- The other "Mike" in NY Radio
I’ve been meaning to bring this up, mostly because I was so mad…at myself. I work normal hours, 8AM-4PM so I get the pleasure of listening to morning radio. Ever since Howard Stern left for satellite, I had Opie and Anthony. After they left? No one. You get Roger and JP who pretend to be “cutting edge” or you get Z100 and the Z-Morning Zoo who could all asplode and I would be just as happy as if the Lost producers would explain the fucking smoke monster to my face. Or, you could go with sports radio. In the morning its Mike and Mike on ESPN radio or Craig Carton (awesome) and Boomer Esiason on WFAN. On the way home, most people go with Francesa. Sometimes, I get mad at how opinionated he is and have to switch him. That’s when there is Michael Kay and his crew on ESPN radio…
Sometimes, Michael Kay gets some really good guests and this was a case where I was curious about the guest he had. Francesa had Demaurice Smith on his show and honestly, it was incredibly boring. You can get the important snippets from the long, drawn out suck-fest, from Jerry Recco during a traffic update. On the Michael Kay show, he had Kyle Turley, an ex-Saints lineman who has had memorable moments in New York….
Turley, now a musician, also just came out with an “outlaw country music album with a twist of heavy metal/rock and roll roots just like him” which sounded kind of awesome. One of those songs is entitled “I Bleed Black and Gold” and they played 10 seconds of it on the radio. The song sounded great. Another great topic of discussion they could have went into was that Kyle Turley just volunteered to donate his brain to science after he dies, to further study concussions which he is still feeling the effects today.
All of these topics could have been spoken about for more than just a broad question and an answer that was usually cut short by another question. There could have been follow up questions. There could have been related questions about specific details from Turley’s answers. They could have pressed for better answers out of Turley. A lot could have happened. But what did Michael Kay do? Being the single, giant headed man that he is? He cuts Turley short and goes to commercial to segue to Brooklyn Decker in some lame joke about Turley’s looks and him being an attractive man. Everyone knows that Turley isn’t good looking. Even Kyle’s mother. But Mike, it’s radio. You big doofus. But anyway…
- /drool
Sure, I know. Brooklyn Decker is fucking gorgeous. You don’t have to tell me. If I were her boyfriend, she wouldn’t need to buy toilet paper. I would drink a gallon of her piss just to see where it came from. I’ve literally started fires from the friction of my fappin’ to her pictures. I’d use her tampons like Skoal. If she ever came to my house, she would literally make all the other girls chained to my radiator jealous. I bet her naughty parts shoot out a rainbow and at the other side you find a pot of gold. If you used a black light in my room, you could see it from space…Thanks to her.
On the other hand, I was pissed. This is radio. It’s 4:25PM and I am pulling up to my house and I wanted more Turley. I wanted to hear about this guy’s crazy life and tattoos and his Super Bowl thoughts, being an ex-Saint. I want to hear about the effects of concussions, about the possible lock out from an ex-player’s point of view…not a businessman or lawyer. I want to know about why he ripped a helmet off a dude after a play. I want to know about his album. All of this relevant garbage to the Super Bowl! Why the eff are you going to bring in Brooklyn Decker? Because she’s hot? I can’t see her on the radio! Plus, She’s married to a tennis player! Who the hell cares about her thoughts on the Super Bowl. And what did Michael Kay do? Stumble over his compliments while maintaining a respectful (read as: sarcastic) tone towards Roddick because God forbid Andy come on his show and there be awkward tension between the two. Like Andy would be jealous of the fifth Mount Rushmore head. Not because of his fame, but because of the size of his gigantic fucking head.
Does anyone else not get this? It’s a radio interview. Models belong on television. When I buy this issue of Sports Illustrated, I’m going to cut her mouth out because I don’t care what she has to say and for no other reason than that. I promise.
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Funniest shit I’ve read in a long time!
so why don’t you spring for satellite? then you can hear Howard Stern using the word retard every two minutes and you’ll be in very good company. loser.
Mike as in Michael Kay? That would be too good. No, no. I won’t believe it.
I’m not understanding what you are trying to say though. I’ll be in good company as in with listening to Howard Stern? Is that how you are trying to insult me? I don’t get that.
Anyway, I don’t like the idea of paying for Satellite Radio. I think it should be free for everybody. Why is it any different? I don’t know. I feel like I’ve gone this long with out listening to it, I can continue not listening to satellite and paying for a service I can get for free. Besides, 90% of the time I’m listening to my iPod.
Lastly, I think the lowest form of low is when some anonymous interweb person calls another anonymous interweb person a “loser” or a “douche” without warranting why he thinks that. So I guess what I’m trying to say is “I’m rubber you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you. Na na doo doo”
Good Day, sir.
Better call 911, because someone just got burned.