Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Wednesday May 23rd 2012

Thanks For Everything. I’m Retiring

Hey Internet denizens. First of all, I just wanted to take some time and thank you all for your patronage and support. You’ve made the past 10 months sitting in my underwear, in front of a computer drinking beer and writing dick jokes far more enjoyable than it should have been. You’ve become like family to me. It’s become increasingly difficult to read sport stories and accompany them with appropriate potty humor. Management has brought in a great supporting cast to help me, but I’m no longer able to compete at a high enough level for my standards anymore.

It was great when the powers that be brought me Gimp, Logic and then Berstreet. We enjoyed great successes here. Then Berstreet signed on with With Leather and Gimp had his first child, and we entered a serious rebuilding phase. PJDiaries came on board and there were glimmers of hope in our eyes. Ryan “Kidd” Bidwell came on lost his life in an untimely incident and things looked grim again. Our scouting team found us a couple diamonds in the rough in Chubs_KGun and White Speed Receiver.

It’s a time of great promise and purpose here with the Gally Blog organization. We’ve got people doing interviews with National Canadian media. We’re doing interviews with former NFL players turned recording artists. We’ve also breached the land of the podcast, as both Berstreet and Logic have had their time under the spotlight in the House of Punte podcast.

I’m sadly stepping down though. I’m taking the road showed to me by my good friend Nomar Garciaparra. Nomar played for many years with the Boston Red Sox before he was shipped off to the Dodgers. He had some success with the Dodgers but battled injuries the last two years and his playing time greatly suffered as a result. The Red Sox on the other hand went and won two World Series championships without Nomar. Yesterday, he signed with the Red Sox, so that he could retire as a member of the team that dumped him in order to win. Taking that into account, I’m announcing that I’ve signed with the Red Sox so that I could also retire as a championshipless member of the team. They even came up with this wonderful plaque for me, which will be going directly on my wall. Thanks Red Sox, thanks Blogfrica and thanks to the members of the Gally Blog, I couldn’t have done any of this without you guys.

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