It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.
Helping us preview the Colorado Avalanche is David, the managing editor of the excellent Avs blog, Mile High Hockey
What do you think the Avs chances are in this year’s Western Conference Playoffs?
While there still is time for Avalanche owner Stan Kroenke to buy the NHL and immediately decree that the top 11 teams in each Conference make the playoffs, time is definitely running out. That cash from the failed bid to buy the LA Dodgers is burning a hole in his pocket though, so don’t rule this one out completely.
How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Avs didn’t make the playoffs?
This is a trick question. The NHL doesn’t have any top franchises in the Western Conference.
If the Avs would have made the playoffs, would the ghost of Patrick Roy haunt them? Or would it be Jose Theodore’s?
More like the haunting moan of 3,000 empty seats.
What needs to be done to get the Avs into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? What about burning Vancouver to the ground?
Instead of burning Vancouver to the ground, I think it would be more fun to light a match 20 feet away from one of the Sedins and watch him drop to the ice in pain. Note: this only works if the referee can see him. Otherwise, he just sulks away quietly.
Do you remember when the Avs won the cup in their first year of existence? That was awesome wasn’t it? Do you miss the blood thirsty 90′s intensity of the Avs-Wings rivalry?
All of that on-ice nastiness took on a whole different meaning once Todd Bertuzzi failed to grasp just when to quit. Now you look back at the blood feud and you’re thankful no one suffered a career-ending injury. Oh, who am I kidding. Of course I miss the rivalry.
And finally, how do you think Joe Sacco will prepare for the playoffs: Cocktail weenies, wings, or strong beer?
Sacco is rumored to be getting a contract extension after winning two playoff games over three years in Colorado. With that in mind, he’ll probably be willing to spring for all three and maybe even through in some salted peanuts as well.
It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.
Helping us preview the Lofty Sabres, is Andy Boron, the co-editor in chief of the excellent Sabres blog, Die By The Blade
What do you think the Sabres’ chances are in this year’s Eastern Conference Playoffs?
I’d say the Sabres have the same chance as Montreal, Columbus, or Florida. Which is to say none.
How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Sabres didn’t make the playoffs?
The NHL is probably thrilled that Buffalo didn’t make it – now they can still get the Western New York’s massive Nielsen rating numbers for hockey without having to open any of their playoff games with a shot of abandoned buildings coupled with the phrase “Welcome to beautiful Buffalo, NY!”
If the Sabres would have made the playoffs, would they be the most Calgary Flames roster to make the playoffs since ’89? Or ’86?
Tough to say, considering I was in preschool during the ’89 series. I will say that the news of Jerome Iginla possibly becoming available is exciting because it will allow the Sabres to continue their quest to put together the All Ex-Flames team they’ve been dreaming about. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the Sabres can get Feaster to throw in Tim Jackman as part of that deal too.
What needs to be done to get the Sabres into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? How about invading and sacking Ottawa?
Cheating, yes; sacking Ottawa, double yes. To make the playoffs next year the Sabres need a few things – they need to not set another franchise record for man-games lost to injury, but more importantly the right guys have to stay healthy – Miller, Myers, Ennis, Ehrhoff. The Sabres don’t have great depth, and those four guys proved this season that they’re the key to making this team click. Buffalo also needs more scoring, whether they bring someone else in, or rely on the fact that almost every forward had a career worst year in goals scored to turn that around. Couple that with the supposed improvement of young guys such as Ennis, Foligno, Hodgson, and Myers, and that’s a playoff team.
Remember Dominik Hasek? He was pretty awesome wasn’t he?
Yeah, that was great. Wait, did this interview just turn into an episode of the Chris Farley Show?[Wouldn't that be awesome?]
And finally, how do you think Lindy Ruff will prepare for the playoffs: The classic wings? Polishing off his resume? Or something more exotic?
Lindy will get ready for the playoffs by organizing his ties according to winning percentage. Which shouldn’t be too hard.
It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.
Helping us cover the Columbus Blue Jackets, we brought blogger Brandon Moskal out of retirement to help us out. He is formerly of the KSK podcast, formerly a writer at Gunaxin, and occasional rambler at the unheralded Ramblings of The Unmotivated
What do you think the Blue Jackets chances are in this year’s Western Conference Playoffs?
Ouch. If “2 Broke Girls” can be a successful thing, anything can happen. Columbus should invest in the CBS laugh track to air during telecasts next season.
How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Blue Jackets didn’t make the playoffs? Do you think Bettman crying was a possibility?
The NHL is losing out on Columbus’ powerhouse TV ratings with the Jackets on the sidelines. On the plus side, the ratings for re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond are projected to spike. As for Bettman crying, that is always a possibility but mainly when Sarah McLaughlin cries about deformed puppies. To be fair though, who doesn’t tear up during that commercial?
