via. University of Alberta student paper.
Last Call is kind of like blogkakke, except on PCP, LSD and ludes man. Fucking ludes. Instead of just being a random link dump, it’s a place to gather with like minded sports fans, amateur comedians and dope fiends after a hard day in the salt mine. If you have something you’d like to see here or just want to know about our fascination with Minnesota, our contact info is over there on the right and there’s always the comment section. So come on in, kick your shoes off and grab a nice 18 year old scotch and spout off about your local sports team, tell us a joke or tell us about that time AJ Daulerio kicked your cat or had sex with your mother, aunt and sister at the same time.
A few things I would like to mention before getting started today. First of all, our resident guy who stands too close to the ficus, Gimp, welcomed his lovely daughter to the world last night. It’s a good thing she looks like her mother. Secondly, as you may have noticed, we’ve added a couple new writers to the staff. Most of you all know White Speed Receiver, Chubs K Gun and PJDiaries of Purple Jesus Diaries. If you don’t know those guys, say hi. They’re pretty solid people. Lastly, we’re expanding. Yeah, that’s right, expanding for our loyal audience of 12. While this site will remain primarily focused on sports and dick jokes, we will be folding other things into the fold. This, for example.
Musical Interlude:
Presumably the highlight from last nights Grammy awards, and without ALL the censorship.
Linkage:
ROTU: Site friend, Brandon, started a mailbag. Nobody asked him a question, so he answered questions destined for other people.
Film Drunk: You may have heard that Rip Torn broke into a bank with a loaded gun. The latest update is that he was so loaded he thought he was in his house. That’s some good drinking there.
The Sporting Blog: Normally I’d add a quip or comment, but Hutchins title says it all. Markeith Ambles bodly inagurates a new era in recruiting, gets shot down over Twitter.
Reddit: Maddox was over at Reddit for an Ask Me Anything session. If you like Maddox, you’ll be entertained. If you don’t, well we can’t be friends anymore.
College Humor: The iPad is a comedy goldmine. Oh, and is it just me or is Sarah Schneider totally marriage material boneable?
With Leather: Now that Eastern Washington has joined Boise in having bizarre colored field turf, what school might come next? Will they just stick to changing the carpet, or will they take the time to match up the drapes?
Black and Gold Tchotchkes: The Starter Wife continues her amazing 14 days of super bowl recipes with mixed fruit and blueberry salsas. If those don’t appeal to you, you can go and shove diced habanero innards in your urethra.
Kotaku: Building the perfect Star Trek Frankengame. I know y’all are trekkies.
Style Points: Chris Hanson’s Axe thinks that the Pro Bowl doesn’t suck, you do. I don’t agree with all his points, but the article is far to well done not to share.
National Football Post: Ray Gustini and Bobby Big Wheel did a compendium on two decades of The Simpsons.
For the Fellas:
For Sculptor as she’s likely the only lady female here:
Bonus Video:
via. Warming Glow
Ooh, he’s packing….a 9mm semi automatic.
Don’t. Fuck. With. Michael. Weston.
Who’s that?
Michael Weston is the character that Jeffrey Donovan plays in the excellent Burn Notice. Not to be confused with the actor Michael Weston, though he did guest star last season.
Don’t. Forget. To. Put. Periods. After. Each. Word. To. Immitate. His. Controlled. Way. Of. Speaking.
Ha. Ha.
Gally
The un-witty writer/client
Well. Played.
/eats a yogurt
Oh. I don’t watch that show either. Might also be why I noticed his gun first…
I probably couldn’t recommend a show more. It is outstanding.
everyone I’ve gotten to watch it absolutely loves it. If it helps, both Ufford and Sepinwall love it.
Huh. Is it a pay show? (ie: on HBO, Showtime, etc.)
It’s on USA Network.
What’s awesome, is when you’re sick and someone offers to come over and bring you things. I like my new friend.
My mom is more than a friend.
My mom isn’t friends with fat retards.
