Last Call is kind of like Blogkakke, only on PCP, LSD and ludes. Fuckin ludes man. Instead of just being a random link dump, it’s a place to gather with like minded sports fans, online betting fanatics, alcoholics and amateur comedians. So kick your shoes off, crack a beer and tell us a joke, spout off about that local sports team or just spout off about that time it burned when you had to pee. We don’t judge here, well Gimp does but as long as you stay away from his ficus, you’ll be fine.
Musical Interlude:
Warning, NSFW lyrics
Linkage:
Rand Ball: Micheal Rand and Drew Magary revive the Weekly Meltdown column in the wake of yesterdays Viking Meltdown.
Playboy: Ten nearly guaranteed ways to suck in bed.
Best Week Ever: The lovely and talented Michelle Collins presents a survivor guide for the Brangelina breakup, ie. the Hollywood Apocalypse.
Deadspin: When prank wars go wrong. See, this is why only suitable prank is stuffing a dead body in someones trunk. Nothing can go wrong with that one.
The Oatmeal: Oatmeal presents his latest comic; this one teaches us the proper way to use a semicolon and entertains us at the same time. Actually.
RCR LBL: Massive Attack releases their new single to you, for free.
KSK: Lt. Aldo Raine stops by for the scheduled celebrity Super Bowl pick. Instead, he presents a missive on hunting humps.
The Sporting Blog: Dan Levy wonders how relevant the Pro Bowl is; does anyone even want to play in it anymore?
Purple Jesus Diaries: PJD gives us his take on the Vikings-Saints game. As always its informative and funny.
The Big Lead: Peyton Manning continues his march towards football immortality and 5 completely non Manning related stories from the AFC championship game.
For the Fellas:
- Clothes? Yeah, deal with it.
For the Ladies:
- Double Rawr!
Bonus Video:
So I assume that the Purple Jesus stigmata joke has been worn out by now?
not at all. I hadn’t heard that one yet, but I get where you’re going with it.
I guess the Purple Jesus nickname is rather niche.
No, I knew the Purple Jesus name, just had not heard the stigmata, can’t hold on to the ball cause his hands hurt joke.
Nah, I mean that the Purple Jesus is only understood by our group – as in the small portion of the population that reads the blogs that we do. Holes in his hands don’t help him either.
fair enough.
I’d always heard the holes in his hands were so big that you could slip a football through them.
/fml
+1 Semper. I wish you would’ve made the joke before asking if it was old. You had me laughing just like that though, kudos.
Oh, and Rob, here are your comment timestamps
Have I ever said how much fun it isn’t signing up to finish my degree? No? Well, it blows trying to get multiple transcripts.
In other news, my nap was way too long. So, my Pubcast notes are about half ready. Time to wing it, as usual.
hey, I start schooling again in 5 days also. I didn’t know the Pubcast was returning, who’s on it?
It’s going to be a topic show for now. If you want to join in via calling or chatting, go ahead, bro.
And I’m still in school, but I’m going for my B.B.A. next fall. So, it’s a fun matter of aid and collecting various papers.
Ahh. Well, mayhaps I’ll have to get some sort of long distance thing settled so that I can participate in pubcasts and the like.
Yeah, I know without a decent plan for the phone, the cost of calling the US is hell.
What are you heading back to school for?
general grade boosters/pre-reqs for Law School or my MBA so I can be another one of those assholes
Yeah, I’ll be one of those assholes eventually. I might take longer to do it, but I’ll be one of them.
yay, two assholes in a blog…
I’d say DON’T DO IT!, but you’re not in my field so go ahead.
I’ve done more papers in the last 2 weeks than I did in 3 years of undergrad.
Yeah, I was going to try Law, but then I figured out that I would end up calling bullshit on every case.
I figured Business isn’t a bad field, most of the time.
I need to do something, Bartending will only take you so far in life, and so will being a chef who’s never studied under anyone good.
Hey all. I’ll be here for the night. So come as late as you want, fuckdolls.
I don’t think fuckdolls actually come. You just kind of use them and they lay there and hopefully not stink(you have to wash them)
Oh and Gally, we need some merch for the site. I was just asked to interview to be a coach on MTV’s “Made”, so let’s geaux.
for serial? I think I might be getting a clue. Okay, yeah people give us ideas for merchandise they would perhaps use and I’ll look into it.