If the Blue Jackets would have made the playoffs, would they have been the worst team to ever appear in the postseason?
Nope. The worst team to make a postseason was Germany making the Goodwill Games in D2: The Mighty Ducks. They were out-coached by the Ducks’ trainer and didn’t bother arguing when the Ducks’ goalie (yeah, I know, it was Russ) skated past center-ice for a knuckle-puck. Also, the play should have been blown dead when the goalie took his helmet off during play. Germany’s coach didn’t take issue with that either.
What needs to be done to get the Blue Jackets into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? How much cheating? Would creating Robocop and letting him loose in Detroit be an avenue you’d look at?
Real answer: To even think about playing in April, the organ-I-zation needs to fire GM Scott Howson and team president Mike Priest. Then and only then can a real rebuild begin. You cannot trust the people who got us into this mess to be the ones to get us out.
Fun answer: The Jackets will make the playoffs when Bettman forgets to send the schedule out to other teams and we finish the season 76-6 due to forfeits. We still lose six games to Detroit, even if they don’t show up.
Robocop is a fun idea and may actually be close to happening. According to Wiki, this is the first line of the plot summary: “In the near future, Detroit, Michigan is on the verge of collapse due to financial ruin and unchecked crime.” However, Robocop’s third directive is to “uphold the law”, putting squarely on the other side of the cheating issue.
Remember that one year they made the playoffs? Wasn’t that awesome?
I do remember that! It was fantastic until Game 1 started. There had not been that kind of buzz around the city since the last Buckeye football spring game.
And finally, how do you think Todd Richards will prepare for the playoffs: Cocktail weenies, wings, or meatballs? Polishing off his resume? Directing a series of Gonzo Porn??
Todd Richards will probably play golf. However, he’ll make club selections with the same fervor he selects goaltenders. He’ll keep reaching for his driver with a broken shaft, no grips, and dented club face. All of this despite that fact that he’s been crushing his 3 wood just as far off the tee. He’ll tell the other members of his foursome that’s he’s loyal to the driver because it’s been in the bag longer and is a veteran. He’ll eventually demote the 3 Wood to the AHL. Steve Mason is that driver.
Besides, who can touch his resume? 2009, HC of the Wild, 38-36-8; 2010, HC of the Wild, 39-35-8; 2011, HC of Columbus, 18-21-2. Better question: Who would touch his resume?
The Man pictured above is one Ueli Steck. He is not the most physically imposing man that you’ll ever come across, but his tremendous skill at mountain climbing brings up to the Rushmore of Manly Men. In 2008 after abandoning an attempt to climb Annapurna, he returned to base camp. Days later though, Spanish climber Inaki Ochoa de Olza collapsed during an attempt up the mountain, and Ueli climbed to try and save the man’s life, though it was too late. Think about that the next time someone asks for help moving furniture and you’re too lazy to help.
Anyways, I kind of rambled on there. Moving on. In 2003 climber Christoph Hainz did a speed climb in four and a half hours, which inspired Ueli(Warning, link in Swiss). In 2007 Ueli climbed the 13,025 ft Eiger mountain in three hours and fifty four minutes. Unsatisfied and knowing he had not reached his potential, he set out to make himself leaner, faster and stronger.
After receiving criticism on his record for using the route and hooks of a previous climber, he gave the climbing world a big eff you and threw up his middle fingers(figuratively, of course, he seems to be a really nice guy). Having already shed 9 lbs from his previous climbing weight, he decided to go minimalist in an effort to beat his time. He carried some energy gels, bars, crampons, ice axes and a climbing rope up with him as his only supplies. The rope was in case of emergency only and not intended to be part of his actual climbing procedure.
So with minimal supplies, and a sure heart, he set off in 2008 to beat his already record time of Eiger, this time with a film crew. He broke his own record by over an hour and he used no one else’s route or previously existing equipment. Ueli climbed the 13,025 foot tall mountain in an astonishing 2 hours and 47 minutes. With no real safety gear or precautions. In doing so, he has shown himself as one of the manliest men of being a man. Nothing you do will ever even approach what he accomplished. Below the jump is an utterly breathtaking 4 minute HD video clip that is a promo for the upcoming film, “Swiss Machine” by Sender Films. I recommend that you watch it on full screen HD for all it’s brilliant glory.
Welcome again folks to a Danger Guerrero presents the Gally Blog Podcast featuring Danger Guerrero and some other guys presentation. This week, we talk about The Super Bowl results and our MVP’s, Troy Polamalu, the NFL lockout, next season’s predicted NFL champions, a UFC 126 wrapup, a game of Sex Act or Hackers and as always, Danger Guerrero.
I think we’ve fixed the noise settings that plagued last week’s episode, but it’s still a work in progress so bear with us. Enjoy muchachos.
[Edit: Our feed is updating so I'll post the iTunes link once that has finished.]
Below the jump is the picture we rambled on about.
