Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Tuesday May 22nd 2012

Many Pacquiao boxed. Clottey showed up. I drank.

Kudos to you boxing. Manny Pacquiao versus Joshua Clottey at the time probably seemed like a great idea. Similar to many of my drunk sexual encounters from back in college, (Read: fat chicks). However, the end result never pans out how you want it to and is usually accompanied by a head ache and a little less self-esteem.

Pacquiao threw a ton of punches and Clottey did a ton of blocking. Yes both Pacquiao and Clottey are world class athletes, and I don’t want to take anything away from Clottey, but for boxing money I think I could have blocked and turtled up for 12 rounds. I mean seriously, $50 to watch that seems like a waste. My $50 would have been better spent fronting the purse in a bum fight. No, seriously it would have.

If the fighting, or lack there of, wasn’t enough of a downer how about that commentating? Case in point, Jim Lampley:

Good god that’s painful. I’m sorry Jim, but yelling “Bang” a bunch of times doesn’t make for great announcing. It just makes you sound like a kid with Asperger’s who has an obsession with Cowboys and Indians.

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One Comment for “Many Pacquiao boxed. Clottey showed up. I drank.”

  • Nonpopulist says:

    “Good god that’s painful. I’m sorry Jim, but yelling “Bang” a bunch of times doesn’t make for great announcing. It just makes you sound like a kid with Asperger’s who has an obsession with Cowboys and Indians.”
    /slow clap


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