The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: The Raiders are once again proving to be incompetent. They’ve filed a grievance against JaMarcus Russell in order to try and reclaim $9.55 million in money paid to him for the next two seasons. The thing is, that was guaranteed money that they owed him as stipulated in his contract. JaMarcus ended up making $36.4 million over three years and is apparently still owed another $3 million.
NHL: Still no more hockey last night and again, there’s no more tonight. Nice move Gary.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
MLB: The Mets, who surely are a sign of the apocalypse or as I like to call it the Metspocalypse, shut out the Phillies again. 3-0. Winning a series completely by shutouts is by no means a common feat in this era. The last time the Mets did it was in 1969. Against the Phillies. It has been opined that the Mets didn’t have to face Halladay, but I think being defensive would not have helped the moribund offence. Albert Pujols hit his first homerun and drove in his first runs in 12 games, last night as the Cardinals beat the Padres 8-3. Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched an awesome game last night. Awesome for the schadenfreude it produced. He walked 8 batters, hit another one and threw a wild pitch for good measure. The Red Sox as a result lost 4-3.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: No Hockey again last night, or for that matter tonight. Thanks Gary.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
NFL: It’s officially a sad day. The best NFL news I could wrangle up without putting in any effort is that six of the Browns starters are skipping OTA’s in contract disputes. Suck it up guys. You play for the Browns. No one else in the NFL wants you. Basically, y’all are fucked.
NBA:The Celtics magically lost last night against the Magic, 113-92 Referee, Joey Crawford, called a shaky game and ejected Glen Davis. Many people were outraged and Simmons was, of course, bitchy. The general consensus though, is that creepy uncle Stern pulled his diabolical puppet strings and influenced the game. Oh, and Dwight Howard had 21 points and 10 boards.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: OMG! The NFL is going to have an open air, cold weather Super Bowl. The 2014 Super Bowl has been awarded to: the NY Giants/NY Jets, who with one of the newer NFL traditions, built a new $1.6 billion stadium and were rewarded with a Super Bowl. Blowing tax payer money has never been so enticing. Well, unless you’re Goldman Sachs. That’s a zing you see.
NHL: There was no hockey last night as the Stanley Cup Finals matchup between The Philadelphia Flyers and Chicago Blackhawks doesn’t start until Saturday. Yeah, 5 days between games. Nice move Bettman.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
So why then are we talking about Hockey? Well, did you think we were going to waste precious space with Basketball? Hahahahahahahahah. Oh yeah, Canadian hero and Detroit legend, Steve Yzerman, has been named the new GM of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Good luck Stevie, you’re going to need it.
MLB: Even though Steve Phillips, *cough*douche*cough* thinks that he’d trade Steven Strasburg for Roy Oswalt straight up, and Oswalt has asked for a trade, the Astros have no intention of trading him. Yet. Tough luck Dodgers fans. Carl Crawford was ejected from the game yesterday for trash talking. Seriously, here’s the words right out of his mouth, “It went back and forth. He didn’t want to back down, and I definitely wasn’t going to lose a trash-talking contest.” That guy who didn’t want to back down, the umpire. Also tossed for arguing with the ump, manager Joe Maddon. Sigh. Will athletes ever learn that arguing with the ref/ump/judge/whomever does absolutely no good? The ump is never going to back down in public like that. Never. In a clear sign that we’ve all died and are on the “Lost” style purgatory island, the Mets won last night. Over the Phillies. By a 9 runs. In a shutout. Having gave up 9 hits. I guess this is my sign to marry Blake Lively, as clearly miracles do happen.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. Today’s edition has been crafted by WSR, meaning the paper drafts reek of tears and whiskey. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
For the first time since they were swept out in the 1997 Finals by the Red Wings, Philadelphia is in the Stanley Cup Finals after downing the Canadians 4-2 at the Wachovia Center. The Flyers pummeled Montreal in 5 games, and will now get their ass handed to them by the Blackhawks. Game 1 is Saturday night on NBC, game 2 is Monday night on NBC, and Gary Bettman still sucks more cock than Chasey Lain.
The NBA sucks. It’s not even basketball anymore. People more astute than I will point out that it’s probably been that way for at least a decade now. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: So just like everyone else in the world, Vikings coach Brad Childress has no idea whether Brett Favre is going to retire or even have surgury on his “injured” ankle. It’s all good though, he wants us to know that him and Favre have been texting each other. Cool beans man, maybe now they can take it to the next step and go down to the soda shoppe and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.