Last Call isn’t just a place for sexy people, cheesecake, hot music and the best links on the Internet. No, it’s a place for all you like-minded readers and commenters to congregate and hang out. Sadly it’s gone from the place where all the cool kids hung out after school to a place in disrepair that is neglected by the cool kids who are too cool to hang out. We’ll keep doing them, but they might get scaled back at some point in the future. Let us know if you have any suggestions.
Musical Interlude:
Linkage:
Oatmeal: The top 10 worst types of interviewees. The New Yorker: Paul Haggis was in The Church of Scientology for 35 years. He got out and wrote a billion awesome words denouncing it. The Oatmeal: Yeah, two Oatmeal articles in one day. Deal with it. This one is on the worst types of questions to receive in a Interview. Phys Org: Admit it, you’ve always wanted to know whether snakes evolved from land lizards or ocean fairing ones. Well, now you know the rest of the story. Fan House: All of the Super Bowl ads in one convenient place. Wooo media whore mongering. Warming Glow: Ufford interview’s the owner of the lovable Lobster Dog. If you don’t know what Lobster Dog is, you can kindly remove yourself form the premises. Mmkay? Salon: It appears that people are choosing sanity over sex by taking anti-depressants which often lower ones libido. Draft Day Suit: Tired of all the rambling about the Super Bowl? Well how about some ramblings about curling? Eh? Eh? Wink wink nudge nudge. Sarah Sprague: Did you miss any of Sarah’s amazing Super Bowl recipes? Well, here they are all in one convenient location.
Butterscotch Banana Cheesecake with Raspberry Coulis:(more…)
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Without further waiting, we present to you the debut Gally Blog Podcast. In this meandering episode, Phillip(@nonpopulist), Hugh(@THElogic) and myself talk about stuff. Mostly sports. We open with a shoutout to the mysterious @DangerGuerrero, move on to the Super Bowl, talk about Deadspin and then drift into random ramblings. We apologize for the length, but it’s our first time and we didn’t know what to expect. Enjoy and feel free to give us feedback..
P.S. I’m aware I sound like a husky 15 year old girl. No need to include that in the feedback.
Last Call isn’t just a place with the best links the Internet has to offer, sexy people and good music. No, it’s also a place to gather with like minded people and bitch about your day, rant about your favorite sports team or tell dirty jokes in the comment section. If you’re new here, welcome and stay away from the ficus. If you’ve been here before, you know the drill.
Musical Interlude:
Linkage:
Mashable: Why Social Media is bringing back the values of our Grandparents. Joe Posnanski: The Pro Bowl gets a bad rap a lot of the time. Joe talks about how he concurs that it doesn’t matter, but that he’ll watch it anyways. Wil Wheaton: Wil talks about why librarians are awesome, and why we should save libraries. Edmonton Journal: Apparently social networking leads to couples having sex sooner. 27bslash6: David receives terrible, terrible customer service and responds hilariously. Read Write Web: A graphical description of the Twitterverse. Phys Org: Research shows that there’s a biochemical reaction between music and emotion. Baltimore Sun: David Simon, the brilliance behind The Wire and others, responds to criticism from a top cop. Real Food For Life: Men married to smarter women live longer. Marc And Angel: 10 simple truths smart people forget. I’m assuming you assholes that read here are smart.. Playboy: It’s almost at the point where you can no longer vote for the lovely(and sweet) Shera Bechard(featured below) to be Playmate of The Year. You know, if you’re into attractive naked women or what have you.
White Chocolate Cheesecake with Cherry Gastrique:(more…)
The live blog will commence 30 minutes before the final starts, so show up here at 3AM EST when you get home from the bar for drunken, rambling tennis analysis. Then crack open a beer and enjoy the jokes
Last Call is a place to share the latest and greatest the Internet has to offer, as well as a place to converse with like minded degenerates. Enjoy
Musical Interlude:
Linkage:
The Oatmeal: How to make your online shopping cart much better. Or suck less. Trends Map: Are you on the Twitterz? Are you into socialogical experiments? Trends Map gives you live, real time information on who and what is trending in your city. Wonder Tonic: Haha. A real time feed of people tweeting their poops. Haha. Tweet Stats: I love this site. Love it. This page gives you graphs and charts of your tweeting. Very interesting. SB Nation: The venerable Spencer Hall gives us 43 can’t miss predictions about tonights BCS Championship game between Oregon and Auburn. Go Ducks. Houston Press: A list of the ten sexiest Texan’s. If you can make it past #7 without masturbating, you’re a far better man(or woman) than I am. Daddys Sugar Ball: Understanding Roger Goodell’s letter to the fans. Playboy: I don’t ask for much, but won’t you help out my Twitter friend, Shera Bechard, win Playmate of the Year by voting for her? It’s What I like: Possibly the sexiest, and hottest .gif of all time. Not for prudes.