That’s true. She’s more like a Saint of some sort.
oh snap. snip snap
I’m neither fat nor retarded, though I’m not friends with your mom either.
To be fair to logic, while this pic by your name implies NOT fat, it does really, really imply retarded.
I get the Chandler face when a picture is taken of me. So to combat that, I usually make a face. But point taken.
Chandler face or creepy, pedophile,kid-toucher face?
@gally. Yeah but you’re Canadian. Which is worse cuz you don’t think you’re retarded.
@Rob a depository? I don’t get it? cheese depository? Wisonsinites don’t know what to do with women. I think you get similar results when you give
a walrus a beachball.
So I’m the only writer that doesn’t get a shout out?
/getsbitchespregnant
Well call in that bomb threat and we’ll see what happens. Next time shall I give you a, “and today we’d like to congratulate Logic, for he just found out he can beat all of our asses”? Or shall I edit the post and put that up there with todays?
What is this “Pick on the talent Day” at The Gally Blog
Hey, Sorry for picking on you, Logic
What do you mean? Not once have we made fun of Logic?
I don’t get the joke either but I’m assuming I should be FURIOUS right now! YOU GUYS PICKED ON LOGIC!?!
No it was a compliment, Logic asked why it was pick on “the talent” day. We claimed that no one made fun of you..
I know. I was just trying to play with everyone. I failed. Miserably.
Might be my fault. I often fail the online sarcasm detection test.
You need to be careful when using the word “talent” around these parts. I think “contributors” would be more appropriate.
huh. I don’t see Skeets on the author list…
and that one cuts at me. ouchie.
actually, I was making a depository joke….but that works too, LOL
We usually just refer to Skeets as our 2nd favorite Candian behind Bucholtz.
Do I still crack the top 20, or have I slipped out?
I think you’re down around 35 or so. Which is sad, because I didn’t think there were 35 Canadians that I didn’t hate (hockey playerrs not withstanding).
Progress.
Well, golly gee. Thank you ever so much for considering me in your top 50. That’s just swell mister.
/Canadian’d
Let’s all take easy street to Joketown! Weeeeeeee!!!
Easy also describes Super Mario Brothers 1. You know, in case you missed that before.
Rob above dick jokes. Not above? Mom jokes. Or women, in general
Not above dick jokes, no mom jokes, obviously. Or my dick in my hand, as it were and as it always will be
/cries
I like that I wrote “The Pro Bowl Sucks”, and CHA wrote “No it doesn’t, you do”. Gally, is it cool if my next post is titled “Oh yeah? Your face sucks!”?
Yeah I thought that was pretty related
You can do that if you like, though I don’t think it was directed totally at you. He would have linked you if it was an attack implicitly directed at you, ie. look what this retard wrote.
I’m not upset, I just thought it was funny. I have no problem with CHA.
CHA is a pretty stand up guy, Socks doesn’t like me and I just can’t see how. I think I’m amazing at everything I do, ever
I would rather eat shit with a shovel than get laid. I correct people’s grammar. It’s like pussy repellent. Help me, Logic.
Done being a douche?
*aherm* Are you done being a douche, Gally?
Excuse me. I forgot how important grammar is to a bunch of virgins.
haha. Well if you were Amazing at everything, ever, you would just show me how to cuckold someone. And, yes I’m done being douchey.
Hey! I love me some grammar, and I’m not a virgin! I’ve conjugated my fair share of verbage.
I’ve been told I need to adjectate better. It’s a made up word, but I think the sentiment holds true
And the fourth movies on some of those “trilogies” didn’t turn out bad, IE: Live Free or Die Hard and Crystal Skull. The rest… Meh.
Wait, what? Crystal Skull sucked mucho hard.
Compare that to Terminator: Salvation…
I will, IF I ever see it.
Save your time and go for the other Sam Worthington movie, Avatar.
Saw it, didn’t like it. Well, I liked the techie parts and I would have loved seeing it on Acid or Mushrooms. Story was junk, and the fact that it’s designed as a trilogy but doesn’t leave anything else to be explored…
I only hate one Canadian, but then I used to fuck her, too. So, that might help.
