Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Tuesday July 19th 2011

Last Call: The Fuck You Edition

Really?

I fucking hate people. I really do. Something of immeasurable personal wealth, but of limited monetary wealth was stolen from me. Fuck you, you assholes. I’m broke too, go on welfare you fucking cock fags. Eat a bunch of used tampons, they’re full of protein after all. But basically what I’m saying to you loser assholes is go die in a snowstorm on Hoth. And a big fuck you to you.

Musical Interlude:

Recycled Cheesecake:

I guess?

More Recycled Cheesecake:

Eastwood, RAWWRR

Linkage:

Empire Avenue: This is a pretty cool little social media project/experiment. You buy “stocks” in fellow people and companies, and earn dividends based on their accounts. Your account goes up based on the volume of people buying your shares as well as social media actions like tweeting, updating Facebook, updating Flickr and activity on the site. By the by, shares in e(Gally) are rising fast and I have huge dividends….
Hardball Times: Jonah Keri ponders what Simpsons characters are analogous to MLB teams. Fuck being a Jays fan.

Musical Outerlude:

Outro:

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Related posts:

  1. Last Call: The Tardy Tard Edition
  2. Last Call: The Holy Balls I’m Tired Edition
  3. Last Call: The Something Something Edition

33 Comments for “Last Call: The Fuck You Edition”

  • Sculptor?!? says:

    What do you mean, “I guess”? With the appropriate protection (hazmat gear, disinfecting shower, UV light, double (or even triple) bagged wang), I think you *might* not catch anything.

  • semper_ubi_sub_ubi says:

    OKC – is that the cannon (full of Cockburn) that the Canadian made at the beach?

  • Nonpopulist says:

    I can never imagine Eastwood that young. Unpossible.

  • Sculptor?!? says:

    And Gally, what on earth happened? Email me if you don’t feel like putting it out here.

    • semper_ubi_sub_ubi says:

      For my teaching I have a group of 80 students for a listening and speaking class (80 minutes long). My first class is this evening. I was stressing out about it and then I talked to another teacher (new here but with 4 years experience in Canadaland) and she’s showing the first episode of Friends.

      I haven’t checked out the classroom yet, so this plan might have to be aborted (does it have a working computer that can play the episode I downloaded last night?) but…

      I’m going to show ep. 1 of Mad Men and then get them to discuss the characters in groups and make up some questions for the class. It could be a total failure, but that is something that I’ll decide after I try it. I think that Mad Men gives so much to talk about because of its characters.

      Thoughts?

      • Sculptor?!? says:

        I dunno about MadMen, is it something that would translate (ideologically) with them? I’d try to find something more “iconic”, even if it’s old. Dallas, for example. Humor does not translate well across culutural barriers (and the Eastern mind works completely differently than the Western one), so I’d leave off comedies.

        • semper_ubi_sub_ubi says:

          hmm, I don’t know Dallas at all. (all I know was that my aunt gave us a game for our commodore 64 called Dallas (the same) and I always ended up not being able to figure out anything right off the start and always end up dying). I was also 12 at the time.

          I think that humour might work – especially if it’s as bland as Friends (they have probbaly watched something like it anyway). Arrested Development (or monty python, or seinfeld) would probably be a complete and utter failure.

          With the drama, it would help if a) it’s newer so I can download it or even better find DVDs. I figured that I’d stay away from the Wire because it’d be too hard too understand and even more foreign.

          • semper_ubi_sub_ubi says:

            oh yes, and I’m still open to other suggestions. Especially if you happen to think of something more iconic.

        • gally says:

          Dallas is actually a pretty good idea.

  • Old King Clancy says:

    Equating teams to television or movie characters? I don’t think anyone’s ever done that before.

  • Old King Clancy says:

    I’m highly enjoying watching back episodes of the too-good-to-not-be-cancelled yet horribly named Better Off Ted. In addition to be hilarious, whoever this woman that isn’t Portia Di Rossi is is ridiculously hot.

  • Old King Clancy says:

    Gally, I just watched the pilot of Terriers today on Sepinwall’s rec. Highly enjoyed. Looking forward to more.

    • gally says:

      So good. Also check out the new Nikita. The essential plot is now a cliche, but the execution was fantastic.

      • Old King Clancy says:

        I’ll see if I can check it out online. I skipped it b/c it’s been done to death and I was never really a fan of any of the adaptations. But I trust your opinion.

  • Old King Clancy says:

    You know the Jets over-love has reached critical mass when I’m actually rooting for Stabby and the Ravens.

    • Sculptor?!? says:

      I’m torn. I want the meteor, but so much of NJ tax money is invested in that stadium that I don’t want it damaged. Neutron bomb instead? Sigh.

  • Old King Clancy says:

    So I was in a Steeler bar yesterday and was joking with a friend that if I wanted to skip on the tab, I’d just crack a Big Ben rape joke and the whole place would throw me out. The first rape mention I heard was over my shoulder by a very attractive Steeler fan and I turned and said, “Well, I’m glad you said that because I thought that’s what would get my ass kicked.” She seemed to think most of the Steelers faithful had turned on Sir Rape-alot and she definitely knew her football, which was super-hot. I’m not sure I believe her, but I don’t know enough Steeler fans to substantiate that claim.

    The bar was actually nice to me considering I had on my Skins jersey. The majority is rooting for McNabb to stick it up the Eagles’ ass this year. I said I had no beef with the Steelers either so we’re cool. (Truth is I don’t like the Steelers, but I try to return kindness with kindness).

    • Sculptor?!? says:

      Meh, they’re only true lunatics if you’re rooting for: the team they’re playing that week; the Browns; Bengals; or the Stabbies.

      • Old King Clancy says:

        Sad part is I might go back for another Steeler game to chercher la femme. I’ve had a good streak of bad/unsuccessful dates lately. Why not try to add another? (Not having a job and not having facial and corporeal reconstructive surgery probably aren’t helping my cause).

    • Max Power says:

      OKC – I would definitely say that people here in Central PA have turned on Roethlisberger. Now, I’ll believe it when I see it after he leads a 4th quarter comeback and everyone doesn’t forgive him instantly.

  • gally says:

    So I’m doing the whole install computer systems at a Home Depot tonight and the most ridiculously hot ~25 year old woman is working here tonight…

  • Old King Clancy says:

    There is a grown man on TV wearing a hat in the shape of a stuffed plane. I’m just saying.

  • Martin says:

    Perhaps said 25 year old will drive to you. Use the old “Head injury, have trouble driving at night, so I just don’t drive” excuse.

    Also, while watching Rivers have a hissy fit for the third time tonight on the field, my non-football watching usually friend said “Oh, so that’s why the internet says he’s a douche.”


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