The NFL starts tonight, so all other sports but college football are irrelevant until February. Maybe a little hockey also.
MLB: That Derek Jeter fellow who plays for the New York Yankees is pretty decent. Yesterday he tied Yankee great Lou Gehrig atop the all time Yankee hit record with 2721 hits. Oh and the Yanks beat the Rays 4-2. Seth Smith hit a 2 out, 2RBI walkoff single to lead the Rockies over the Reds 4-3. It was their 6th win in a row as they increased their lead in the Wild Card chase.
NFL: Denver malcontent, Brandon Marshall, is now in talks with the team to extend his contract. Is that like those late night eXtenze commercials? Noted marble mouth and dancing Queen, Emmit Smith has called out Tony Romo and Wade Phillips. He says that it’s time for those two to take charge and lead the team. How dare he say that. Romo is a god damn star I tell ya. So would Jerry Jones if he didn’t have his fingers in his ears shouting la la la, I can’t hear you whenever anybody mentions the glaring fault in his new stadium.
NBA: Allen Iverson, is now apparently the answer for the Memphis Grizzlies. He was for all intents and purposes blacklisted this summer, and nobody wanted a piece of him. But that’s over now, and he can extend his career for one more year. Yay, but is he going to have to practice?
NHL: So the bidding for the Phoenix Coyotes is down to just Jim Balsille and The NHL. So the two Rivals are the last two standing in a messy battle royale. As a side note, if a bus runs over Gary Bettman in the woods, and there’s no witness’, does anybody care? but wait, there’s more
The 2009 NCAA college football season is well under way. Week 1 has ended after last night’s close contested battle between the University of Miami and Florida State. Today is Tuesday, which means 2 things, 1) I have a reference point for recalling the lapses in memory I have for the last few days and 2) This week’s rankings from the Associated Press are out. Below you will find the rankings, as well as my expert analysis. And by expert analysis I mean tons of profanity and sarcasm.
Hey everybody, it’s been a good week around here. Logic got challenged to a fight/threatened with violence for a post he did. If you weren’t around yesterday, and didn’t get a chance to see the recap of the Fantasy Draft I recommend checking it out. Gimp will eventually add his two cents, but he’s got that whole I’m in University thing going for him.
College Football: On a Monday? What the fuck? Oh right, it’s the first week of the season and it’s a holiday. I’m not complaining, well I am but it’s more because I had to work and didn’t get to see it. Why does that matter? Because the game was EPIC. There were 6 lead changes, including 4 in the last quarter. Miami, came from out of nowhere to beat the FSU Seminoles 38-34. FSU had 5 chances from in Miami’s 5 yard line to end the game, but couldn’t come out with the score. Bobby Bowden, a 44 year Head Coach at the collegiate level called it one of the best three games that he’s ever seen. Stupid work.
NFL: You’ve all heard about Shawne Merriman and his incident with Tila Tequila. Well she has come out of her shy little shell to say that Judgement Day. So does this mean that she’s a Terminator as well? Richard Seymour has not reported to the Raiders. Wow that’s a mess. Tom Cable says that he talked to Seymour and he wants to be there. He claims that Seymour has a few issues with the Patriots that he wants to work out. Yeah, like why the hell did you trade me to that hell hole, I would have taken the discount to stay here. The Patriots are claiming they have no idea that there’s an issue with the trade. Even if they did, they’d probably announce it as Seymour having a bruised elbow and he’s day to day.
MLB: Well lookie this. The Pirates have guaranteed a MLB record 17th consecutive losing season. If only the Steelers could reclaim the losing glory that has befallen the Pirates, or the up until recently Penguins. Why the hell is there so many Pittsburgh fans everywhere? It makes me want to punch a baby Unicorn. The Rockies won their 4th straight game to keep place as the NL wild card leader. Good for them.
NBA: Allan Iverson has a face to face meeting with the Grizzlies. Congrats, I guess he’s not blackballed after all although he may have wanted to be if the only option is to play for the Grizzlies.
NHL: The NHL could impose a $195M relocation fee for Jim Balsille to move the Coyotes from Phoenix to Hamilton. Wow, what a bag of dicks Gary Bettman is. He’s claiming the damage to the NHL. Wow, what a bag of dicks Gary Bettman is. He’s claiming the damage to the NHL would far succeed that level, and therefore has a right to claim that much. Fuck you Bettman, right in the fucking face. That’s the worst possible place to have an NHL team. Right in the middle of the desert. The ice is shitty there as a result, and the stadium is one of the emptiest in the league.
This is as upset as she gets?
US. Open, Womens: Melanie Oudin, the 17 year old American continues to surprise. After losing 1-6 in the first set yesterday, she rallied to win and advance to the Quarterfinals. Oudin is the one who ended Maria Sharapova’s comeback from injury in the last round. I tried to find an uspset picture, of her, but the best I could find was this one.
US. Open, Mens: Federer and Djokovic advanced, while Isner lost, which means that for the first time at a US. Open, there will be no American in the quarterfinals. Federer’s opponent is the guy he pasted at the French Open final which means that there’s a high possibility that Federer will win yet another US. Open and pad his record Major total.
Hey there Pearl Factories. Just because it’s the weekend, doesn’t mean that we’ll be taking it off. We here at The Gally Blog, are going to do our best to make sure that there is stuff here for you guys 7 days a week. The weekend posting may not be as extensive, and it may seem like we’re half assing it(because we are), but we will be here.
