The Gally Blog

Weekday Drinking, Very LOGICal as of late.

So as Gally mentioned in Last Call, the unholy triumvirate hasn’t been posting as much and we know you are grief stricken.  Or in Gimp’s case, he’s been searching all day on where to by balls because he still hasn’t eaten any Chicken Fat. During the holidays there has been a few headlines worth mentioning. I’m going to grab them all in one post to catch The Gally Logic Blog up to speed.

Gilbert Arenas has a bad sense of humor, lots of guns:

This is the big one. (that’s what she said). Apparently, Gilbert brought an(4) unloaded, unlicensed gun(s) into his locker room and then proceeded to jokingly point said weapon AT ALL THE PUNK ASS BITCH NIGGAS IN DA ROOM. Whoa. Sorry about that, folks. My gangsta came out for a bit. My gangsta-side only parties with PacMan Jones. And you know PacMan GON DRANK.

Anywho, Gilbert was caught with the smoking gun” (/putsonsunglasses, YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!) during his joke with his team mate who may or may not had a stream of pee pee running down his leg. Now, Mein Furer Comissioner Stern has suspended Gilbert from the league indefinitely. This could mean lifetime ban and $89 million or this could mean “While Gilly is in jail” and he eventually gets a courage award for being so brave (/mouthfart). So I’m not properly prepared to make a future joke. I’m not a Mayan. I can’t predict the future. And what’s the deal with the Mayans? If they were able to predict the future, how come they weren’t able to figure out that those damn blankets had small pox?

Anyway, I think Stern is just copying the Plaxico deja vu from Heir Goodell and I wouldn’t be surprised if the punishments are eerily similair. I think there is no way that Stern won’t let Arenas earn the rest of his $80 million left on his contract. The lawsuit alone would cost more than my house.

Matt Holliday signed a contract with the Cardinals

If you know anything about me, I don’t do research. I blog for your amusement, for free. We’ll call it a wash. But my point being is, I think Holliday’s getting $150 million over 5 or 6 years? Either way it’s making me mildly jealous. Do I think it’s the right move? No. Matt Holliday is a decent player. I think he stats were exaggerated because of the whole mini-park the Rockies play in.

I feel like the Mets got the good deal by signing Bay for 5 years $50 million. I think right now, Bay is being prepped for surgery. And btw, “Prep yourself for surgery” is my new pet name for “I’m going to lick your vagina”.

Hall of Fame snubs featuring Jay Marrioti

The Hall of Fame voters just voted Andre Dawson into the Hall of Fame and I don’t think I could’ve been any more redundant.. He was the only one. Bert Blyleven and Roberto Alomar just missed out because of indecisiveness and flipfloppiness. Now, I’m 23 years old. Blyleven was denied entry on his 13th year of eligibility so he’s been out of the MLB before I was born. I have no idea who he is. I just heard Mike and Mike petition for him this morning. I thought Roberto Alomar would have been a sure thing. I also thought McGwire would go but that’s a different story and he’s not close.

Now, as it was pointed out to me by J-Arnold Is Not Emo, Jay Mariotti just attention whored this whole day that is supposed to be about access into this prestigious club. Mariotti left his ballot blank, as to not vote anyone on purpose. It’s rare that someone stoops to THAT level of douchiness. He’s like sports media’s own John Edwards. It’s that simple. If Jay doesn’t want to write something on his fucking paper and he wants all the perks, than fuck him. Take away his vote. Give it to me!

Tiger Woods is hiding on Long Island (via TMZ app)

That’s weird. I thought he wanted to stay away from oodles and oodles of skanks. He’s staying at Jim Dolan’s house. Yuck. No wonder the Knicks suck. Tiger is spitting AIDs all over them. My bet is he is staying at Steve Phillips’ house. That guy knew how to party with some plus sized hunchbacks.

Charlie Weis signs with the Kansas City Chiefs

I like this fat bastard. I don’t care what anyone says. He turned Brady Quinn, Jimmy Clausen and a little guy called Tom Brady into great quarterbacks for their level. Now he is reunited with Matt Cassel whom he ignored for all those years.

I like to see the Chiefs making an effort though, lookin’ at you Browns. Speaking of which:

Eric Mangini to stay with the Browns

Ok, so the Browns obviously don’t have the balls to trade Quinn or Anderson. Now they don’t have the balls to fire Mangini? I thought that’s what Holmgreen was getting paid to do? And now he is just sitting there, double fisting hoagies, collecting money and not making changes? What a great fucking job.

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End Scene.

Expect big things from us in the next few months. That does it for me. I’m going to watch this BCS bullshit game. My prediction? Texas 35-28 in a thriller! WHOOOHOOOO!!

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