Last Call is kind of like Blogkakke, only it’s on LSD, PCP and ludes man. Fucking ludes. Instead of just posting random links, its a place for you to come and hang out with fellow minded sports fans, alchoholics and amateur comedians. Stop by and tell us a joke, bitch about your local sports team or just spout off about that time when it was cold enough that Propane was a liquid.
In mildly relevant news, I got a new job and start today. It’s not the greatest job, but it’s better than that shittastic job I had to take after I lost my great job in the economic downturn. Now that I have a more structured schedule, the site should return to it’s regular level of posting. Normally I’ll always be here for Last Call, but I shant be here tonight. It’ll be Gimp manning the taps and keeping guard on his ficus. That’s his ficus dammit.
Musical Interlude:
Linkage:
Seattle Times: Twitter is changing the face of the baseball winter meetings.
SF Gate: Though Gerhart didn’t win the Heisman, he’s a better man than me in all possible ways. He just did a 21 credit workload at STANFORD. That’s 7 classes to your or my 4-5.
KSK: Punter takes over for Drew in this weeks Peter King takedown.
Film Drunk: Get to dis chopppaaaahhh! A motorcycle themed on the Predator? A motercycle themed on the Predator.
Deadspin: OMGZ. Another Tiger Woods mistress. Big news hey? Not really, but this ones pretty attractive. Really.
The Sporting Blog: Stafon Johnson, yeah that one, will not be looking for a medical exemption and will instead be turning pro.
EDSBS: Poorly interpreted events from the opening act of 2009.
SB Nation: The Heisman does not discriminate, though some of its voters are lazy and/or stupid.
The Phoenix Pub: James Brown presents a college paper he wrote: The multiple intelligences of modern professional athletes.
Melt Your Face Off: Weekend at Bettmans, Bernies mansion edition. Also, they have a new look that they’d like you to vote on.
For the Lads:
For the Ladies:
A Canadian for Rob:
This full size version is pretty big (Takes 2 clicks).
Bonus Song:
Popularity: 35% [?]
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So, how bout those Blue Jays, Phillies and Mariners eh? Fuck them. Fuck them all to hell. In other news,
Dear Blue Jays,
I think its time we went our separate ways. It’s not you, it’s me. Well it might in fact be you. You’ll notice that I’ve changed the locks and my phone number. You can come by and pick up your stuff tomorrow at 6. If that time doesn’t work for you, I’ll just give all your stuff to J.P. You can get it from him.
I wish you the best, but there’s no place in my heart for you anymore.
xoxo -Gally
xoxo-Gally FTW!
haha. It had to be done.
The key is, did they have Doogie on Sesame Street doing that dance before or after he came out of the closet?
Actually, perhaps that’s when everyone figured it out. Perhaps that served as his coming out partay! Woot-woot!!!
I’m going to go ahead and say, it’s NPH, it doesn’ matter. NPH is that gay guy that ALL straight guys approve of.
NPH will always be a combination of Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother and NPH from the Harold and Kumar movies.
I concur. No matter what he does with a dick, it won’t change that image of him in most peoples eyes.
Big news. Tomorrow, I will be in EST. I won’t have to get up at 9 AM for basketball!
haha, congrats.
Well, aren’t you fancy? But it’s good you’re back on this side of the Mississippi.
Long time no see JB
Most definitely. I’ve been backlogged for a while, but I’m getting back to being social. How’s tricks?
Keep on keepin on I guess.
I am fancy, thank you for noticing :P
But yes, it’ll be good to be back on the right side of the Mississippi. Good to hear you’re back from the academic-dead.
Bad day for NY sports…
I disapprove of any Canadian woman who’s not Alanis.
Important question: Pizza or Chinese?
That is a conundrum of epic proportions. I would say Chinese, though.
Oh definitely Chinese. I could go for some pot stickers right now.
Dutch and Japanese combo platter born in Ontario.