A Logic Lacrosse shirt with a http://www.TheGallyBlog.com would be very relevant. I just emailed the MTV lady my resume and a bunch of head shot. Once she looks into my baby blue’s the job is mine.
It’s for lacrosse coaching. If not, just something hilarious that can get on TV.
you got a picture you want on it? I emailed a guy that Berstreet knows, and he’s getting back to me
It doesn’t even need to be a picture of me. Just something that says Logic Lacrosse with our website address in a good spot with a decal of a lacrosse stick with a shamrock and some booze or something..
Lacrosse players love to remind everyone they are Irish, they drink and they play lacrosse.
Wait a minute, you have to be fucking with me. I’m far too gullible.
Trying not to get overconfident . . .
at what?
Watching Georgetown @ Syracuse right now. Georgetown jumped out to a 14-0 lead. It’s now 18-12.
ahh, well best of luck
. . . and that’s why.
Andy Rautins can chug a triple-shot of Cockburn.
And why do you wish this upon him?
Crabby Georgetown alum I am.
Being too lazy to look into google, who is Andy Rautins? And what is this Cockburn?
Andy Rautins is Syracuse’s stand around and shoot 3 pointers guy. At least, unlike Devendorf, he doesn’t appear to beat up women. That we know of.
Cockburn is a kind of port. But it’s called Cockburn. The Brits insist it’s pronounced Co-burn. They’re silly.
Silly, Silly Brits
Hola boys, how goes it? And would one of you shoot me? Make it a clean hit, please.
Why are you requesting to be shot?
The client’s client is being a butthead.
And why is the client’s client being so?
Because it’s their prerogative. They want what they want, but haven’t bothered to adequately explain or define what that is. They only say “that isn’t it” when I submit pieces for approval.
Howdy. I hope you like Harry Connick Jr. I picked him out just for you
Is that who that is? I thought it was Brendan Fraser.
Well the video is Fraser, the picture is Connick
yay. timestamps
I’ll mushroom stamp someone’s cheek if there are any more complaints.
What is there left to complain about, you Jersey Shore-reject.
Yeah, that was weak sauce. I’m really, really tired and it’s Monday, and I’m waiting for 24.
I could so make Jersey Shore if I wanted to. You just need to pretend it’s Halloween.
“If I wanted to”… famous last words. “If I wanted to be a Guido”… you could be a male Kardashian
Abso-fucking-lutely. I’ll get a sex tape with a more-famous-than-I black chick, like Rihanna or Alicia Keys or something. It’ll be effing sweet ass.
I think I wore out my hyphen key on that one.
Alicia Keys is way too classy for that… but I’m sure L’il Kim is available
Trashy Girls don’t like to go slummin’?
Even trash has standards
Bonus to being in Canada. Certain shows air up to a week early. Tonights Chuck is awesome.
Is yours the one with Stone Cold Steve Austin?
yes sir
I would just like to say. It took all season, but that fucking Favre got what he deserved.
No, he didn’t. He’s still above ground.
haha
For those who might listen to the Pubcast. I did give the Super Bowl line. :)
why do you do this shit on Monday? There’s a lot going on on Mondays.
If you’re talking the betting line, I saw it yesterday at Colts -3.5… then Colts -5
Just did it today to get my jitters out. I’m taking suggestions on days, though.
Jitters?
Tuesdays are good, but I’ll be honest, I just tend to tune in during an afternoon I’m tired of the telly
I’m not a natural radio speaker, as a solo artist. However, it went better than I thought. Not as good as I wanted, but it’ll take work.
Gotcha. You just need to work on your fake radio voice. also, a good fake radio name.
I would have a fake name, but some fat asshole took “The Hedgehog.”
You’re pretty good, actually. You just need to shorten your pauses, and lead your guests – ask a direct question rather than waiting for someone to jump into the space.
Oh, and the line went up to -5.5 and might go up to -7
I think Colts will win by 10+
I’m conceding defeat because I was going to resort to a Momma joke.
WINNAR!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubJjZp-naKg
I don’t know if I learned how to embed videos yet, it worked on my post about how Mike Greenberg is a Jewish racist, but I’m not jinxing it.
Here’s a video by the Cold War Kids’ lead singer. He is super gay and has an amazing voice. I’d check it out, if I was you. But hey, it’s your life, man.
Opinion question: who had the harder road to make it to the Superbowl? NO or Ind?
Ind probably is better, but if NO beat better teams, that might hint that taking the under would be the way to go – especially if the line gets up to 10.
