Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday May 23rd 2013

How to successfully text dong pictures

Poor Brett Favre.  His adventures in reproductive organ image transference appear to have gone horribly awry, and now everyone in the world (including his wife!) knows about it.  So where did he go wrong?  Well, that’s why I’m here to help today.  With the WSR method, you too can successfully send dong pictures to unsuspecting women (or men, Gally)!


1) Be in the same age range.

Brett’s first mistake was sending pictures to someone half his age.  They’re going to be disgusted by it, unless you’re Roger Sterling.  Really, the only way you should be sending cock shots to anyone who isn’t within about 3-5 years of your age is if it’s a woman who’s about 15-20 years older than you.  But for this piece, we’re not going to get into advanced technique.


2) Timing is everything.

Once you’ve got the right target, you need to pick the right time.  Realistically, you need to know when they’re going to want to be looking at a phallus.  That’s why I recommend sending your picture at between 12:45 am and 2 am on a Friday or Saturday.  She’ll probably be out drinking, and that’s the ideal time to strike.  Whatever you do, don’t send some picture on a Monday afternoon of you manhandling yourself while sitting around wearing just a pair of crocs.


3) Make sure you have the right equipment.

Really, the last and most important thing is the one you probably have no control over.  If you can take a picture of your junk and you don’t need to lean back to get it all in the frame, you’re too small.  Delete the picture, and forget everything else you read here.


If you follow these easy steps, you too can embarrass yourself for one and only one person.  But any mistake with any of these steps could lead to national infamy.


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