I don’t usually read the Peter King thing on KSK, but since Drew didn’t write it, I thought I would. King’s a highly respected NFL writer, but he’s determining pressuring the QB by sacks. Also, I disagree with him about the undefeated season. Look what asshats the ’72 Dolphins are because they played a 14 game season and went undefeated. I’m sure that if seasons were still only 14 games there would have been another undefeated team by now (such as the Colts, but they always mail in their last 2 games – but that wouldn’t be as likely to happen in a shorter schedule since there isn’t as much time for the good teams to establish a cushion). Also, if you were on the undefeated team, you’re kinda immortal in football lore, where nobody cares that the Bucs or the Ravens won the SB a handful of years ago.
Taylor Swift turned 20 yesterday… Gonna crank up the Fearless in her honor.
//not really.
///should get credit for knowing her album title though
should you?
Nothing wrong with a little Taylor Swift.
So, I’m on the Dean’s List for this semester. I think my head’s going to explode from all of this studying, though.
It’s been quite a happy week or so for you.
Yeah, but I get to do a major interview for a company this week.
I attended a mock interview session last week. Since I’ve never done a real interview before, I volunteered. I completely bombed the question in-front of the 40 or so people watching, but it was good to realize that I really need to jot down key words from the question and do a quick outline of my response for when I do a real interview. I also am visibly (though not so much mentally) uncomfortable when I’m in social situations such as presentations so that doens’t help me either.
I’m not a real person by any means – I’ve only worked agricultural work and been in school, so all this potential interview stuff sort of scares the bejezus out of me. Best I can do is just do the ground work
Yeah, the company did send me a talking points email, which is three shades of awesome.
I, of-course, hope that yours goes well.
Just found out the girl I had a crush on from all throughout my college days, dated a gay porn star named Brec Boyd but not me. FML
You ain’t kidding, dear. You do end up twenty shades of completely dead.
Fuck your ficus, nigga.
Hey gang! I’m eating french toast and sausage for dinner, and Santa just drove through the neighborhood riding on the back of a 1943(ish) ford firetruck. w00t!
Good ta see you all!
Things aren’t that bright in Toronto either – they Jays couldn’t even dump Wells to the NL with Doc.
yeah but that falls right on ownership or management or whoever. firing your GM because he didn’t move your most exciting/best player doesn’t really put the new guy in a good position.
If Halladay becomes the best pitcher ever, this guy will forever be known as the guy who moved him for next to nothing.
I am Tiger Woods.
I doubt that, sir. If you were, you would’ve picked many better looking women and at least had one romp a piece with Kristen Bell and Christina Hendricks.
AND been smart enough to stay single whilst enjoying all those wimminz
Point taken.
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK this sucks. Bye, bye Doc.
What will it be? 10 seasons until the Jays have a realistic chance of winning the division? How long will it take Boston & NYY to sign all of Tampa’s best players & the Jays have a miracle season that allows them to defeat a team with twice the payroll? Ever?
Worst division in sports? Worst division in sports.
Fuck the Yankees and Fuck the Red Sox. Hard.
oh yeah, and Baltimore’s too. Can’t forget that they’ll move north before long.
What did they get for giving up their franchise/Cy Young pitcher?
I might be out of it, but we just found this on you tube. Bill Shatner is a GOD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgiqSNNuhQg
I can probably trump that with my mp3 of Leonard Nimoy SINGING about the Hobbit.
*shudder* I’ve heard that whole album. As well as Bill’s FIRST album. Eep.
Christmas humor!
Q: What’s the difference between Tiger and Santa?!!
A: Santa stops at three ho’s.
I heard this one on French CBC (but they said it in English) – what’s the difference between Tiger’s SUV and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf-ball (this was the morning after the news first broke).
Also, I think that I might be hard on myself. It isn’t like my team signed Hafner to a huge deal then completely blew up the team after one failed playoff run and one season later – yet I think it could have been possible to take the money from not-Hafner and put that into CC. Result = best 1-2 pitching punch, Sizemore, average difficulty division, perhaps stumble onto some good relievers, and anything can happen in October.
Man, it sucks to be Cleveland, but while the Jays have finished 2nd a couple times under JP, at least Cleveland’s division is always more winnable.
That Hafner deal killed Cleveland even more than Wells’s did Toronto, but Toronto’s going the way of Cleveland.
