Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday February 9th 2012

The Chris Henry Brain Disease Lesson

A tremor shook the NFL landscape yesterday as the results of former Bengals wide receiver, the late Chris Henry, autopsy were reported. In the findings were indications that Henry, who died in a tragic car accident December 17, 2009, was already suffering from a form of chronic brain disease called chronic traumatic encephalopathy. These results come at a time when the NFL is too slowly forcing the light on the violence of their own sport, addressing concussions and head injuries in a game played between human weapons. Players around the league were shocked, and voiced their concern, both for Henry and the state of the game.

“It’s truly frying grease that the NFL would allow such ex-squeezingly talented players to continue in such a caveman ear attitude when add dressing life correcting injuries while playing this marmalade game” Said former running back, Emmitt Smith.

“Every day you see players put their necklaces on the cutting board for seven points, except for when they’re a deaf fence athlete who doesn’t score, never knowing that this day could be their final moment in the sunlight, unless they play in a domed stadium.” He continued. “While we like to think football is all fun and Nintendos, it’s just not. It’s as simple as a rubrics cube; you figure it out or you may end up buried six inches under.”

Many former players chimed in with their thoughts, including current ESPN analyst Mark Schlereth, who played with the Broncos once, if you haven’t heard. “I’ll tell you what, when we were playing, we didn’t even think about these types of injuries. We didn’t think at all! Does that mean that players never got them? No. Does that mean that when I was playing with the Denver Broncos that I sat out a game? Of course not, brother! I’m a man! And I’d tell the same thing to players like Brian Westbrook who can’t suit up after injuring his appendix! Hey! It never did anything to ruin my brain, now did it? Oh, and buy my Stinkin’ Good Green Chili!

While it’s frightening to think that each player you watch on Sunday may be sustaining brain injuries, or that with each bruising tackle they may be in the initial stages of brain disease, some former players don’t seem so surprised. “Hey, just look at Jamarcus Russel. He was ruined before he even got to the league. Why the hell do you think I left so early?” said Barry Sanders.

Whatever the feeling, from players or fans, we can all appropriately remember Chris Henry by taking this knowledge forward and making sure that athletes are better protected, and informed, about brain injuries in the future. Hopefully, it will prevent any more tragedies.

Unless something were to happen to Brett Favre. That’d probably be fine.

Popularity: 1% [?]

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Share

No related posts.

One Comment for “The Chris Henry Brain Disease Lesson”


Leave a Comment

More from category

Logic is interviewed on the NFL Season
Logic is interviewed on the NFL Season

Host: Welcome! Welcome one and all. We haven’t had an interview with our pseudo-celebrity guest, [Read More]

Ines Sainz: Another Girl Who Wants Attention- The Ultimate Photo Gallery
Ines Sainz: Another Girl Who Wants Attention- The Ultimate Photo Gallery

One thing I think we can all agree on is Ines Sainz is sexy. And I have the Ines Sainz hot sexy booty pics to prove it. [Read More]

The Roast of Brett Favre

Logic: Hello, I’m Logic and I’ll be your Roastmaster General tonight. I welcome you all, and for those of [Read More]

From the Desk of the Beck U. Athletic Director
From the Desk of the Beck U. Athletic Director

Alright gang. Perhaps you’ve heard- I’ve started a university. And I have news- we’re playing a full [Read More]

Teenage Girls Are The Worst
Teenage Girls Are The Worst

This summer I was not planning on coming home from college, but a last minute change in plans ruined all that, and as a [Read More]

Insider

Archives