Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Saturday May 21st 2011

Stephen A Smith vs. Dan Levy And Blogfrica

This post originally aired last week, but was lost when our host jiggled the cables going to our server

If you know me, and follow me on Twitter you know that I have a very long history of messing with celebrities.  What happened yesterday was different.  Way different.  I didn’t start it, and I know I sure as hell didn’t end it.  Dan Levy has a grudge with Stephen A. Why? The same reason as everyone else does. He’s a shitty writer/tv personality and radio host.  The only difference between you and Dan Levy is that Levy has an audience of people who listen to him.

I have no similarities to Dan Levy.  He’s smart, can form coherent sentences and people WANT to hear his opinion on sports.  I make prison rape jokes and get drunk, shirtless in the day time on weekdays.  If anyone is the villain in this situation, it’s me.  Dan Levy would be Superman and I’d be Lex Luthor and Stephen A. would probably be the bank robbers at the beginning of the movie that Superman bends a light post around so the cops can catch them (PJ Diaries is Wonder Woman).  This is how different we are, except in this analogy, Dan Levy is the smart one and I’m the one who can make his cumshot as strong as a shotgun blast.

Stephen A. Smith tries to make himself sound like an “Joe Everyman” but in reality, he’s a a fraud.  He has an accent from the Bronx but he’s from Hollis.  Queens is like the little sister of the five boroughs, Stevie.  Lately, Joe Everyman is getting a little upset about people making fun of his work.  Maybe feeling insecure?  Or maybe realizing that the horseshoe in his asshole is falling out because he’s been struggling lately.  Now he might have a nice little morning radio show, but I remember when he was fired from ESPN radio.  It was heaven on earth.  No longer did I have to hear about racial issues on my lunch hour.  No longer did I have to her him thumbing through a thesaurus when he talked.  Then, he rose from the ash like a phoenix just to piss me off again.

Well here are his two tweets to me.  One and Two.  I didn’t really get involved.  I tried to push him further than he’d like to go but it didn’t work.  Mostly because I didn’t get back to him until hours later when he probably quit.  Levy schooled him and PJ Diaries was letting him have it as well.  I think I even saw Billy Bearcat in there.

I just don’t understand what this guy does with his time.  He is able to go through all of his @replies and “pick out the haters” and take shots at bloggers all day?  Man, he lives the good life for someone who is almost full retard.  I had to tweet him back in between getting screamed at by my boss, a chiller almost exploding and mopping the floor but whatever.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: “Hey, Steven…if you really grew up in Hollis, you’ve probably been in a fight or two.  What’s the one rule about fighting?  Always fight up. The little guy has nothing to lose.  If he beats you, you look like a dick.  If you win, you look like a dick for picking on the little guy.  Learn the lesson that almost burnt Bill Simmons, don’t fuck with us.  Dan Levy is much smarter than K.O.  For starters, he stays in his element.  Dan Levy isn’t running for mayor…yet.”

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  1. Goodbye, Dan Levy

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