Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday June 20th 2013

The Morning After Pill: Just How Your Mother Likes It

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com

NFL: Logic’s number one favorite player in the NFL, Brady Quinn, is on the trade block? In an attempt to solidify their QB roster, they’re bringing in Jake Delhomme? See all those question marks? That means a story is legit, and will definitely happen.

MLB: Nomar Garciaparra signed a one day contract with the Red Sox so that he could retire as a member of the team. That’s awful cute Nomar, but did nobody give you the memo? Once you left the team, they won 2 World Series championships without you. For you counting at home, that’s as many as they won without me. Where’s my retirement plaque? Torii Hunter said that black Latino players are impostors. Just when I thought there was something interesting in baseball, Torii had to go and apologize and say that impostor was the wrong word.

NHL: The NHL powers that be decided yesterday that they were going to look into penalizing players for hits to the head. Having said that, they decided that Matt Cooke didn’t need to be suspended for his hit to the head on Marc Savard.
The stick and glove that Sidney Crosby used to score the Gold Medal winning goal, have been recovered. An investigation determined that they had both been misplaced rather than attempted stolen.

NBA: Jason Kidd had 20 points and 9 boards in leading the Mavs to a 96-87 win over the Nets. It was the Mavs 13th win in a row. Rudy Gay had 28 points in leading the Grizzlies to a dominating win over the Celtics, 111-91. Berstreet’s future ex-husband, Kevin Garnett, had a great game, scoring 6 points in 26 minutes. That’s good right?

Soccer: Wayne fucking Rooney has 30 goals already in this years EPL season. He has an outside shot at breaking Cristiano Ronaldo’s record of 42. Is he going to shoot for it? No, because he’s a big flaming pussy.

Gratuitous Semi Nude Female Athlete.

The leading lady from Chuck. Click for a much bigger version.
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4 Comments for “The Morning After Pill: Just How Your Mother Likes It”

  • Logic says:

    I would say that the Giants should trade Eli for Brady Quinn and some RB/LB talent, but the Browns don’t have any…

  • WhiteSpeedReceiver says:

    If you ever say anything bad about Rooney while he’s playing for United again, I’ll kill you and feed you to a moose.

    • gally says:

      I can make whatever footy comments I want. My team chokes nearly every year. And they try to outspend everyone also.
      /shakes fist
      //not again Chelsea


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