NBA: The Kobe Bryant rape face was back in action last night and it wasn’t just any old edition, it was the prom night version. While the Suns double teamed him to prevent major damage in only kind of helped. Though he was held to 21 points he had 13 assists, many of which went to Pau Gasol who had 29 points. Jason Richardson had 27 points to help the Suns to a 112-124 loss. This was the Lakers 8th straight win and 10th overall at home.
NHL: Again due to Gary Bettman’s incompetence, there was no Hockey last night. Sure there are only two series left playing, but why play them back to back on the same night so the East coast doesn’t stay up to watch the Western Conference matchup? Dumbass.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: This a much better start then yesterday’s auspicious one, as we’re starting with a real sport. Yeah, hockey is a real sport even if it’s run by an incompetent weasel.
Or you know, get a huge raise
Anyways, last night both of the conference championship games were played. You’d think they’d spread them out so there was a game every night, but that just makes sense. The Chicago Blackhawks came into San Jose and won their 7th straight road game by a score of 4-2. The key to the game was San Jose’s inability to stay out of the penalty box. They had 22 minutes compared to Chicago’s 6. The Philadelphia Flyers on the other hand were arguably outplayed by the Montreal Canadians and still came out on top 3-0. The Flyers young goalie, Michael Leighton, has now become the third goalie to garner 2 straight shutouts to start the NHL conference finals.
NFL: In fantastically amazing news, a shitty QB leaving the NFL for the UFL and another is leaving the UFL for the NFL. Such drama and intrigue right? Well, Daunte Culpepper is set to join the Sacramento Mountain Lions while J.P. Losman is joining the Seattle Seahawks. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NBA: What’s this? Leading off with Basketball? These are some troubling times I tells ya. Start your hyperbole engines folks. Have you heard about this Kobe Bryant guy? I hear he’s kind of okay or something. Well ESPN tagged his performance last night as “Burning the Suns”, “going off”, and “erupting”. That sounds like they’re describing some kind of weird extra-solar sci-fi porno. And not the kind of porno that you’d actually want to watch or anything. Maybe PJD, but he’s weird like that. Anyways, Kobe scored 40 points while Lamar Odom had 19 points and 19 boards in a 128-107 whuppin. Thanks Steve Nash, thanks for giving America another reason to laugh at us.
MLB: Hahahahhaha, Boston, hahahahahhahaa, sucks, hahahahaha. Boston carried a 2 run lead into the 9th against the Yankees and lost in spectacular fashion. Jonathan Papelbon, who I will not refer to as Papelboner because we already have enough porn references going, gave up a one run HR to ARod and followed it up with a walk off 2 run shot by Marcus Thames. The collapse was completed and the Yankees won 11-9. Justin Morneau, Canada’s favorite Baseball son, kicked his country in the nuts last night. His 2 HR’s lead the Twinks to a 8-3 win over the Jays. Yes Hanley Ramirez is hurt to an extent, but he still played like a douche last night and got benched for it. When a ball landed near him last night in the second inning, he managed to kick it 100 feet into the outfield and jogged after it which allowed 2 runners to score. Video Herec (more…)
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: Logic’s number one favorite player in the NFL, Brady Quinn, is on the trade block? In an attempt to solidify their QB roster, they’re bringing in Jake Delhomme? See all those question marks? That means a story is legit, and will definitely happen.
MLB: Nomar Garciaparra signed a one day contract with the Red Sox so that he could retire as a member of the team. That’s awful cute Nomar, but did nobody give you the memo? Once you left the team, they won 2 World Series championships without you. For you counting at home, that’s as many as they won without me. Where’s my retirement plaque? Torii Hunter said that black Latino players are impostors. Just when I thought there was something interesting in baseball, Torii had to go and apologize and say that impostor was the wrong word.
NHL: The NHL powers that be decided yesterday that they were going to look into penalizing players for hits to the head. Having said that, they decided that Matt Cooke didn’t need to be suspended for his hit to the head on Marc Savard.
The stick and glove that Sidney Crosby used to score the Gold Medal winning goal, have been recovered. An investigation determined that they had both been misplaced rather than attempted stolen. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous days sporting news and events. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers. If you have something that you think should be here, contact our tipline at tips @thegallyblog.com
NFL: It ain’t easy being Breezy. Well, it might get a lot easier as he’s in discussion with the Saints for an extension and a raise. That sounds like they’re going to put him on some platform shoes and give him a penile implant, but I doubt that’s actually in the cards. OMFG, ROFLCOPTERBBQWTF Dwight Freeneey’s ankle is starting to feel better. Wake me when he’s the Super Bowl MVP. Actually, wake me at the beginning of the game so that I can see that event unfold.