Wait, what’s this about Hafner? I told you, I’ve been out of it…
Nothing other than that he got that huge contract when he was having a shitty season and the Indians are paying money to him that they could spend more productively ANYWHERE else – such as in retaining CC. That’s in the past now, but my casual association with what goes on in Cleveland makes me suspect that resigning him a couple years ago was a payroll mistake that started a chain of events leading to the departures of CC & Lee.
What up fucktards?
Hopefully not Tiger’s cock. I don’t want to imagine that grabass trying to break Wilt Chamberlain’s record.
Yeah, Wilt is unimpressed. What kind of pussy juggles only 12 women at a time?
I know, Wilt did that stuff in one night. At the same time.
Did everyone leave and not tell me?
They just went to go refill their drinks…
Aha. That explains the line for the loo, too.
BIG HIT!
my shorts got ripped off in football :( I had to play in my underwear
/weddingcrasherirony.
Exciting news, after about 5 years of not playing pick-up football of any sort, let alone football on snow and ice, some of my old high-school friends and I are organizing a game over the holidays. It’ll be interesting to find out how much tolerance my body has for it.
We play flag, hence the grabbing.
I can’t risk a broken limb. I’d get fired from my manual labor job.
I’m going to do a quick impression of the teachers at my school:
Hi, we’re generally cooperative, intelligent, and attractive people. It’s the week before holiday break. Let’s refer half our students for problem solving meetings all at the same time.
You poor bastard. Outside of empathy, is there anything we can do to help? An express delivery of strychnine perhaps?
Ugh, I think we are going to Atlantic City this weekend. I can’t control myself in that place.
Uh, WHY are you going there? Well, I guess it sorta depends on where you’re going and why. THEN I can mock you.
I’ll be staying at the tropicana. And I’m going for my friend’s 21st birthday. He’s the young guy of our group. I’ll be drinking Captain and Ginger Ales (my casino drink) and playing Texas Hold ‘Em Bonus all night long while he goes clubbing or some gay shit.
Damn. I can’t mock you, you’re going to be stuck at the Trop. I think that earned some pity, if anything.
I think Gally was saying I can put it on “The Gally Blog” expense account. He’s at work so I can’t be definite and ask him, so I guess that means a yes?
Is it me, or is EVERYONE bad this year?
Seems to be, man.
Right now I think Indy, SD, Minn and NO are the only ones in the league playing consistent good football
with Philly and GB on the brink of cracking the top 4
And Dallas is about to crash early. The Titans might actually be in this one, still…
Dallas is in tough, but I stand my my comments last night that I think they’ll win this next week.
I think Dallas is done. My Giants have a much easier road than them.
http://tv.gawker.com/5425882/drunk-woman-steals-an-ambulance-gives-worlds-best-sound-bite
(via 289)
Hahaha!
I wish these posts were time stand so I can tell if people left.
/lonelylogic
Ditto. But wouldn’t they be stamped in Canadian time? I forget if you have to add a 1 or carry the eleventy to 24 places.
yeah I run on EST. what are you? mountain time?
Central time. Christ, how far west do you think Wisconsin is? We’re just over the EST line.
I thought you said something about New Mexico! Drats! Tricked again!
I always assume everyone has left while I went to the loo. It explains the empty room, anyway.
Canadian time actually is kept by a sundial. Unfortunately this time of year, it’s necessary to change how long a minute is to reflecting the amount of daylight. It makes it hard up to tell when the 6pm news should be played in Yellowknife, since they only have about 5 minutes of daylight (real person time) at this point of the year.
We tried using a water clock, but beavers kept on building a dam and would stop time.
See, I don’t know if you’re kidding or not. But this all makes sense to me. Everyone breaks out the Winter snow shoes, right (as opposed to the summer snow shoes)?
The Summer they use Tennis Rackets but in the Winter they use Lacrosse Sticks?
Lacrosse? In Canadia? Pfft. Maybe a curling broom. Or all out x-country skiing.
Ayuh. And they also like to play Beerhunter and wear toques.
But I am leaving ladies and gents. Football took the life out of me and work in the morning drained me. Sorry about the lack of posting today. That was my fault. I’ll either have an Eli Loves Whores post up tomorrow or possibly a baseball post. Who knows how frisky I’ll be
I think I’ll join the exodus. I really should get to sleep, and this MNF game has been less than exciting.
Okay, Geritol time. See you lot tomorrow!