College Football: Well it’s not that surprising, but LeGarrette Blount got suspended for the year for going all punchy last night. This includes playoffs if they make them and effectively ends his career as he was in his second year after transferring from Junior College. He had 1002 yds rushing last year and a team record 17 TD’s. Thursday night he finished with -5 yds rushing, giving him a two year total of 997 yds. It’s okay though, the Raiders or the Bengals will still draft him. Tulsa whupped Tulane 37-13 but I could care less.
NFL: Brett Favre was fined $10,000 for trying to end Eugene Wilson’s career. Part of me thinks that if it were anybody else, the fine would have been bigger and a suspension might have been involved. Kevin Jones of the Bears will miss the season with a torn ligament in his knee.
MLB: Roy Halladay was Roy Halladay last night. He pitched his first career one hit shutout as the Jays beat the Yanks 6-0. Noted waste of skin, Jason Giambi, hit another clutch RBI for the Rockies after being called up from AAA. The Rockies beat the Diamondbacks 5-4 to keep a one game lead in the NL wildcard race.
Well, there was much more, but that’s all I care about for today. If you want me to do recaps on other sports/teams, let me know. I may do something about it, I may do nothing about it. It all depends on how much I hate your favorite team/player/sport.
Jell-O wrestling is 10x sexier, and doesn't look like they're covered in crap.
Only the Europeans could take wrestling and make it not sexy. Okay maybe wrestling isn’t very sexy at all. It’s actually quite homoerotic. However, two chicks wrestling ranks high on the erection scale. Especially when done so in a mixture of KY lubricant, whipped cream, or Jello-O. Mmmm Jello-O. Wrestling in gravy, while delicious isn’t necessarily very sexy. Dudes wrestling in gravy even less sexier.
The Rose ‘n’ Bowl pub in Stacksteads, Lancashire, hosted the World Gravy Wrestling Championships.
Bisto provided 2,000 litres (440 gallons) of gravy past its best before date for the contest, which raised money for the East Lancashire Hospice.
For charity or not the idea of grown men wrestling around in a substance that resembles feces, stirs up too many images of a Dutch porn. And reading the following quote from this year’s winner Joel Hicks or as he’s known on the gravy fighting circuit Stone Cold Steve Bisto, doesn’t help matters:
“The final was really tough and it is much more difficult than you think. My technique was really just to grab hold of the guy and hope for the best [ed note: that's what she said /snickers like a 12 year old].”
Hulk Hogan would be so proud. In fact he’d probably say something like, “That’s right kids. If you drink your milk, take your vitamins, and say your prayers, you too can be a gravy wrestling champion. Now can someone help me. I think I have a lump of gravy wedged in my ass crack.”
Baseball Uh…Baseball is still going on? Umm…Hey look a blue football field!
College Football College football made it’s triumphant return last night. And by triumphant I mean slightly anticlimatic…Except for…Well I’ll get to that…
The early game on ESPN saw Steve Spurrier’s *cough* Douche *cough* South Carolina Gamecocks snickers take on the Wolf Pack of N.C. State. Saying this game was boring would be putting it mildly. I’ve seen late term abortions with more appeal…Damn I’ve been talking with Logic too much lately. Regardless, the Cocks of Game took this one 7-3.
Utah and Utah State battled for the Mormons’ enjoyment last night, with Utah winning 35-17. It’s almost like back in the days of the Roman Coliseum. But instead of Romans it’s Mormons. And instead of fights to the death or being mauled by a lion, it’s just football.
The late game on ESPN saw Oregon taking on Boise State. You might remember Boise State as a potential BCS buster over the last few seasons, as well as having one of the most hideous football fields in America. Blue turf? Really? I guess it actually gives people a reason to be interested in Idaho, albeit just for the color of their turf. Hey Idaho is also known for having potatoes! Yes makes wanking off motion, and I am known for not giving a shit. Boise State controlled this game for 4 quarters and took the win with a 19-8 finish.
Boise State’s To Do list for the next week should look like, 1) Work on field goals, because kicker, Kyle Brotzman, went 1/3 last night missing a 29 yarder, and 2) Hold on to the football. They lost 3 fumbles and it almost was more.
Oregon’s To Do list should look something like this, 1-5) Get new uniforms (underlined and circled a bunch of times). That whole, tribal looking duck wings on the shoulders are as cool looking as chicks wearing Ugg boots in the summer time.
Am I forgetting anything else? Hmmm….Oh yeah this happened too.
Somebody is gonna to get suspended…Or signed by the Bengals….or maybe both. Hmmm..,
Well crikey, Brett Favre, the annointed one, made his triumphant return to football last night. What’s that you say, he’s played in the othr preseason games, well it doesn’t matter. He played the whole first half last night. I’m not really on the whole hating Favre bandwagon, but that’s not to say that if the Vikings plane crashed and everybody survived but him, that it would have any negative emotional impact on me. I just wish he would stay retired for once. With a little luck Peyton is going to break all his records, but Interceptions anyways so why keep padding your stats.
Favre finished 13-18 for 142 yards with one TD. Nothing spectacular, but pretty solid for a guy about to turn 40 and in only one half. But I don’t see how a QB can’t have good game when you hand off to Adrian “Purple Jesus” Peterson. The guy had 11 carries for 117yds and 1TD, including a 75yd rumble down the field for TD on the first play of the game.
But the game was not without controversy though. continue
