The Morning After Pill is a recap of the previous days sporting events. Certain teams and events are left out due to an extreme lack of caring and hangovers. Mostly the hangovers.
NFL: So Josh McDaniels is a super duper genius. He’s so good that he’s amicably splitting up with DC Mike Nolan, and leaving the team with it’s soon to be 5th defensive coordinator in 6 years. Nolan, in saying fuck you buddy, is coming to terms with the Miami Dolphins as their DC. San Diego fans get to look forward to three more years of this.
- What? I'm beautiful, I can make fun of him.
NBA: Oh hay, its getting to be that point of the year where strippers be running for their lives. It’s almost time for the NBA All-Star Game. The big news is that LeBron James is bailing on the event even though he stated last year that he’d do it this year. In much smaller news, wait for it… Nate Robinson is back to try and repeat as champ.
I call it a small deal, because Nate is only 5’9″. You get it? He’s small. I’m so clever. In a game that sounds like it may have been interesting, Chicago got walloped by the Golden State Warriors 114-97. It was quite the team effort as the team was lead by everyone apparently. Monta Ellis had 36 points, Corey Maggette had 32 points and Andris Biedrins had an impressive 19 points. Chicago, meanwhile, just laid down and took it like Bree Olson. The Memphis Grizzlies beat the Phoenix Suns 125-188 at home last night. Rudy Gay [edit tee hee
NHL: The Province of Alberta collectively took it in the but last night. The San Jose Sharks beat the Calgary Flames 9-1 and the Colorado Avalanche raped the Edmonton Oilers 6-0. Apparently some folks follow the Buffalo Sabres and they had a good one last night, beating the Phoenix Coyotes 7-2. Jason Pominville had 2 goals and one assist, while Thomas Vanek had 1 goal and 2 assists for the Sabres.
CBB: Texas, which was just rewarded with its first #1 overall ranking ever, lost to a deep Kansas State(9) team 71-62. It was Texas first loss on the season, but it's still good news for the Big 12 conference as they have 3 of the top 9 teams in the nation.
Soccer: David Beckham is a dick. Some of you thought that already, but he's come out to say that Manchester City will never usurp Manchester United, even though they have loads of money to spend. Somebody decided to ask Beckham his mouth breathing opinion you see, because he played for ManU years ago. News flash asshole, you now play in Los Angeles. David Sullivan and David Gold have finalized a takeover of the West Hampshire "Hammers". Great name England. You win again... Sullivan, meanwhile has claimed they have a 7 year plan in place to make it back to the Champions league. Well la-de-da, I have a 7 year plan myself your majesty. It's called winning the lottery and hooking up with Blake Lively.
Australian Open: I've heard from Hutchins, that Federer played a great end to his game last night. In Andy's words, "It's like Federer remembered he was Federer." He lost the first match before winning the last three, though he didn't steamroll through those last three. Serena Williams cruised through her first round set's 6-2 6-1. Yay!
Gratuitous semi-nude athlete:
- Clearly on her way to try out for the Olympics
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