Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday December 29th 2011

Goodbye, Dan Levy

Haha, remember that? Nice career, Dan!

First off, sorry for the hiatus. Blogging became less  and less of a priority to me as of late. Why? Mostly because I’m not good at it. Next order of business, Happy Cinco de Mayo. Where everyone drinks but no one admits to being Mexican!

And on to my reason for posting, not only did my good friend Monday Morning Punter (a.k.a. Punte) (a.k.a. Josh Zerkle) (a.k.a. Hater of Earth) leave my old favorite sports blog, With Leather but my favorite podcast that I was never on, Dan Levy has officially shut down the On The DL Podcast. Now this is old news to many of you…but I’m a famous comedian and I can’t get around to things as quick as I used to. Anyway, the point is Dan had an idea for the show where people make predictions on how they think they sports world will turn out in 2 years. I offered my predictions but sadly, none of them made the show….

*sobs in the corner*

Join me after the JUMP! *Tony Reali voice*

Starting off with MMA, Georges St. Pierre will lose to Anderson Silva and Silva will face Jon Jones in which Jon Jones wins and quits the UFC to fight crime.
Chael Sonnen’s real estate scheme will eventually reveal him to be a direct descendant from Lex Luthor.
The NFL lock out will end only if Chad Ochocinco is forced into retirement.
Brett Favre will make a come back with the Raiders…where Quarterbacks go to die.
Danny Woodhead will appear on the cover of Madden and the case will be fused from reinforced scrappy grit scraps.
Punte will become the voice of the Orlando Predators after a stressful fight with Megan’s Law.
The Marlins will win a World Series and then immediately sell every player to Boston, New York and Philadelphia so the owner can buy a Hummer that runs on the fans’ tears.
Brandon Webb will finally make a comeback in 2012 and will turn into a freakish Rookie of the Year slingshot like arm who throws a 102 mph fastball will be struck by his pitch after Joey Votto hits it right up the middle. Webb will shatter into dust and Votto will have to up his Paxil dosage. The whole tragedy will make Hamilton fall off the wagon and again blame a member of his coaching staff.
JJ Reddick will be punched in the face by a black NBA player for “all the racist shit he’s probably gotten away with at Duke”
The monsters from Space Jam will end up suffering a horrible death when they not only steal the powers of Isaiah Smith and Stephen Marbury but also their personalities.
And finally Stephen A. Smith will have a moment of silence for his arch nemesis (Dan Levy) stepping down and then talk for 238 days straight about what a good guy he was for doing it. Jason Whitlock will then follow, and re-block Levy for being a racist and forcing Smith to be silent on the issue.
There. Take that, world.

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