Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Wednesday May 23rd 2012

JaMarcus Russel is Stupid/Ironic

If you haven’t heard yet, JaMarcus Russell was arrested in his Alabama house yesterday. It’s been all over the internet/ESPN and probably even your local newspapers. You should get out more, I’m starting to worry about you, man.

Back to the story, Russell was arrested on possesion of codeine syrup or in the drug world “lean”, “purple drank” or “sizzurp”. I’m not saying I know what it’s about but I’ve heard from friends that they call it that because it makes you feel like your “leaning”. Often people, who aren’t me, would use this syrup and mix it with Sprite then drop flavored candy like Jolly Ranchers in the bottom. I’ve heard it can be delicious and it’s almost like a mixed drink. I wouldn’t know though, when I broke my jaw (and had it wired shut), my cruel doctor prescribed Vicodin the size of horse tranquilizers that I had to fit behind my molars. Until my wisdom teeth started growing in literally days after. Sometimes life is just not fair, but I digress.

Russell had been cut by the Oakland Raiders and was in the process of looking for a job. It’s a sad story because he should have never even been a #1 pick and we all knew the Raiders were the only franchise dumb enough to take him. If he doesn’t play football ever again he will probably go down as the biggest bust of all time. Start crossing your fingers, Ryan Leaf.

Christmas Ape of KSK had a great joke on twitter saying that Russell was arrested with a drug called “lean” and he was looking for a drug called “accurate”.

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