And then she wrote a song about you?
Do you have secret information about JB being Dave Coulier?
You take that back, asshole!
Rob claimed she wrote a song about you. The obvious comparison is Alanis-Dave Coulier. If you’ve got a better parable, I’d like to hear it.
I also think you meant to say, “Cut. It. Out.”
Well, I don’t have a 9mm to enforce my point…
Don’t all Americans have guns? I thought that’s how it worked
Yes, I have guns. But carrying around a .50 Caliber all the time gets heavy.
haha, I’ll bet it does
Celine Dion? Daaaaamn JB, you get around…
You used to nail the singer from Nickelback?
I said fema… No, I didn’t.
So you’re saying you like Nickelback then. You’re screwed either way. :)
Not in the slightest. The ex used to like all of her homeland groups. Which meant I had to keep my own headphones on at all times. Because who the fuck wants to hear Sum 41 when not holding people hostage.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-02-01/christina-hendricks-ridiculous/
Huh. She DOES have gorgeous eyes. And the only reason I noticed is because the pix downloaded so large, I had to scroll down to see the rest of the photos. Though once I scrolled down, I did’t bother to scroll back up…
how small is your laptop that you had to scroll down to see the goods?
14″ screen. But for some reason the images downloaded in gigundo-size. Made scrolling down worth it, for sure, LOL
ahh, I see
Didn’t hear anything in work today about the whole Big 11 think. I do know that Jamie Dixon is appalled by the idea. There’s only one Big 11 team that would possibly constitute as big a game that half of the Big East does (and thats Michigan State). I’m hoping it isn’t true.
Well the Pitt information director claimed it was false. It also seems a little soon, considering the fact that they were going to take like 18 months to come to a conclusion.
But isn’t that, like 3 weeks in Canuckistani time?
Let’s see,
/pulls out Canadian-Amurican calculator
well we add by ll and then multiply by the Canadian-Amurican equivilency factor. Then we subtract the coefficient of Liberal leadership and divide by 0. Wait, that can’t be right, can it?
/gives up and eats Canadian Bacon, while watching the movie Canadian Bacon
From a sports perspective, I like that the PSU/Pitt rivalry would thrive again, and very little else. Academically, it wouldn’t be bad. Still, I think the Big Ten will hold out for ND, for better or worse.
The thing is that a move like that would kill the basketball team which should be the most important factor. One football game a year against Penn State does not constitute that type of move. Instead of like six big time home basketball games a year you have one. It would be really dumb.
Are you sure there’d only be 1 big game a year? MSU’s an elite program, Wisco a boring as fuck style that’s effective, Purdue and Illinois are usually pretty damn good, Indiana’s on the way back up with Crean, Michigan’s getting better with Beilein, and we’re not chopped liver (although, to be honest, the off-the-court stuff is really harshing our vibe this year).
The Big Ten isn’t the Big East, but we’re not shit.
Most of them are really boring teams. We played Wisconsin a few years ago and no one was all that excited about it. Illinois and their 40 ppg average isn’t going to excite anyone. None of those teams have any connection to us aside from Michigan St (when they got lucky in the NCAA’s against us) and Penn St (who are terrible). I wouldn’t mind seeing Purdue bc my cousin went there and there would be so much talk. It’s just not worth it.
It’s not the “one football game a year”.
It’s the $22M/year that you would get from the football television contract. And that’s just for a season w/o a title game (or rather, averaged out for the last 2-4 years w/o title game).
Man, you lose to South Florida and suddenly you wanna run for the hills.
No offense, but I don’t want you dirtying our pool. And I really don’t want Chub’s black shoed people scuffing the floor anymore, either. I’d like to go back to 10 teams so the longest trip I have to make is Cbus, which is easy to drive Friday for a Saturday game, then back on Sunday.
But that’s just me being selfish.
