The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous days sporting news and events. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers. If you have something that you think should be here, contact our tipline at tips @thegallyblog.com
NFL: It ain’t easy being Breezy. Well, it might get a lot easier as he’s in discussion with the Saints for an extension and a raise. That sounds like they’re going to put him on some platform shoes and give him a penile implant, but I doubt that’s actually in the cards. OMFG, ROFLCOPTERBBQWTF Dwight Freeneey’s ankle is starting to feel better. Wake me when he’s the Super Bowl MVP. Actually, wake me at the beginning of the game so that I can see that event unfold.
MLB: 
Justin Verlander has signed a 5 year, $80 million contract extension with the Detroit Lions. Now’s your chance ladies. He’s young, rich and single dating someone not very attractive. Yeah, that little Asian girl next to him. Of course she’s little..
NBA: Phil Jackson became the winningest coach in Lakers history on the strength of 99-97 victory over the Bobcats. Phil did it without Kobe’s help as the mercurial guard was held to a measly 5 points. Come on, I could get 5 points. Rajon Rondo is hinting that there’s menstrual flow discourse in the Celtics dressing room. He said he wouldn’t really elaborate on the situation, so right now he’s basically just throwing shit against the wall. The Knicks crushed the Wizards 107-85 last night. I guess it’s time to cue up those presses making 2009-2010 Knicks championship gear. Oh, they’re 19-29? Never mind then.
NHL: In a move surprising to no one, the Blue Jackets have firedKen Hitchcock as their coach. Serves him right for taking one of the least talented teams in the league to one of the poorest records. What a dick. Superstar Ilya Kovalchuk has been informed by his team that he will be traded. Soon. One asinine report that I read said he was told he could be traded in mere hours. Looks like that projection was full of it. Magnetite, as he was way off course you see. The Edmonton Oilers shut out the Flyers as they scored with 17 seconds left to take the lead and pull out the 1-0 victory. After going winless in the month of January, the Oilers are now undefeated in the month of February. Can you say dynasty? Of course you can, if not you’d probably not be reading this.
Other: Yeah some other stuff happened. Lots of it.
Gratuitous Semi-Clothed Athlete:
- Who said Golf was boring?
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