The 2010-2011 NFL season is so close, bitches. NFL fever is heating up like a rapist’s breath on your neck. As the cheesy-ass NFL Network ad reminds us everyone has high hopes for now. Every NFL team is 0-0 with a chance of winning it all, or so you think. I have some bad news for you all. Your team is going to suck this year. There’s only one team that wins the Super Bowl every year. Everyone else just sucks. Some NFL team fan bases already know their favorite team is going to suck. They will tune in to see how their team will suck specifically this season, though. I will be sharing my insights as to why your team is likely to suck on a division-by-division basis. Next up, the NFC South.
Why the Atlanta Falcons will suck this season:
The Atlanta Falcons may have a good season. This is another team I have a hard time being pessimistic about. The Falcons are a running team, and Michael Turner is expected to have a productive year. This is quarterback Matt Ryan’s 3rd year, the year things come together for good NFL quarterbacks. Matt Ryan is a good quarterback. I think the defense will be steady, maybe even above average. I am struggling to find any negatives on this team. The secondary is not a sure thing.
Prediction 11-5
Why the New Orleans Saints will suck this season:
The hardest thing to do in professional sports is to repeat as Super Bowl champions. Cliches, like stereotypes, are often there for a reason. There’s no way the New Orleans Saints will repeat as Super Bowl champs. They don’t have a Super Bowl hangover because they are still drunk. And really who blames them? The franchise has been so bad for so long that I do not fault them one bit for enjoying their Super Bowl glory. I’m not saying the Saints will completely suck. I think they will have a winning season even, but no Super Bowl.
Prediction 10-6
Why the Carolina Panthers will suck this season:
The Panthers finally got rid of Jake Delhomme, but they have unproven virgin Matt Moore at quarterback to start the season. Opposing teams will be playing the run knowing the Panthers will be trying to hide Moore from big scary defensive lineman and linebackers. Head coach on the perpetual hot seat John Fox seemed lost last season, and does anyone honestly think this team has improved? Don’t try to throw up Steve Smith either. He will be double-teamed, and the offensive line will have to protect Moore long enough for him to even throw the ball in Smith’s direction. I’ll also be a famous writer one day. Now I’m just listing things that will never happen.
Prediction 5-11
Why the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will suck this season:
Tampa has a young QB, a young coach, and not much talent. They are a no brainer to finish last in this division. Seriously, I don’t even want to think about how bad the Bucs will be this year. And don’t even think about picking up any of the Buccaneers players for anything fantasy football-related unless you play in a punter league. That guy will see a lot of action.
Prediction 2-14
Popularity: 1% [?]
Related posts:
