‘Competition’ Archive
Author: Nonpopulist Published: September 1st, 2010
“Come for the gift card, stay for the rape.”
Gally Blog denizens and people who heard about the $25 and came-a-clicking,
The NFL season is set to begin on September 9th, only a few days away. The only thing that can make the best sport in the world even better is being able to win money off of football betting and brag to your friends how you know more about the NFL than them or the bookies. The Gally Blog Pigskin ‘Em Contest is just such a sensual combination. The winner of the contest will receive a $25 Visa gift card as a prize. Tell your friends. All are welcome.
Here’s the breakdown:
- We will use the ESPN Pigskin Pick ‘Em Engine, the group is here.
- The picks will be made against the spread, not straight-up winners since that’s for pussies.
- Entries are locked meaning you may only enter/ leave the group before the season begins on Sept. 9th. This is done to prevent shenanigans.
- At the end of the season the winner of our group will be mailed a $25 Visa gift card that I will buy. If I win I will not buy a gift card.
In addition to this contest I will also be writing a weekly post revolving around NFL betting called “Rubetastic” or something else if I can think of something better. I have been making my own NFL lines for around 5 years, and while I am no expert I would rate myself as an above average prognosticator/ handicapper. The Rubetastic post will be a mixture of picking against Vegas lines, insight into why I think a line was set a certain way, what my own lines are and how I came to those lines, overall NFL betting trends I notice, apologies about being completely wrong the prior week, and a disclaimer that the post is all for fun and you assume all risk when betting on the advice of some jackhole on the internet. I do all my betting offline with a guy I call Jimmy Bags (like the character in The Departed.) He lets me call him that, actually. I choose to forget his real name. Also, he will talk in a 1920′s gangster voice if I ask. It’s the personalized customer service of Jimmy Bags that keeps me coming back.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: betting, Hey rube, Jimmy Bags, NFL, Rubetastic, scrilla
Category Competition, NFL, Recent |
Author: Logic Published: February 23rd, 2010
- Tuxedo Cat is dressed and ready for the draft.
If you haven’t noticed, I’m a blogger by convenience. Apparently I also say gay things, or so says a bunch of people who worship a purple team, have a sex slave as their avatar and someone who can’t stop thinking about wanking it. Not to mention the hottest blogger in Blogfrica! Pffttt. That’s like being the best suicide bomber at Pearl Harbor. I digress, my fantasy baseball season is about to begin with a draft on the Ides of March so I needed to do research. Which would make a good blog post. So you’re welcome, Internet.
There are many websites and experts in fantasy baseball with a lot to say and “keys to winning your league”, which you probably have to pay for. It’s really aggravating. Just like how Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay have jobs. I heard McShay in an interview, and he said don’t take Suh with the first pick…/sigh
Fantasy experts are retarded. I don’t even begin to beg you to take my advice, let alone pay for it like Matthew Berry. Hell, the guy has 200k followers on Twitter. I didn’t think rapidly balding dorks were “in”? The main difference between me and him is simple, I don’t encourage taking my advice. Actually, I encourage quite the opposite. I usually do miserable. I can’t predict injuries worth a crap. I had Grady Sizemore and Cole Hamels last year. In football, I had Peyton Manning on his worst year since his rookie season. Even when I draft perennial talent, they do bad. There is nothing you can control. This isn’t like being the banker in Monopoly. However, here is the strategy I’m going to follow this year:
Draft an infield first: Last year, I took two OF’s first. Grady Sizemore at 12th and Matt Holliday at 13th overall. It didn’t work out well. It was also my first year of fantasy baseball, so don’t kill me just yet. After this year, if I don’t improve…then kill me. Actually, I’ll commit seppuku. Well, the thing with taking outfielders as high picks is that the lower picked outfielders worked out better for the other guys. For instance, guys who drafted Ryan Braun, Carl Crawford or Jason Bay were much happier with their results than I was. This year, rather than reaching on guys like Ryan Braun, Carl Crawford, Matt Kemp (my top 3) why not draft a guy like Sizemore or Josh Hamilton coming off a down year? Or wait for a Zobrist or Adam Dunn. Those guys didn’t just lose their talent. Everyone is entitled to a down year. Also, See: Upton, BJ. (more…)
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Fantasy Baseball
Category Competition, Fantasy Baseball |
Author: Logic Published: January 7th, 2010
- Blogger. Canadian. CHAMPION.
And that’s that folks. The fantasy football year is over. Hopefully in some way your league decides who gets first pick for next year and you received it. That way, you can get Adrian Peterson or most likely Christ Johnson next year. Me? I’m going Tom Brady, Wes Welker, Randy Moss. Or something like that. In order of how they would get drafted, of course. I’ll probably have last pick in my money league and see where I land in this Blogger League. I finished in 6th place after a loss to Doktakra in the consolation game. But more importantly, we are still waiting on el Gimpo to eat his chicken fat.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Andrew Bucholtz, Fantasy Football, I am soooOoo showing up for the draft next year, The Rookies
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: December 22nd, 2009
- I'm Not Sayin' Nothin'. You Just Know.....
Man, that title just didn’t seem to stop. Ok, so Gimp had a semi-update on our fantasy league. I guess as Ernie Anastos says, “Keep fucking that chicken”. I was lucky Gimp didn’t start Ahmed Bradshaw. He was lucky I didn’t want to play the waiver wire and look for a WR because Braylon Edwards would’ve tempted me. Not to mention my RB trouble and Jerome Harrison having his career in a night. Now, for a quick playoff update from our league.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Andrew Bucholtz, Christmas Ape, Gally, Gimp, Logic, Monday Morning Punter, Sports Cloggers
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: November 11th, 2009
Hey all. Logic here. Sorry for the lack of writing. I know, you have been just miserable without me. Maybe you should get a hobby? I don’t know. You COULD use to lose a little weight too. Hitting the gym might help. Just saying…
Top Performers:
Kurt Warner- Had 261 yards and 5 touchdowns this week in a spanking over Chicago for Rob.
Ray Rice- Had a decent day 120+ total yards and 1 TD gave him 19 points for Punter and Brandon.
Greg Olsen- Doktakra started this man mountain who had 3 touchdowns from bad boy quarterback Jay Cutler. He also hurt Berstreet’s team. Is it weird that I know other people’s teams better than my own? Whatever. I’m dedicated.
Larry Fitzgerald- 123 yards and two scores. Fitz is a common player on Gimp’s team in this league. I have him in my money league. And Berstreet has him on her team. But that’s not the only thing we have in common. The other? Herpes.
Mike Sims-Walker- The fantasy breakout performance of the year goes to…MSW no doubt. Bucholtz, started him and MSW got him 20 points for the day.
Michael Turner- 166 yards rushing and 2 TDs gave Logic a nice week and 30 points.
Randy Moss- 147 yards and 1 touchdown plus 1 two point conversion was a nice start for Rob.
Frank Gore- 158 total yards and a score totaled to be 21 points for Flubby.
DeAngelo Williams and Joseph Addai had good weeks for Max. 161 total yards and 2 tds for Williams and 112 total yards and 2 tds for Addai.
Chris Johnson- 160 total yards and 2 TDs. This guy is on fire. It’s weird that the Titans can’t win a game with arguably the best runningback in the league. Imagine if he was still returning kicks?
Bad Starts
DeSean Jackson- He is totally killing Dok. Dok never knows when to start him and when to sit him and Jackson seems very unstable? Are fantasy player unstable? Or is that just molecules. Let’s move on.
Chicago’s Defense- I started these fucks and they gave me -1 points against Arizona. How weak is that?
Willie Parker- I guess he was MIA in the Pitt v. Denver game and Rob had him starting. It sucks for Parker owners because Mendenhall is having a break out year and isn’t looking to slow up anytime soon.
Willis McGahee- I predicted Willis McGahee would be good this year. He was awesome through the first 4 games. If you haven’t dropped him yet…DROP HIM. James Brown doesn’t check his team so I expect this from a guy like him.
Clinton Portis- You can’t predict injury. But still, he got .40 points for James Brown.
Bad Sits
Laurence Maroney- 87 yards and 1 TD was his stats for Bucholtz’s bench. Maroney is getting all the carries over in NE with the Fred Taylor injury. I’d be basking in the greatness he’s had in the last 3-5 weeks. I’m too lazy to check his actual stats.
Well that is everything that caught my eye. I have to go now and write a anniversary card for my girlfriend. I just hope it doesn’t come complete with rape jokes and spelling errors like my blogging. Or maybe that’s how I got the little lady smitten in the first place? I might be a genius. Hey, did I tell you about Alcomall?!?
Popularity: 1% [?]