MLB: Justin Verlander has signed a 5 year, $80 million contract extension with the Detroit Lions. Now’s your chance ladies. He’s young, rich and single dating someone not very attractive. Yeah, that little Asian girl next to him. Of course she’s little..
NBA: Phil Jackson became the winningest coach in Lakers history on the strength of 99-97 victory over the Bobcats. Phil did it without Kobe’s help as the mercurial guard was held to a measly 5 points. Come on, I could get 5 points. Rajon Rondo is hinting that there’smenstrual flow discourse in the Celtics dressing room. He said he wouldn’t really elaborate on the situation, so right now he’s basically just throwing shit against the wall. The Knicks crushed the Wizards 107-85 last night. I guess it’s time to cue up those presses making 2009-2010 Knicks championship gear. Oh, they’re 19-29? Never mind then.
NHL: In a move surprising to no one, the Blue Jackets have firedKen Hitchcock as their coach. Serves him right for taking one of the least talented teams in the league to one of the poorest records. What a dick. Superstar Ilya Kovalchuk has been informed by his team that he will be traded. Soon. One asinine report that I read said he was told he could be traded in mere hours. Looks like that projection was full of it. Magnetite, as he was way off course you see. The Edmonton Oilers shut out the Flyers as they scored with 17 seconds left to take the lead and pull out the 1-0 victory. After going winless in the month of January, the Oilers are now undefeated in the month of February. Can you say dynasty? Of course you can, if not you’d probably not be reading this.
Other: Yeah some other stuff happened. Lots of it.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days sporting events and goings on. Certain teams and or entire sports are often overlooked due to an extreme lack of caring or hangovers. Usually it’s the hangovers. If you know of something that should be here send us some tips at tips @thegallyblog.com
NBA: The clock is ticking for Michael Jordan. He now has until the end of February to match the offer of George Postolos for the team. Would he be a great owner? Mario Lemieux has turned out to be a great owner of the Pittsburgh Penguins, but that’s a different story as he played for that franchise his entire playing career. In the debut of “How is this even news” category, Javaris Crittendon has declined to appeal his suspension from the league. Well durr, he brought a loaded gun into the dressing room, chambered a round and pointed it at another player, but ESPN is running it as news so I thought I’d share because I’m an unimaginative hump. The Pacers ended the Raptors 5 game win streak with a 130-115 win. In a losing effort for the Raps, Chris Bosh had 35 points with 15 rebounds and Andrea Bargnani chipped in 34 points. The Houston Rockets got their ninth straight win over the Golden State Warriors with a 119-97 victory. Monta Ellis had 34 points in a losing effort.
NHL: Grab your seat on the bandwagon while the getting is still good. The Washington Capitals won their franchise record 11th straight game to retain their position as the best team in the league. They did this in a 4-1 victory over the slumping Boston Bruins, who’ve now lost 8 straight. In the Toronto Maple Leafs first game since they traded half their team away, they came away with a 3-0 blanking of the New Jersey Devils. Newly acuired J.S. Giguere had the shutout for the Leafs, though Martin Brodeur didn’t play for the Devils last night. The Colorado Avalanche hosed the Columbus Blue Jackets 5-1 last night. In a slew of names that I don’t even recognize, Brandon Yip and Ryan O’Reilly had 2 goals apiece while T.J. Galiardi had 4 assists.
College Football: It’s signing day. It’s signing day! What that means for the uninformed is that today is the deadline for High School Seniors and Junior College transfers to sign with the college that they will play for. Sure they could sign at a later date, but they wouldn’t be getting a scholarship that way. Follow it live from 10am-7pm EST or keep your eyes peeled for updates on Twitter.
College Basketball: Fourth ranked Syracuse beat Providence 85-68 which moves them to 22-1 for their best start ever. In yesterdays only match between two ranked teams, 16th ranked Wisconsin upset fifth ranked Michigan State by a score of 67-49
Soccer: The economy may not be super swell over here, but be thankful you’re not in the UK. Soccer clubs are facing record levels of debt. Liverpool is chasing a £100 million investment right now. Owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett have, until July to receive the £100 million in investments. In July their debt refinancing agreement ends and the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) and Wachovia, with whom the financing is through, will be putting pressure on the owners to solve the estimated £237 million of debt the club is under. If not, the team will likely be for sale but in this market and with that kind of debt I’m not sure there are many available buyers.
Justin Verlander has signed a 
