Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Friday May 20th 2011

‘Way Off Topic’ Archive

In Honor of Parks and Recreation’s Return Tonight

I know this isn’t new, but it’s about the most ridiculously addictive thing ever.

Good luck unsticking that from your head. Sorry.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share

This Double Standard Disgusts Me

I apologize if I get off topic a bit here in talking about movies instead of sports and forced sexual relations, but there is something I’ve had to get off my chest this week; namely, the hypocrisy that is middle aged women who fawn over under aged boys by fantasizing and fainting over the Twilight movie saga.

Women, your actions are purely disgusting. While I have mostly tried to stay away from this prepubescent explosion of strange feelings that women get for these movie boys, the fact that the Twilight movies and their collection of dashing and hunky young men who CLEARLY are too young for these Twilight-Moms, has grabbed the national consciousness has forced my hand and drawn my own attention. And I’ve noticed several things. First, the movies look absolutely terrible and I am disgusted that such intelligent and courageous women who’s own parents fought for your right to vote, work, and wear pants is being embarrassed by this classless fawning over physical male specimens that are thrice your age.

(more…)

Popularity: 2% [?]

Share

In Defense of (Not Especially Healthy) Food

In case you weren’t aware, by day, I am a mild mannered Food Scientist. That is, until Ralph Wilson dies and leaves me the ownership of the Buffalo Bills in his will. IT COULD HAPPEN DON’T KILL MY DREAMS. Anyway, my profession, and the industry of food itself, tends to take a lot of flack from people. Namely, complete idiots. These are the people that believe Jack LaLaine when he tells you that “you need a degree in literature just to understand this stuff!” (No, Jack, just a rudimentary understanding of chemistry. Of course, I could probably put Dihydrogen Oxide on a label and scare you). Generally, I spare most people my rants- my apologies to the random girl at the Phyrst last year that I yelled at for thinking that organic foods were far superior, don’t mess with a drunk food scientist- but every now and then, someone is so dumb, I feel the need to mock them anonymously via the internet. This is one of those times.

(more…)

Popularity: 2% [?]

Share

Sorry

Sorry for a second day off this week, but one of my writers took his own life last night. It wasn’t Logic, Gimp, KGun, PJDiaries, White Speed Receiver or Berstreet so don’t worry about those guys. I just don’t feel like dick jokes would be appropriate today. Enjoy your Wednesday.

Lots of love and prayers to the Bidwell family.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Share

HOG WATCH!

Alright, not much going on other than Rex Ryan giving the finger and some Peyton Manning forehead jokes. The rest is just Hockey and Basketball. *shudders* I am heading to my first ever Knicks game on Friday, but there is something more important than that. Saturday. UFC 109. It is happening and it’s a very good card. Dana White is a not a dumb man. He knows there is going to be no competition with his company since the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight was canceled and football season coming to a close. Hell, pitchers and catchers didn’t even report yet. He is going to try to fill that dreadful gap in between football and baseball by throwing title matches and monster rematches in your face. Me? I fill your mother’s gap and shoot other stuff in her face.

Anyway, Joe Rogan is a great stand up comedian. He also trains in BJJ and if I’m not mistaken, he is pretty good (Brown Belt says Wikipedia). One thing is for sure, he isn’t that little pudge ball he was on The Man Show. He is pretty f-cking ripped now. The video is pretty funny, it just shows Rogan changing (TOTALLY SFW, NO HOMO) and some guy that he is totally aware of that just keeps staring at his junk. What? I didn’t Google “Joe Rogan, naked” or anything!





thanks, Fightlinker.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Share

WINter Fail

WINter fail is what this is all about. Get it? By watching this you win at life, and sports. So some chap from Mother Europe decided to make a compilation of various winter time failing. You see, much of this world gets snow and ice, but nobody handles it as well as us Canadians. Well Global Warming decided to make it cold as balls everywhere and now none of these stupid fucks know what to do. Hey look at that paper thin ice! How’s aboot we try to cross it? That sounds like a fantastic idea.

Fortunately for you it’s a fantastic idea. You get to see people do face plants and other such hijinks. Unfortunately, nobody dies in this video, though a chick gets run over by her own car. That’s always good for a laugh. And hey, maybe other morons will see that nobody dies in this and think they’re bulletproof. The result, reality TV and a strengthening of the gene pool. Hooray for voluntary eugenics.

via. Fun-Vids from Phun(both NSFW)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share

Viatcong Spy Update!


Shawne Merriman Called his Boys: The Black Community.
Shawne Merriman Called his Boys: The Black Community.