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: November 3rd, 2009
Ok we are basically at the mid point of our Football Season which means we are more than halfway done with the Fantasy Football Season. I decided that I’m bored with just reprinting all the Top Performers and making fun of our league members that I talk to over the internet every single night yet they don’t change rosters for Bye weeks and what not. I’m going to take the top earners of the 8 weeks and you can compare with how you drafted and hopefully kill yourself. Actually, don’t kill yourself yet. Set up one of these birds on your mouse so that it keeps clicking “refresh” and then kill yourself:
- Your Parents Don't Even Love You
And please, before your inner taintstain comes out, realize that I don’t make the point scoring system for Yahoo and I’m not the commissioner of my league. I just click the sort button on “Fantasy Points” and write dick jokes. Don’t act like that’s not impressive! What do you do? Yeah. Sit there and eat Cheetos. You sow.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Breakdown, Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Competition, Recap
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: October 27th, 2009
I was trying to get involved with the influx of commentakke over at KSK, but it is busier than normal with Jim Zorn’s job on the line. It’s been said that he was just feeding pigeons on the sideline and using his headset to make sure his direct deposit went through.
A quick update on my money league fantasy team; it didn’t get fucked over by a top performer as much as it got fucked over by BYE weeks and the Bellichick RB committee carries to the wrong guy. Who’d have thunk that Kevin Faulk would get 3 touches after the 2 of the top 5 RBs are down? I’m glad I didn’t give my fantasy advice for the week, because I would have gotten you 5 points.
Anywho, my team in this league got beaten by itself. My top performer was a QB who threw for 5 TDs and 0 INTs and somehow managed only 29 points and Minnesota’s defense got me 0 points for the second time this year. Well, here we go…
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: October 20th, 2009
Once again my Fantasy Football Team went against a top contender (Ben Roethlisberger) and got screwed over. So in our fucked up league, the Special Teams touchdowns go to the Defense instead of the player… But the player still gets return yardage points? So I started Eddie Royal. Needless to say, he got my opponent 12 points for his return touchdowns and only 6 points for me.
You throw in the fact that Philadelphia ruined a $150, 3-team Parlay that I was going to hit if they could beat the worst team in the league by 2 TDs like the Giants did and the fact that the Jets knocked me out of my suicide pool. And Logic is not very happy. Oh and did we mention that Notre Dame, New York Giants and Yankees all lost within 3 days of each other? Yeah. I’ve been cutting myself since Saturday and our cunt crack team of writers has been reminding me of it all day.
Btw: I’m getting destroyed in this league as well due to BYE weeks. Just as a p.s.
Top Performers:
QB: Tom Brady- Owned by Punter and Brandon. Have you heard of Tom Brady? He’s this no-name QB out of Michigan who split time and got drafted with the 199th pick overall. He’s supposed to suck. Doesn’t he get it? Well he threw 6 touchdowns yesterday and 380 yards. Most of that in 1 quarter of football. Pretty much all of it before half-time.
QB: Drew Brees-375 total yards and 4 TDs for the near perfect Brees against the Gmen. Hope your real proud of yourself, Tunison.
QB: Ben Roethlisberger- 428 total yards, 2 TD and 1 INT for Shiancock.
QB: Matt Schaub- 392 yards 3 TDs and 1 INT for Dr. Kra.
RB: Ray Rice- Owned by P/b. 184 total yards and 2 TDs for their bench. HA! That’s what you get for being an important blogger and going to Las Vegas without me!
RB: MJD: 178 total yards, 3 TDs and 1 lost fumble for Andrew Bucholtz. Even though he still hasn’t listened to Uncle Logic and started Joshua Cribbs yet…
RB: Thomas Jones- 227 total yards and 1 TD in the pathetic loss to the Bills for Max Payne.
RB: dEaNGELO Williams- 172 yards and 2 TDs for Max as well.
WR: Randy Moss- 129 yards and 3 TDs in the brutal beat down of the Titans for Rob from WI.
WR: Marques Colston- 166 yards and 1 TD in the rout of my Giants. Owned by Flubby.
WR: Welkahhh- 150 yards and 2 TDs as the security binky for Tom Brady and Ape.
WR: Eddie Royal- Owned by Gally. This lucky Canadian some how started him in this league which DOES get points for return yards and TDs… So that’s twice I’m fucked with this one.
