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Wednesday January 25th 2012

Rubetastic: The Gally Blog NFL Betting Guide- Divisional Round Playoff Picks Guaranteed to Lose

This is your weekly NFL betting guide written by the rubiest rube of all rubes, Nonpopulist. I have been making my own NFL lines since 2005, and while I am no expert I would rate myself as an above average prognosticator/ handicapper. The Rubetastic post will be a mixture of picking against Vegas lines, insight into why I think a line was set a certain way, what my own lines are and how I came to those lines, overall NFL betting trends I notice, apologies about being completely wrong the prior week, and a disclaimer that the post is all for fun and you assume all risk when betting on the advice of some jackhole on the internet.

Let’s see, last week I achieved the impossible, the seemingly impossible, as it were. I stank fingered a nun. I know, right? *Bro fives* I also picked each NFL game from Wildcard weekend wrong against the spread. I was on the wrong side of the bet each time. This should be the point at which you click away from this page or leave a comment calling me stupid. Let’s review my picks from last week that put me at a disappointing 0-4 for the postseason.

New OrleansĀ  -10.5 @ Seattle: WRONG. No one saw Seattle winning this game. I should have gone with my instinct that the spread was too big.

New York Jets @ Indianapolis -2.5: WRONG. Peyton crapped the bed in the playoffs again. I should have seen that coming.

Baltimore @ Kansas City +3: WRONG. My vision in which I saw Jamaal Charles running for a long touchdown and Kansas City upsetting Baltimore was partly correct but was obviously a product of Satan. I’ll get you for this, Satan.

Green Bay @ Philadelphia -2.5: WRONG. Mike Vick, you were supposed to be a Cinderella. You let me down.

Let’s move on to next week.

I shouldn’t have any confidence in my picks this week, but I do. I’m such an idiot. If you agree with any of these picks make sure you change your mind.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh -3: This game is a toss up. I give Pittsburgh the edge due to playoff experience. I guess I should say recent successful playoff experience. Flacco is still a liability.

Green Bay +2.5 @ Atlanta: I’d like to think Atlanta has a chance in this game. I do not think they should be favored, though. I feel pretty good about taking the dog when the dog has Clay Matthews, Charles Woodson, and Tramon Williams playing out of their mind. The Green Bay runnning game has gotten a lot stronger. In looking at the matchups I think Green Bay has the clear advantage in this game.

Seattle +10 @ Chicago: Seattle will carry over more momentum into this game than people think. I think I’m one of the few people who give Seattle a chance to win in this game. They have been inconsistent and not played up to their talent and potential this year in several games (the Oakland game comes to mind), but the Seahawks are firing on all cylinders now. The most important thing to consider in this game is Jay Cutler can implode at any time. Chicago’s defense should secure the win for the Bears, but not if they stay on the field the whole game because of offensive miscues.

New York Jets +9 @ New England: This looks like the easiest money to be made this weekend. I guess Vegas is depending on the Patriot honks betting on New England. I didn’t watch this line earlier in the week so I don’t know if the line has moved at all, but I know it would take a real homer or someone who listens to nonstop ESPN hype to bet the Patriots at -9

Let’s see how I do this week.

Sexy Disclaimer: This post is intended for entertainment purposes only. You assume all of your own risk when placing a bet either legal or illegal. Neither The Gally Blog nor the author assume any risk for any bets placed on advice or content contained in this post or on this blog.

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Related posts:

  1. Rubetastic: The Gally Blog NFL Betting Guide- The Championship Round Is Tight Like a Sex Euphemism
  2. Rubetastic: The Gally Blog NFL Betting Guide: Week 15, At Least We Have Cheerleaders
  3. Rubetastic: The Gally Blog NFL Betting Guide: Week 12, Huge Heterosexuals Edition

2 Comments for “Rubetastic: The Gally Blog NFL Betting Guide- Divisional Round Playoff Picks Guaranteed to Lose”

  • semper_ubi_sub_ubi says:

    Hey folks. I can work on a posting for you if you’d want (re stuff in China).

    By the way, had quite a girl incident too. It’s totally Last Call stuff. Let’s just say I was quite nasty, last call advice style, to the guy. Unfortunately, it happened because I didn’t just make it easy and punch him or at least talk to him, but stewed for a week. At least he showed himself to be better than I am and we’ve since talked things out.


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