Although, Logic’s probably right that the Colts will dominate – their 2,3, & 4 options at WR + Clark are so good. I’d be ok with saying this team is as good as that Patriots team that went 18-1 – which I regard as one of the best teams ever.
Before anyone jumps on me about that Pats team, they beat a pile of playoff teams, because they probably had the toughest schedule ever – including the Superbowl champions on the road. Stack them up against the undefeated ‘fins or any other superbowl champion in the last 15-20 years, and I don’t see how their season is less impressive
I do think as I stated on the ‘Cast, the line will go more towards even as public sympathy goes up for NO. The lines will see the people gradually taking the under and adjust accordingly.
Does it make it a good bet? No. But… It’s normal betting standards as the week goes on.
From a sporting standpoint, NO had the “easier” time with a harder schedule. The Colts are in a division that was just plain bad. 8 of their games were against a very bad AFC South.
I think you are right, Semper. I think the Saints have had a much tougher road. I think the only bad game the Saints had was that Cowboys game, really. And regardless of whether the Vikings gave the Saints the game, they took it. How many times have we seen a team be “given” a game to still lose? Lookin’ at you, Jets.
It’s just when you look at it… The Colts haven’t really had any bad games this year. Peyton Manning just dismantled 2 of top defenses in the league. Some would argue that Baltimore and NYJ were both top 3 defenses.
I would disagree with JB, though. I think both divisions were miserable and I think both teams handled their respective regular seasons opponents pretty well. If it wasn’t for this bullshit resting starters bullshit, we could’ve seen 16-0 v. 15-1 right now. And yes, I used two bullshits.
I should clarify my comment – I was thinking recent games in the playoffs – although Dallas proved that momentum doesn’t exist.
But you two both did demonstrate why gambling is so hard. It’s easy to make arguments for both sides.
Haha. I gave up heavy gambling. 20$ (of chicken fat) max on each game.
Oh ok, I was thinking much broader. Like the whole season. I think it’s close though. I think Minnesota was the best team out of the 4 (that were beaten by these two teams). The Jets and Ravens offense are just smash-mouth, idiotic football with young QB’s and inexperienced coaches.
Arizona may have been more of a complete team than those two, and I think Green Bay was even more complete than them. The Saints definitely had the tougher schedule towards the end of the year and playoffs. And closing the regular season, had something to play for. They COULD have lost the #1 seed at one point.
It’s just in my opinion, I don’t see anyone slowing down that Juggernaut offense that is the Colts. I think they’ve seen 2 better defenses, the last 2 weeks. The Saints are tough and have a lot of “swagger” right now. It’s just, the Colts are healthier and have more fire power.
And as I said in the preview, the Colts defense is very underrated. Plus its super super fast, which negates some of the shenanigans that the Saints pull
Without having listened to the pubcast, is NO likely to put enough points up against a Colts team that has NO weaknesses.
Monkey Business is as annoying as fuck, but he is right that the Colts basically have the perfect team for the system that they play.
Oh, they’re far from perfect but they execute well. That and having one of the top 5 QB’s of all time playing at his best really helps. I know they ran for 100 against the Jets, but in order for them to really succeed, they need to be able to run on the Saints. Purple Jesus did put up 100+ against the Saints, but the dropoff from PJ to Addai is immense.
In my opinion, Monkey Business is a new fan. He hasn’t gone through all their defeats against the Patriots and the playoff collapses.
God damn it. I can’t find a midnight launch for Mass Effect yet. I might have to wait until morning. Yes, I’m super cool and awesome. Why do you ask?
Did you play the first one? Good? Are there no Wal Marts in Canada? What a magical place if that is the case!
Is Monkey Business a code name for Tony Kornheiser?
I think he actually watches sports, so no.
On another note, had a Faculty of Ed. formal on Saturday night. It was themed 60s, ’70s, & ’80s ‘Under the Sea’ theme. I wore a polyester jacket that was rather loud. I certainly stood out from the crowd as there was only one dude who wore a white dinner jacket, but everyone else dressed modern. Not that I really cared, since I don’t have any dignity to lose, but it was sort of symbolic of my time here (I don’t really fit in / it felt like being at a wedding where I was one of the few single people and everyone had to be home early to watch Grays or some shit like that – since there were few of us left 1/2 hour before the bar closed).
What’s the point on having a theme if everyone just dresses as if it were for their high-school prom?