Alright this is going to be a short post because I was in the middle of searching my favorite porn site (XVideos) and I came across this video. If you didn’t know, I follow Tila Tequila on Twitter. As well as Shawne Merriman and Chad Ochocinco who all went into a triangle of love/Jerry Springer-like saga one day. And then as of recently, Tila Tequila apparently exploded on her U-Stream. Speaking of which, I bet she’s had more guys explode in her than Israel.

So to make a long story short. Logic was looking at porn and came across the very-NSFW video of her imploding (would be the correct term) and talking about Shawne Merriman having sex with minors after forcing them to take drugs which may or may not be extremely sexy. It all depends on the area because from what we gathered at Last Call the other day, in Alberta, Canada the legal age could possibly be 14. That means I could’ve married Miley for her money and then dumped her and ran away with Selena Gomez 3 years ago. I’m so behind schedule!

And since I’m terrible with this whole HTML thing and copying and pasting is too hard for me, I’ll just give you the very NSFW URL. It’s just as easy!

p.s. If you hate Tila, watching the video is worth it just to see her fall off the back of a chair during a sexy dance at the 2:45 mark.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share

I Have a Plan

God Damn mouth-breather.
God Damn mouth-breather.

It’s really real. The New York Giants are 5-3. Officially worse than the fate I predicted for them (finishing 12-4). I’m attributing much of the blame to our $106 million dollar drooling and snarling retard quarterback Eli Manning. I decided there is no way to motivate him to do well at this point. As with most of New York’s athletes, they fall off after the pay day. That’s why I usually go straight to what they care about for motivation, their family. No I’m not talking about getting someone to give them a word of encouragement and no, I’m not talking about Archie or Peyton. Not even the hapless loser, Cooper. By the way, I’m 90% that all 4 of their stupid names would be good names for an Irish Setter. (more…)

Popularity: 2% [?]

Share

Halloween is Coming.

October is here. And what does that mean? Comparisons to Reggie Jackson and playoff Baseball. The beginning of the basketball/hockey seasons and lastly where everyone begins to get nervous about the NFL playoffs or BCS championship. Though, another event overshadows all of the rest, most important October Event? Halloween. This is a crazy time of year. This is when guys usually dress up in some amazing/funny costumes and (hot) girls dress up in skimpy/slutty outfits in an attempt to show their body off one last time before winter. Fat girls are encouraged to dress up funny as well. The Gally Blog (especially yours truly) is very interested in your Halloween Costumes. We prefer 1 of 3 ways: gross, sexy or funny. Send all ideas/pictures to HatedHero11@Gmail.com and you shall be added to the post. Examples you ask?

(more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share

An Open Letter to Bear Grylls

Dear Bear Grylls,

Let me start off by saying that your show Man Vs. Wild is amazing. You put the badass in Badass Motherfucker.  The following video is evidence of this.
That was gnarly to nth degree.

I grew up on a farm and did the whole camping and outdoorsy thing. (more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share

Latest Posts

Goodbye, Dan Levy

Goodbye, Dan Levy

First off, sorry for the hiatus. Blogging became less  and less of a priority to me as of late. Why? Mostly because [Read More]

The Sandlot: Logical?

The Sandlot: Logical?

The Sandlot is a movie that has garnished much attention from the people I actually talk to on twitter. Though that is [Read More]

Anything You’ve Done, Is Now Invalid. Ueli Steck Is A Man

Anything You’ve Done, Is Now Invalid. Ueli Steck Is A Man

The Man pictured above is one Ueli Steck. He is not the most physically imposing man that you’ll ever come [Read More]

Some Quick Thoughts on the NFL Scouting Combine and Measurables Vs. Intangibles

Some Quick Thoughts on the NFL Scouting Combine and Measurables Vs. Intangibles

Cam Newton is currently leading all combine participants in the intangible known as “swagger” The NFL [Read More]

The Danger Guererro Gally Blog Podcast: Episode 2

The Danger Guererro Gally Blog Podcast: Episode 2

Welcome again folks to a Danger Guerrero presents the Gally Blog Podcast featuring Danger Guerrero and some other guys [Read More]

Recent Comments

Logic had this to say

You're right. Sorry. Corrected. Read the post

Max Power had this to say

I like how Logic has to specify "16 and a half year olds"...like that half-year makes a difference for him or something. Read the post

me had this to say

I have to say, I have no clue who you people are or what your trying to do with the internets, but I find it mildly Read the post

Danger Guerrero had this to say

This is kind of the best thing ever. Read the post

Devin had this to say

Its funny how wrong this is the ravens and steelers went 12 and 4 and the steelers went to the superbowl and the Read the post

Insider

Archives