The Gally Blog's 2009 NFL Predictions

Logic: Alright as everyone knows, I’m Logic. I’ve been given much more authority to make predictions than I should.. A retarded monkey that screams on top of a paint can while handing out flowers would have sufficed perfectly. Gally and Gimp are going to get down here eventually. Even though Gimp still hasn’t done our Fantasy analysis. Tsk tsk. What we are going to do here is break down the divisions and make some predictions. And since I’m in a deep focus I’ll let you have it:
Gally: We may not be experts, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t pretend to be.
gimp: Alcoholics, yes. Experts, not quite.

AFC NORTH: Logic’s Pick: Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5). I still see them dominating their division with virtually the same team they had last year. In a shitty division too.
Gally:Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5). Last years Super Bowl Champions come into this season thinking that it’s theirs to lose. They return much of a Stellar Defense, and the Offense could see some improvement with a whole season of Rashard Mendenhall.
gimp: Steelers (11-5). If Big Ben can keep his rape stick in his pants I’m sure the Steelers will be fine. I’d like to note, that while the Steelers will win their division, it will be one of the most painful things to witness. To me they’re boring as all hell to watch. Like watching paint dry, or a WNBA game.

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Tags: AFC, Defensive Rookie, Deffensive Player, MVP, NFC, NFL, Offensive Player, Offensive Rookie, predictions
Category In All Seriousness, Previews, This is going to take a while |

The U at Florida State: A totally irrelevant preview

Tonight’s the night that the University of Miami makes its triumphant return to greatness. Okay maybe not, but they are playing the Seminoles of Florida State University, which for the most part is an entertaining battle between two state and conference rivals.

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Tags: college football, FSU, hurricanes, seminoles, UM, UM vs FSU
Category Previews, Satire, Uncategorized |

An Unbiased Look into the NFC East

Weclome Gallions. That’s your name. The readers. Sorry for my lack of action. I was busy working yesterday than I went to Governor’s Comedy Club to see that retarded genius Rich Vos with Tim Gage opening for him. Amazing. His best joke was about how he is fucking his hot wife, Bonnie McFarlane, with her period and he pretends he is killing her. He also did a 10 minute skit on how he’d fight anyone in a wheelchair or has one arm. Saying he would punch the wheelchair person in the back of the head and then run around them and punch them in the back of the head while they are spinning around in circles trying to catch up. Then he’d run up a hill and by the time the wheelchair man got to him he’d punch them in the back of the head and wheel them down the hill. People in the Audience in Wheelchairs: 4.

Ok, I digress. I didn’t know what I was going to get around to today because of my hangover, a block party and then UFC tonight. Me and Gimp will be simultaneously jerking off from 600 miles away when Nate Marquardt powerbombs someone again. The hot little blond from Abercrombie and Fitch’s block party was canceled and now you have this post. Oh shit. Hey Gally? Can you tell if my girlfriend is a reader?

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Tags: Dallas Cowboys, Jessica Simpson, Michael Vick, New York Giants, NFC East, Philadelphia Eagles, Plaxico Burress, Washington Redskins
Category Previews, This is going to take a while |

A Noncomprehensive UFC 102 Preview

Well we got a really solid PPV coming up. It has a better than usual card. One day I’m going to get my buddy Shawn from Fightlinker (note: He scooped FilmDrunk)  to do one of these but he just called me and is going to try to have sex with a girl in a rich part of town. For all Betting Lines head over here to DemandMMA.

For those of you that don’t know, the +/- is the money line. -100 would mean you have to bet $200 to win $100 profit. +100 means you would bet $100 to win $200 profit. If it was “even” it’d be $100 to win $100 profit.

So have a seat, pour yourself a drink, and get ready for Gimp and myself to drop a whole lot of knowledge on you, as we give our predictions for UFC 102…

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Tags: Antonio Noguiera, Chris Leben, Gabriel Gonzaga, Keith Jardine, Nate Marquardt, Polish People are Silly, Randy Couture, Thiago Silva, UFC, UFC 102
Category Previews |

On the chopping block…

Last season saw over 5 NFL coaches getting fired. Personally I thought the number should have been much higher. The start of the regular season is right around the corner and for some coaches they’re already on the chopping block. So it’s either time to man up or get in line down at one of the network studios to get an NFL analyst job. Look at Matt Millen, it’s doing wonders for him after losing his GM gig.

I still can’t believe the Lions would ever let that guy go Sarcasm.

So here are my picks for coaches who are close to on their way out from their respected (or in Marvin Lewis’ case disrespected) organizations.

1. Brad Childress (Minnesota Vikings)

Looks almost like...

Hey, has anyone told you that you look like Professor Plum from the board game Clue?

Professor Plum from Clue.

You’re fired after this season. Adrian Peterson can only do so much and bringing in Brett Favre is to your team, what that iceberg was to the Titanic. The damage isn’t apparent at first, but slowly it will suck you and your team all the way down into the abyss below. The only one who will come out on top here is Peterson, who will either cling to a floating piece of wood as Childress’ ship sinks or magically walk on water, as some fans believe.

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Tags: Brad Childress, chopping block, Dick Jauron, Jack Del Rio, Marvin Lewis, NFL, predictions, someone's getting fired, Wade Phillips
Category Previews, Random Deviations, Uncategorized |

An in-depth look at the NFC North

In Order of Projected Finish

Green Bay Packers

Wisconson Sex Symbol

Coaching
Mike McCarthy has something to prove in 2009. A year after drawing considerable “Coach of the Year” attention for his 13-3 season and a trip to the NFC Championship game, McCarthy led his team to a disappointing 6-10 finish, where they lost an astounding 7 games by 4 points or less. While one could attribute that staggering statistic to bad luck, the devil on my shoulder tends to think that it is more indicative of an inability to “nut up“ when it counts. Much of this can be put on the Coach’s shoulders, as suspect late game play-calling can certainly be pointed out. McCarthy did deal with a brutal array of injuries to his 20th ranked defense, but still decided to make wide sweeping changes, bringing in 3-4 guru Dom Capers to install the system and hopefully give the Green and Gold a nice new look on that side of the ball. Capers has had great success with his 3-4 defense, but will need to be on his game right from the get-go, as the Packers will only go as far as their defense lets them.

Offense
Statistically in 2008, Aaron Rodgers made good strides in his first attempt to make the loyal Cheeseheads move on from #4. He ranked sixth in league in QB Rating with a solid 93.8, eclipsed the 4000 yard mark and tossed 28 touchdown passes in his first year as starter. However his inability to find his inner Favre and create magic late in the fourth quarter was tough to ignore, as the Pack dropped too many close games. Greg Jennings is young and dynamic and is a touchdown machine, bringing in 21 on the outside in the past two years. Averaging 16.2 yards a catch, Jennings is a homerun threat that defenses need to apply double teams to more and more. This gives the dependable Donald Driver room to operate on the opposite side of the field, whose crisp route running and solid hands still make younger defensive backs look silly. After a superb coming out party in 2007, Ryan Grant looked too predictable last year, and struggled throughout the season. While he did deal with a hamstring injury all season long, a supposedly new and improved Grant will need to come out strong right away in 2009 for the injury excuse to validate itself. If not, he becomes one of countless other backs who had short term success before being shut down by more aware and prepared defenses.
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Tags: Bears, Brad Childress, Brett Favre, Gun Slinger, Jay Cutler, Jim Schwartz, Lions, Packers, Vikings
Category Previews, This is going to take a while |