On the other hand, I played ball hockey earlier in the day with people from my section and had a wonderful time. I’d rather do that 100/100 times than do that formal again.
/rant over.
I’ve found it’s always better to dress up for theme parties. I think my balls have been on display for the last 3-4 Halloweens. Fitting in, is kind of douchey. No offense if you do.
wouldn’t ideally everyone fit in by dressing up for Halloween parties?
But to you Semper, yeah it’s a bummer when a party has a simple theme and only like 5 people put in any effort to join in.
surprisingly, no. i went to a bar 2 years ago and was 1 of 3 to dress up out of a group of 12
I think it’s actually more that others saw it as a ‘formal’ and a fun time for that. Certainly, I don’t hold it against them the way they dresses – it’s their call. I’m just surprised that more people didn’t go with the same mentality I did in ‘let’s do something different – I’ll be wearing something similar to every wedding I go to the next 7 or so years, so take the opportunity to shake things up now’.’
I might also be jaded because it seems like nearly every girl is seriously dating/engaged and I’m pretty much without any hope of getting any from those that aren’t committed.
Gawd, I’m like an unfunny CPSL.
Correction: those that aren’t committed and are, most importantly, fun to be around.
there there. There there. I couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse wearing a suit made of $100 bills. I’m a total set up guy, or the guy that hefty girls are like, “oh hey, he’s not a complete asshole this must mean I have a chance.”
I think I just come off as creepy guy – even if I’m not trying to pick-up at all, I get the vibe that’s that they’re thinking of me.
I think that once people get to know me I’m actually alright (or so I’m told) flip-side to that is that once girls get to know me, they know better.
I’ll also add that I’m pretty hard on judging myself and have low self-confidence/esteem (maybe?), so the above may be overstating things a little.
I gave up on that shit (caring what others think, by and large) a long time ago. I dress up every chance I get. Victorian and Steampunk mostly
Last year, I discovered the fun of dressing up for theme parties. I think it comes with ‘growing-up’ a bit, well ‘growing-up’ as the way I look at it – developing the awareness of self and not worrying about what others might think. Although by that, I still have some ways to go.
So … what the fuck is Drew doing at the Star Tribune? You have no idea how much of a mind bend that was to see in my home town newspaper. HOWEVAH, THA PIONEEAH PRESS IS FAHR SUPERIAH!!
He got a hold of Rand and got him to do revisit the weekly meltdown. Drew lost his job in the economic downturn, and that’s why he writes daily for Deadspin, frequently for KSK, NBC, Sports Pickle and others.
That’s funny since like a year ago he was flexing his blogging muscles about how he was writing all over the place AND holding down a real job. Slick bastard. That sucks though. Good for him regardless. Maybe he can take Sid Hartman’s spot eventually.
As long as he keeps me entertained, I’ll keep supporting him. Oh, and he’s almost done a second book… Bastard
I’m impressed that there were enough dick jokes for one book, let alone two. I guess Michael Rand and him used to do that feature back like three years ago too, but I don’t remember that one. Sweet deal they’re bringing it back!
http://twitter.com/RandBall/status/8219726663
Well good luck getting a guest spot.
Yeah, I was kind of joking. I’m sure we’ll mutually forget about that. I don’t want to even bother trying to hold a candle to Drew. He’d just eat it anyway.
Haha, nah man. Only if it was a bacon candle. But seriously, if he claims to be open to guest spots you may as well try for it. If my paper would let me do a piece during the football season, I’d do it for free just for the exposure. Plus you’re talented also.
I didn’t like his book. I bought it because Spud said it was good. I liked Leitch’s more.
Tunison’s book is pretty solid. I haven’t gotten Drew’s yet.
I’ve mentioned that Tunison’s my fav. writer of the bunch – he seems to have more variety with his KSKharacters. Drew’s book is just drawings of dongs and swearing.
Ah, but I love swearing. FUCKING love it. My favorite writer of the group would be Ufford, followed by Punter (though there may be some bias there) and so on
I have Drew’s. They were both pretty solid. If I had to pick, it’d be Tunison’s because it was football orientated. I really don’t like other sports. I don’t even like lacrosse. I was just good at it.
Link?
It’s in the Linkage up above.
Ah, skipped over it to the playboy link. meh. although credit to Drew that he was important enough to get time in the MSM, if that’s what that was.
It’s kind of a back and forth with the Tribunes Minnesota sports guy about the Vikes game. It used to be every week, but they stopped doing it I guess, and Drew got them to do it again this week.
