One of the contributors at this site, PJD is getting married this weekend. So congratulations to him on that. But before he takes the big plunge, I would like to pass on some helpful tips courtesy of some stand up comics.
First up we hear from Rodney Carrington:
The key to this one is right out of the gate:
Never start a sentence with the words “You’re fucking mother.”
I think that one is pretty self explanatory, and unless you are looking for divorce, no sex, or to have all your things end up on the lawn by nights end, try avoid saying that at all costs.
Next up we have Chris Rock
From here we learn that being married you are now going to have a boring life. Sharing awful stories about your daily barbeques, and the routes you take to work. Leave that at home with your other married friends, we don’t want to hear about that shit. We are exciting, successful people at this blog, don’t bring us down with your boredom.
Jeff Dunham and friends stop by with sage advice:
Marriage is like a slurpy; it starts off great, then you realize it’s cold and full of headaches. Enjoy dealing with her constant mood swings, and times where she runs your ass over for no reason at all.
Finally we wrap things up with some words from Dave Chappelle
Unfortunately embedding was disabled on this on, so click here and the video will open up in a new tab.
This is your ultimate test. And as Dave Chappelle suggests: Don’t try fucking your wife in a cardboard box, it’s not going to happen.
So there it is, just a few helpful hints on how to manage your marriage and make it a successful one. Good luck with headaches, trying to avoid pissing her off with things that you had no idea would. Don’t come back here and bore us to death with your stories about your daily trips to Home Depot to buy fucking curtains. Good speed, and good luck.
All kidding aside though, congratulations to both you and your bride to be, I wish you both all the best. Enjoy everything about it. Cheers.
Aaaaaa, I see what you all did here. Thanks. News to me about the cardboard box. Guess that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years?
Years later, he reads this blog post and asks himself, “Who the fuck buys curtains at Home Depot?”