drago looking mother fucker Krzysztof Soszynski to a decision in which he won and earned him a match with The Natural. Vera’s last loss came to the Lean Green Dean of Mean Keith Jardine and his Keen Machine that makes Screen Beans. God, I hate that bearded toolbag. Anyway, it seems like Vera loses to that top tier fighter like Jardine and Tim Sylvia. Then I saw he lost to Werdum and that guy blows. His best win is obviously over Frank Mir. So this guy seems like he can fight and hold his own, or get beat up. But he’s always in it. 2 of his 3 losses were decisions. It makes it a tough match to call.
Logic’s Pick: Randy Couture via rear naked choke.
gimp: Oh Brandon Vera. After your last impressive victory how could the UFC not put you into a main event fight makes wanking motion. Not quite sure what the rationale of this fight was. It’s either geared toward getting Couture back on a winning track after signing a new 6 fight deal or it’s set toward establishing the younger fighter in Brandon Vera. Regardless, if the fight can stay standing I would give the edge to Vera. However, Couture is a crafty veteran and I don’t expect him to stay standing the whole match. Look for Couture to bring it to the ground and pound out a win.
gimp’s Pick: Couture by 2nd round TKO due to strikes. Either that or it’ll be Couture by decision.
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