NOTE: THIS IS A GALLY BLOG EXCLUSIVE… If you don’t know my back story, I’m from Long Island, New York. Also, I live 5 minutes down the block from Hofstra. It’s very inconvenient because of all the restraining orders that the sorority houses have against me, I can’t even get to the mall! :(. However, I bang one of the journalism students that interns for the Daily News. It has its perks. For example, reading the paper one day before everyone else. I didn’t even have to go down on this girl tonight and she sent me this newspaper clipping! Check it out!
Now that’s a shocker. Oh wait? Is that a complete fabrication? Did I make the whole thing up? Why, yes. Yes I did. Am I worse than Chris Carlin or Michael Smith? No. Actually, I’m better because I’m not serious with all these lies. Plus, I’m comical and adorable. These people are just blatantly making guesses at where people will end up in free agency or when they will retire; in hopes that the person the story is about just goes: “Am I? Shit, I need to get to San Fran..” or “Holy crap I’m old. I didn’t even know I retired.”
Jeeze. It’s like these people have office pools for these stories and their day was today, so they tried to coax everyone into thinking they won the money. Well you know what? My LEAST favorite animal is a Cheetah.