Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Wednesday May 23rd 2012

Lebron. Seriously. Lebron.

June 14, 1998

I only know the date because I looked it up, but what it signifies is more important. That night, Michael Jordan hit his last shot as a Chicago Bull, and the NBA would never be the same.

Look where we are now. Ask yourself how you can be an NBA fan at this point. Lebron, who had been generally a good guy until the last few weeks, went heel. Kobe’s always going to be Kobe. Kevin Durant is a decent guy, but plays for the team that ripped out Seattle’s heart. The entire GM, ownership and coaching structure has been proven irrelevant in personnel decisions. This has ceased to be something the fans remotely matter in, they just happen to pay the bills.

The blame lies all over the place. David Stern lost control of the league years ago, and only gains power when his most popular players allow him to do so. All this time of a league that was so focused on superstars- letting them travel, giving them calls in the paint, all of it- was bound to lead to this, and no one seemed to see it coming. ESPN ceased to be a sports news network and became a PR mouthpiece (something that happened in the “Bonds on Bonds” era). The dichotomy can be laid out with two of the “30 for 30” titles from ESPN- “Straight Outta LA” and “The Two Escobars”. The latter was an unselfish, fair account of what happened and why it happened. The former was a navel gazing equivalent to Ice Cube blowing himself on national TV. Somewhere, ESPN moved from Column A to Column B. The players union in the NBA is the opposite of the NFL’s- almost too powerful. The players themselves are too powerful, and generally too oblivious or too apathetic to do anything about it. People that used to be there to guide the players- agents, coaches, trainers, teammates- have been replaced with high school buddies, yes men and various other people that never force young boys to become young men.

We don’t get off scotfree. We, as sports fans, did this to ourselves. We followed someone from age 15 and wonder why he has an inflated sense of self. We consumed what ESPN fed us in spectulation of where Lebron would go…as far back as two years ago. And even if you didn’t (in which case, shut the hell up on Facebook and Twitter about how you don’t care, you’re worse than the story itself. I can find 10 people that care about Lebron. I can’t find one that cares that you don’t. Die.), there’s enough people that do. It’s why Joe Buck has a job. It’s why we get glowing pucks and talking baseballs. Lowest common denominator doesn’t just give us “Daisy of Love”, it gives us the soap opera we saw and the coverage of it. Maybe all of us aren’t guilty individually, but as an entire group, we are.

The blog posts will happen in the coming hours. How this would never happen in [insert sport here]. How this completely changes sports in America. How [insert douchebag here] doesn’t care and is (paradoxally) now rooting against Miami all next year. If you think this can’t happen in another sport, you’re kidding yourself. Pandora’s box is open, there’s no closing it back up without dramatic reform- which won’t happen. Lebron didn’t change anything, he was just the last piece falling into place.

On June 14, 1998, MJ hit his last shot as a Bull. With the aid of an uncalled offensive foul. Because he’s a superstar. The bed was made long ago. We’re just now sleeping in it.

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