Bad Starts:
Miles Austin and Ronnie Brown- Owned by P/b. They both had Byes. These guys were in Vegas so fuck us right?
Steve Smith (Carolina)- Bucholtz- Got him 0.40 points in the run happy offense of the Panthers. Even though the Giants Steve Smith didn’t play well either, he didn’t play this bad.
Willis McGahee- Owned by James Brown. Earned him less than a point.
Matt Hasselbeck- Gimp… in the week of the QBs you manage to earn 1.68 points. You need a shit ton of ritalin and a fantasy guide my friend…
Nate Washington- Had -22 yards receiving for Punter and Brandon. They’ve made this list a lot today…
Julius Jones, Mercedes Lewis- Flubby, Jones had 5 yards for you. I have more ether rags than that. Lewis? Yep. 5 yards as well. Combined for a point.
Rob Bironas- Nailed 0 points for James Brown during the shut out in New England.
Denver- Somehow has -5 points for Ape even though they only gave up 24 points and have 1 sack. I don’t know what that’s about.
Bad Sits:
Ray Rice- Owned by P/b. He could have started for Ronnie Brown and he had 184 total yards and 2 TDs.
Jon Stewart (not the funny/handsome one)- Owned by Rob. Had his breakout performance of the year with 110 yards and 1 TD. Who was going to predict that? I sure as hell wouldn’t. But I needed to fill space. Sorry Rob.
Zach Miller- Maximus sat him during his 139 yard, 1 TD performance. He was most likely the sole reason the Raiders beat the Eagles. Well that and Andy Reid spilling mustard all over his play sheet.
Good Starts:
Eddie Royal- Gally lucked out with this one, in his otherwise unimpressive week against a poor wittle team with BYE week troubles. I guess every dog has his day. Maybe he’ll touch a boob soon?
Good Sits:
New York Giants- Flubby has the Giants and didn’t start them v. the Powerhouse that is New Orleans. Unfortunately, I’m not that keen of a fantasy player and started them in my money league because of that whole #1 defense ranking and all. So what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? Let’s just say something fucking moved.
Reggie Wayne, Marion Barber, Tashard Choice, Vernon Davis, Nacho Sanchez and Chansi Stuckey- Owned by Logic. Great sits for me. All combined for .36 of a point. (4 had a BYE, I just really wanted to make my own list).
Pick Up of the Week
This week I’m going with Tom Brady. If he’s open in your league… Grab this guy! Just kidding. No one flew under the radar this week and therefore I don’t have a pick of the week (Jermichael Finley didn’t have a break out week. He just played OKAY for Dr. Kra who did take my advice, which I like. P.S. More like JERKmichael, am I right Doc?)
Ok that wraps it up for me. Of course the Monday night game is still going on and if you didn’t start Eddie Royal or Darren Sproles you were a silly goose. Or in my money leagues’ case, Broncos and Chargers.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Just Plain Trash, Trash Talk
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: October 13th, 2009
- Funny... AND TRUE!!
Like always, my fantasy league that is for money has to get hit by an unstoppable force. (See: Week 1 Drew Brees or Week 4 Rashard Mendenhall), this week it was Michael Turner for 3 TDs, not to mention a Calvin Johnson injury and an Aaron Rodgers BYE. But here is the Sports Bloggers Fantasy Breakdown of Week 5. I decided to get all in-depth on your monkey asses because we’re almost a 1/3 of the season in.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Fantasy Football, Sports Bloggers, Trash Talk
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
Author: Logic Published: October 5th, 2009
Alright so I pretty much have claimed this weekly post as my own. I also made the boner move of the century (in my league for money) dropping Rashard Mendenhall for Glen Coffee which allowed my opponent to snatch him off of waivers and start him in time for the game for a whopping 33 points. I was winning 68-13 going into the SNF game. Now it’s 72-71 after his King Laserface/Mendenballsinmouth combo. So rip on me for that move no doubt, but also try to compliment me on the Coffee pick up. He had 12 points and I’m sensitive :(
Alright so back to the Sports Blogger League in which my luck isn’t doing much better. I’m against Shiancock who had a decent week despite a whole crap load of Bye Weeks due to a ATL/ARI heavy team. I’m up by a slim 15 points and he has Ryan Grant and Green Bay’s defense against my Minnesota Defense. My Fantasy Advice is much much better than my Fantasy Performance…
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Category Competition, Fantasy Football, Gally Blog Fantasy Football Competition |