Meh, I think most of the league hates our inclusion, to be honest.
The travel is the only reason. I’m looking forward to your team’s trip to the Bank next year. I love JoePa, and those Crispins on your basketball team seem like nice kids.
Getting a 12th team would help with the travel at least- you’d probably only play in Happy Valley once every 5 years or so.
I don’t mind PSU in the Big 10+1. I enjoy watching JoePa crap his pants on television
Is it just me or is President Hassan on 24 look exactly like Ozzie Guillen? And apparently acts like him too. I keep waiting for him to try to nuke Jay Marriotti and then drop gay slurs on President Taylor’s cabinet.
So Crosby doesn’t seem to mind when fans throw hats when he scores a hat trick. Hypocritical monkey-fucker.
Crosby is a fuck wallet
Timestamps! w00t!
and they’re almost all for you
ahem.
haha, well almost is subjective. That and if it had remained one dissenting opinion, I may not have found a guy in Japan to write me some code updates…
Things that I give less than a shit about:
1. Lady Fucking Gaga
2. See #1
I’m still convinced it’s a guy.
It looks like a guy, that I want to punch in the face.
Can we take turns? I’ll hold him down and you can throw the first punch.
Gaga, like Taylor Swift, sings innocuous pop songs. It’s the media’s insistence that EVERYTHING THEY DO IS IMPORTANT that is a bit much.
Quoted for truth.
Hubby: Ha, that was funny. You must be drunk.
Me: Sadly, no. Though I probably should be.
Mary Dixon: Taylor Swift seemed to have some trouble finding notes last night. It was … painful.
Lin Brehmer: (deadpan) Maybe she was flirting with dissonance. A lot of musicians do that.
Mary Dixon: She stuck her tongue down dissonance’s throat.
Speaking of Drag Queens (Lady Gaga), it’s time for RuPaul’s Drag Race!!! Must-see train wreck TV!!
With MrD’s list, I can give artists that I don’t get…
1. Lady GaGa
2. Kings of Leon (even if they are from my town)
3. The Strokes
4. Julian Casablancas solo work.
I don’t mind a couple Kings of Leon songs, but I wouldn’t go to a concert and I wouldn’t buy a whole CD of theirs.
I’m a big Kings of Leon fan. Mostly because I like awesome stuff.
I’ll admit, I find it slightly amusing that the idea is that Pitt will turn down the offer to join the Big Ten. The Pitt to Big Ten rumour has been pretty well debunked by both sides. But a few things to consider:
Pitt adds NOTHING to the Big Ten. Absolutely nothing that they’re not getting (as a conference) from Penn State and Ohio State. Pitt is less valuable to the Big Ten than Rutgers is, and far less valuable than Syracuse could be.
The value for the Big Ten expanding has to be two fold, the school that joins will gain a financial windfall (this goes for any team sans an SEC team; even Notre Dame), just based on the broadcast contracts
The team that joins the Big Ten, if there is one, will add a market that isn’t already covered by a current school, will be a very good academic institution, and will be a school that will help increase the value of the next series of broadcast contracts.
Pitt fails the smell test.
But…it smells like teen spirit!!!
@Chubs/K-Gun… the post was not in any way directed at you. Your post kind of got me in the mood for thinking about my own view, but really I thought that whole post up as I was watching the game; it was a reaction to the game. I tried to keep it general and funny and just kind of in opposition to the point of you were making, but not at you or anyone else in particular. The language I used was just to be over-the-top, not to actually say that everyone who disagrees with me is a retard. I’m not even sure if I agree with me.
Thanks to anyone who read it and thanks for the link, gally.
PS If you write “OH yeah well so does your face!” just provide a link, please! For $20 you can also have a picture of said face, email me!
One more thing I totally forgot you titled your post “The Pro Bowl Sucks.” I was just thinking in general when I titled mine.
But that’s what made the whole exchange funny.
Keep doing good work and it’ll keep getting linked
Oscar Prediction Post put up on http://bloginwi.com
Good night folks.