Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Saturday May 25th 2013

NHL Eastern Conference Preview, Part 1: Buffalo Sabres

It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.

Helping us preview the Lofty Sabres, is Andy Boron, the co-editor in chief of the excellent Sabres blog, Die By The Blade

What do you think the Sabres’ chances are in this year’s Eastern Conference Playoffs?

I’d say the Sabres have the same chance as Montreal, Columbus, or Florida. Which is to say none.

How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Sabres didn’t make the playoffs?

The NHL is probably thrilled that Buffalo didn’t make it – now they can still get the Western New York’s massive Nielsen rating numbers for hockey without having to open any of their playoff games with a shot of abandoned buildings coupled with the phrase “Welcome to beautiful Buffalo, NY!”

If the Sabres would have made the playoffs, would they be the most Calgary Flames roster to make the playoffs since ’89? Or ’86?

Tough to say, considering I was in preschool during the ’89 series. I will say that the news of Jerome Iginla possibly becoming available is exciting because it will allow the Sabres to continue their quest to put together the All Ex-Flames team they’ve been dreaming about. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the Sabres can get Feaster to throw in Tim Jackman as part of that deal too.

What needs to be done to get the Sabres into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? How about invading and sacking Ottawa?

Cheating, yes; sacking Ottawa, double yes. To make the playoffs next year the Sabres need a few things – they need to not set another franchise record for man-games lost to injury, but more importantly the right guys have to stay healthy – Miller, Myers, Ennis, Ehrhoff. The Sabres don’t have great depth, and those four guys proved this season that they’re the key to making this team click. Buffalo also needs more scoring, whether they bring someone else in, or rely on the fact that almost every forward had a career worst year in goals scored to turn that around. Couple that with the supposed improvement of young guys such as Ennis, Foligno, Hodgson, and Myers, and that’s a playoff team.

Remember Dominik Hasek? He was pretty awesome wasn’t he?

Yeah, that was great. Wait, did this interview just turn into an episode of the Chris Farley Show?[Wouldn't that be awesome?]

And finally, how do you think Lindy Ruff will prepare for the playoffs: The classic wings? Polishing off his resume? Or something more exotic?

Lindy will get ready for the playoffs by organizing his ties according to winning percentage. Which shouldn’t be too hard.

Thanks Andy!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Share

Leave a Comment

More from category

NHL Western Conference Preview, Part 2: Colorado Avalanche

It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you [Read More]

NHL Western Conference Preview, Part 1: Columbus Blue Jackets -

It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you [Read More]

Australian Open Men’s Championship Preview
Australian Open Men’s Championship Preview

Back when I wrote my Aussie Open preview, I had Federer over Djokovic in the final (before I knew what the bracket was. [Read More]

Australian Open Preview

First, I suppose an introduction is in order. I am Fetch, and I am an internet superstar a blogger. To drop in a couple [Read More]

Insider

Archives