Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Saturday May 21st 2011

I’m Burnin’ For You: BLOODSUGARSEXCANNON!!!!!!!

(via KSK)

Hey, I said next week’s upcoming holiday blowout massacre Cockburn-a-palooza was going to be epic. And I’m a man of my fucking word. Gentlemen, put that Cockburn on ice because it’s going to be legen … wait for it … dairy. (And yes, it says “dairy” on purpose. Start your thought engines). And ladies, your “I’m coy, I’m hot and cold, I’m poker-facing” routine isn’t nearly as cute as you think it is. In fact, it’s not at all. You will bow before the majesty of the Sex Cannon! We’re playing for draft position, baby! COCKBURN AHOY!!!!!!!!!!

Goddamn, the Skins suck.

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Related posts:

  1. I’m Burnin’ For You: A Merry Cockburn Christmas Special
  2. I’m Burnin’ For You: Old King Clancy Watches the Skins-Giants Game
  3. I’m Burnin’ For You: Old King Clancy Watches the Skins-Bucs Game

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