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Tuesday August 23rd 2011

‘This is going to take a while’ Archive

The Gally Blog Fantasy Football Draft

First thing to pop intor our heads when we hear the phrase "Fantasy Football."
First thing to pop into our heads when we hear the phrase "Fantasy Football."

So the first annual Gally Blog Blogger Fantasy Football happened yesterday. 9/12 of the players managed to show up, while the other three got auto drafted. Logic was one of those three as he was on a plane, so we’ll forgive him even though he got a decent team out of it. It was a serpentine draft, and even though I could list the whole thing in order we’re we’re going to just list it team by team so you can mock each team. Or praise it. Or not even read this article. Whatever.

Logic: Hey Gallions. Sorry I missed the draft. I had a plane at 4PM, Chicago time, and then didn’t get home until about 8:30PM Eastern. I was really pissed that I missed the draft and even madder that I had pick #2 and couldn’t map out a strategy for it. All my other drafts have been at the back end. All my dates are like that too. So I guess I’ll give a little analysis on each guy’s team and give their best picks, worst picks and any steals that they grabbed.

Monday Morning Punter-Unmotivated Leather:
1. (1) Adrian Peterson
2. (24) Tom Brady
3. (25) Ronnie Brown
4. (48) T.J. Houshmandzadeh
5. (49) Antonio Gates
6. (72) Larry Johnson
7. (73) Donnie Avery
8. (96) Ray Rice
9. (97) Lee Evans
10. (120) Nate Washington
11. (121) James Davis
12. (144) Devery Henderson
13. (145) Miles Austin
14. (168) John Kasay
15. (169) New England
Logic: Punter grabbed the first pick and obviously had to go with Adrian Peterson. I always hated that pressure. Like a few years ago when LaDanian Tomlinson was in his prime, you just had to pick him. I don’t like that because then he gets hurt and it either sucks for you or he does amazing and you don’t pick him and then people say you suck at life. Punter went with the former and you can’t bash him for that. I think his best pick was waiting until the 15th round to take New England’s defense. I’m sure I would have taken the Giants defense in the 8th round given that I was there and he waited that long to grab a defense that is going to be just as solid even though they lost Richard Seymour. I think Ronnie Brown is going to hurt his team a little bit. If you take away his 4 TD game against New England it almost halves his total on the season. Not to mention he isn’t much of a pass catcher but I’m looking and the only pick in the 3rd round that I would’ve grabbed over him was either Philip Rivers of Thomas Jones. Now that I’m looking at the draft results, seeing Tom Brady go in the last pick of the 2nd round seems like that is one of the most insane things I’ve seen in a while.

Gally: A very good selection. Don’t take this the wrong way Punter, but I hope Brady’s other knee gets mangled this year.  I’d be hesitant to take a Ram for a WR, but I guess that shows some balls.  Or some pre-draft paint huffing.

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An Unbiased Look into the NFC East

Weclome Gallions. That’s your name. The readers. Sorry for my lack of action. I was busy working yesterday than I went to Governor’s Comedy Club to see that retarded genius Rich Vos with Tim Gage opening for him. Amazing. His best joke was about how he is fucking his hot wife, Bonnie McFarlane, with her period and he pretends he is killing her. He also did a 10 minute skit on how he’d fight anyone in a wheelchair or has one arm. Saying he would punch the wheelchair person in the back of the head and then run around them and punch them in the back of the head while they are spinning around in circles trying to catch up. Then he’d run up a hill and by the time the wheelchair man got to him he’d punch them in the back of the head and wheel them down the hill. People in the Audience in Wheelchairs: 4.

Ok, I digress. I didn’t know what I was going to get around to today because of my hangover, a block party and then UFC tonight. Me and Gimp will be simultaneously jerking off from 600 miles away when Nate Marquardt powerbombs someone again. The hot little blond from Abercrombie and Fitch’s block party was canceled and now you have this post. Oh shit. Hey Gally? Can you tell if my girlfriend is a reader?

