HBO’s True Blood has garnered a reputation as one of television’s raciest shows, and rightfully so: It’s rife with copious amounts of sex graphically depicted on screen (that last line almost sounds more at home in a letter written by an angry mom to the network). Not just any old sex, either: There’s chicks screwing vampires, guys screwing vampires, vampires screwing each other (this scene of Vampire Bill banging another vampire is possibly the most unintentionally funny thing ever put to film), dudes banging dudes, dude vampires banging dude vampires…you get my point.
The one place the show has played things strangely conservatively, however, is with the various shape-shifters that inhabit the show. There are werewolves, werepanthers, weredogs (I’m still holding my breath for a werewhale), yet any time they’re shown getting it on, it is invariably in human form. As the French say, “Le WTF!” You’re telling me that, if you had the power to turn into a wolf at will, you wouldn’t morph into one mid-coitus as a joke to freak out a girlfriend you were about to dump? Any time I see the shape-shifting Sam Merlotte getting some, the thought of him delivering the line “How about some real doggiestyle?” with a straight face right before he morphs into a canine consumes me. So how about it, HBO? You ready to give me my 15-dollars-a-month’s worth? Ya stinkin’ puritans…
- Bow Chicka Wow Wow
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