- Looks like he's trying to squeeze one out, no?
I’m no baseball expert, so anything you read about what I write here in relation to this Stras-us Christ is probably wildly off the wall and obnoxious, but you’re not here to get box score numbers, are you? No, you’re here to read how much of an idiot I am and defend your new baseball God vehemently. So let’s get to it.
- Damn sneaky he is
Rookie Washington Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg made his major league debut yesterday against the Pittsburgh Pirates (Note; not Somali pirates), probably the best team to go up against in your first outing. Except for the Minnesota Twins when the bases are loaded of course. He put in a very impressive outing for his first showing, dubbed “Stras-mas” by the 30,000 people nationwide that still follow baseball, by striking out 14 batters, going seven innings deep, and only giving up two runs on a two run dinger. Not bad rook, but here’s the problem:
Strasburg went 0-2 when at the plate, clearly showing that he is an inferior hitter to everyone else. I was at Melky Cabrera’s major league debut, and even HE was batting like .500 at the end of the day. Sure, Strasburg is a pitcher and Melky is/was a poor utility outfielder that was theoretically supposed to hit the ball, but if this Strasburg kid is as great as people say, couldn’t he at least bunt for an infield hit? Drop a bloop single? Mind control the ball over the wall for a home run? Nope, none of this. Just a fat donut in his at bats. Golden Tate would approve.
So color me unimpressed, Strasburg and DC fans. Until you can produce an all-purpose Jesus like character that can pitch, bat and sell concessions in the same top half of an inning, I’ll stick to not caring about baseball, which really, I’ll probably do anyway. Until October, at least.
But even then …. No, no I still won’t care.
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