I don’t think anyone would blame you for going straight to porn, semper.
It wasn’t actually porn. It was one of those Playboy articles that comedians joke about.
I don’t dress for theme parties or halloween. It’s just not my thing, but if I’m not in either jeans or khakis, I’m really uncomfortable.
And that Colts -3.5 early line was perfect, and it’ll get to -7 by this weekend, then the late money will go to the Saints, bringing the line back to… -4.5 or so.
However, the O/U 56 is way too low.
Yeah, that’s low for sho’ I mean it could end up being the under, but it’s a lot more likely to be over.
Not 41-40 as PK ‘tweeted’ during the first half to which Donnie ‘Brasco’ Banks replied ‘in the first half’. That score is so unlikely because the combinations that you need to get 41 points are kinda tough to hit and 40 points are REALLY unlikely.
I disagree. Vegas is smarter than that. It’s so low right now to draw in all the squares who don’t realize …
… that two weeks of preparation, and an extended half-time break, are more of an advantage for the defence than for the offense.
Speaking of Cockburn, if a tree falls in the forest, does anybody care?
And speaking of Olympic boondogles, can we get some Vegas lines on some of the props (my Simmons-esque guesses on the over/unders):
Average temperature, Farenheit (47)
Events canceled due to lack of snow (5)
Tear gas canisters deployed (11)
Athletes testing positive for PEDs except THC(42)
Athletes testing positive for THC (245)</li)
NBC airtime spent on athlete profiles (%88)
Number of gold medals won by host country (1)
On the last one, take the under. I remember Montreal & Calgary.
Don’t you read the press? We’re winning the medal count in this one. It’s so official, its already happened.
Nope. And as I said yesterday: CTV, no I don’t believe.
Yeah, we’re making sure that nobody else can train using the facilities (I have no idea how it works at other events, but it’s been mentioned about Canadaland this time).
Also, there are now like 69,000 different events at the Olympics, Canada’s bound to win one gold.
Hockey for instance
Hockey’s in the maybe category. Ovie scares the hell outta me.
I don’t think Russia has the goaltending or defense though.
Joe Thornton and Danny Heatley scare the hell out of me.
Only if Heatley’s driving.
ba dum dum
Ok folks, I’m checking out. Catch most of you tomorrow at some point, I’m sure.
Peace.
Yeah, I’ve sort of come to terms with who I am, but on the other hand, I’m trying to be more outgoing and sharpening the ol’ wit.
I actually did some Rev. War re-enactments back in the day – then paying for university got in the way.
Did my Heatley ‘joke’ scare everyone off?
nah, once it gets to be 11 EST, these things really thin out. At least on school nights they do, as some people have bedtimes.
Don’t mind me. I’m still reeling. Not from the Saints win, though. Peter King retweeted Jesus_M_Christ twice today. The end times are nigh…
/pisses in ficus
What the fuck? Like as in joke retweets or as in serious ones?
I made a joke about how I answered Packers fans prayers about Favre and now they should return the favor and send a box of dogshit to Sports Illustrated c/o Peter King.
Fucking guy RT’d…I’m beyond mystified.
That’s crazy, and awesome. I think he’s come to understand the beating he takes every week and now he embraces it as something that comes with the territory.
Plus you know, buried down somewhere I think he actually has a sense of humor.
Ironically, that was the 2nd time he responded to me in the last 24 hours. I was front row, 3 seats down from the Vikes tunnel last night and he made at least 3 trips in and out of their locker before kickoff. The last trip I told him to ‘save some for Deanna.’ He was not amused.
Bah-ha-ha
Jesus. That’s right man, don’t fuck with the Jesus
He’d have to have a sense of humor about his work after this long, or he’d be the most obtuse schmuck on earth.
Say whaaaat?
One thing I do appreciate about King – he may be as naîve as hell, but he realizes he has a sweet gig and seems to be willing to take more than he dishes out.
Yep, he sure did http://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing
I guess you’re right – and once one of the old regulars call it, it always seems to quiet down.
/straightens sweatshirt ties
//straightens dick
So, I’m here for teh jerb I noticed weres available on the Twitters.
Did you put on pants?
I never saw anything about professional attire for this interview.
OK, then I’m not the only one. Good.
Nope. But I was a little late because Dany Heatley drove. We had to drop someone off on the way.
no pants required at all.