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The Not Obvious Fantasy Picks of the Year.

Alright so I gave who I love and who I hate in my last post. This is a little game that I invented. It’s called Not The Obvious and it goes like this. I broke down every team in the NFL and gave the best Fantasy Football value of a player that you won’t want to draft in the first few rounds. Some are more obvious than others and that is either simply because the team is on pace to be a grease fire or they have so many players that would go early.

For example, Kevin Smith is going to go quick because he is a RB. But he is still one of the lower half of RBs that I personally would take in the draft. So he might be high on your board, but he’s not on mine. Others like Donnie Avery might go quick as well because he is a #1 WR but I still think you can grab a guy like that in the 10th round. So here it goes.

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Love/Hate and Love to Hate. A Fantasy Football Breakdown.

I’m not going to lie, I love that Gally put up a Fantasy Page on our blog because this is my addiction. It’s all I have left to stay competitive. Yeah there’s beer league softball and running from the cops but that gets boring after a while. Ok, I might be the jockiest nerd that ever lived but for serious, I’m all about the fantasy sports. Especially when you turn on ESPN and it’s all Plaxico and Vick law troubles or Favre trying to decide if he wants to use the shampoo or conditioner first. Maybe that was Billy Madison? Eh whatever. Two retards that are way past their prime now…

For those of you following along at home or want to see if I actually live and die by my advice (unlike countless ESPN Fantasy Football writers), here is how my draft went with all the rules and regulations.

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Chad Johnson U-Streams

Alright so at about 11:00PM last night I realized that Chad Ochocinco was U-Streaming live about an hour after I ripped into him for kicking an extra point in a preseason game. The U-Stream was a mutated abortion of so many sorts, this is how it went down:

chadjohnsonpic
i AM a future HOF

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An in-depth look at the NFC North

In Order of Projected Finish

Green Bay Packers

Wisconson Sex Symbol
Wisconson Sex Symbol

Coaching
Mike McCarthy has something to prove in 2009. A year after drawing considerable “Coach of the Year” attention for his 13-3 season and a trip to the NFC Championship game, McCarthy led his team to a disappointing 6-10 finish, where they lost an astounding 7 games by 4 points or less. While one could attribute that staggering statistic to bad luck, the devil on my shoulder tends to think that it is more indicative of an inability to “nut up“ when it counts. Much of this can be put on the Coach’s shoulders, as suspect late game play-calling can certainly be pointed out. McCarthy did deal with a brutal array of injuries to his 20th ranked defense, but still decided to make wide sweeping changes, bringing in 3-4 guru Dom Capers to install the system and hopefully give the Green and Gold a nice new look on that side of the ball. Capers has had great success with his 3-4 defense, but will need to be on his game right from the get-go, as the Packers will only go as far as their defense lets them.

Offense
Statistically in 2008, Aaron Rodgers made good strides in his first attempt to make the loyal Cheeseheads move on from #4. He ranked sixth in league in QB Rating with a solid 93.8, eclipsed the 4000 yard mark and tossed 28 touchdown passes in his first year as starter. However his inability to find his inner Favre and create magic late in the fourth quarter was tough to ignore, as the Pack dropped too many close games. Greg Jennings is young and dynamic and is a touchdown machine, bringing in 21 on the outside in the past two years. Averaging 16.2 yards a catch, Jennings is a homerun threat that defenses need to apply double teams to more and more. This gives the dependable Donald Driver room to operate on the opposite side of the field, whose crisp route running and solid hands still make younger defensive backs look silly. After a superb coming out party in 2007, Ryan Grant looked too predictable last year, and struggled throughout the season. While he did deal with a hamstring injury all season long, a supposedly new and improved Grant will need to come out strong right away in 2009 for the injury excuse to validate itself. If not, he becomes one of countless other backs who had short term success before being shut down by more aware and prepared defenses.
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