Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Friday September 16th 2011

‘Weekend Edition’ Archive

Anything You’ve Done, Is Now Invalid. Ueli Steck Is A Man

The Man pictured above is one Ueli Steck. He is not the most physically imposing man that you’ll ever come across, but his tremendous skill at mountain climbing brings up to the Rushmore of Manly Men. In 2008 after abandoning an attempt to climb Annapurna, he returned to base camp. Days later though, Spanish climber Inaki Ochoa de Olza collapsed during an attempt up the mountain, and Ueli climbed to try and save the man’s life, though it was too late. Think about that the next time someone asks for help moving furniture and you’re too lazy to help.

Anyways, I kind of rambled on there. Moving on. In 2003 climber Christoph Hainz did a speed climb in four and a half hours, which inspired Ueli(Warning, link in Swiss). In 2007 Ueli climbed the 13,025 ft Eiger mountain in three hours and fifty four minutes. Unsatisfied and knowing he had not reached his potential, he set out to make himself leaner, faster and stronger.

After receiving criticism on his record for using the route and hooks of a previous climber, he gave the climbing world a big eff you and threw up his middle fingers(figuratively, of course, he seems to be a really nice guy). Having already shed 9 lbs from his previous climbing weight, he decided to go minimalist in an effort to beat his time. He carried some energy gels, bars, crampons, ice axes and a climbing rope up with him as his only supplies. The rope was in case of emergency only and not intended to be part of his actual climbing procedure.

So with minimal supplies, and a sure heart, he set off in 2008 to beat his already record time of Eiger, this time with a film crew. He broke his own record by over an hour and he used no one else’s route or previously existing equipment. Ueli climbed the 13,025 foot tall mountain in an astonishing 2 hours and 47 minutes. With no real safety gear or precautions. In doing so, he has shown himself as one of the manliest men of being a man. Nothing you do will ever even approach what he accomplished. Below the jump is an utterly breathtaking 4 minute HD video clip that is a promo for the upcoming film, “Swiss Machine” by Sender Films. I recommend that you watch it on full screen HD for all it’s brilliant glory.

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Strikeforce Was Tough To Watch





One of Herschel's Personalities is a racist caricature!





Last night, I completely forgot that Strikeforce was even on. To the casual MMA fan, this is basically the minor leagues to UFC. They offer “Pay Per View-like” events, except they are often aired on free TV or ShoTime. The fighters are usually guys just on the brink of that big contract and some just have moral or personal vendettas against Dana White and/or the UFC. Other times, the fighters are just carnival acts. Like last night.

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A Non-comprehensive Preview of UFC 103

Everything is bigger in Texas. Sadly UFC didn’t get that memo and we’re left with another Rich Franklin headlined Pay Per View (PPV) and the 2nd PPV in a row without a title fight in the main event.

Not to take anything away from Franklin. He has a record of 27-4 with 1 No Contest. and could no doubt have his way with me in a fight…And I don’t mean in the mancrush for GSPĀ  sort of way where I would totally give up my back…Uhh no homo? More like the “Hey you don’t really need that arm” sortof way after he snaps it in a submission. Or in the “Here let me rearrange your face like a Picasso” kinda way. Yeah, that kinda way.

Now that I got the rant part out-of-the-way enjoy as Logic and I give you our picks for UFC 103. Which will hopefully end in my redemption after taking it on the chin with my picks from UFC 102.

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Morning After Pill: Weekend Edition

Hey there Pearl Factories. Just because it’s the weekend, doesn’t mean that we’ll be taking it off. We here at The Gally Blog, are going to do our best to make sure that there is stuff here for you guys 7 days a week. The weekend posting may not be as extensive, and it may seem like we’re half assing it(because we are), but we will be here.

College Football: Well it’s not that surprising, but LeGarrette Blount got suspended for the year for going all punchy last night. This includes playoffs if they make them and effectively ends his career as he was in his second year after transferring from Junior College. He had 1002 yds rushing last year and a team record 17 TD’s. Thursday night he finished with -5 yds rushing, giving him a two year total of 997 yds. It’s okay though, the Raiders or the Bengals will still draft him. Tulsa whupped Tulane 37-13 but I could care less.

NFL: Brett Favre was fined $10,000 for trying to end Eugene Wilson’s career. Part of me thinks that if it were anybody else, the fine would have been bigger and a suspension might have been involved. Kevin Jones of the Bears will miss the season with a torn ligament in his knee.

MLB: Roy Halladay was Roy Halladay last night. He pitched his first career one hit shutout as the Jays beat the Yanks 6-0. Noted waste of skin, Jason Giambi, hit another clutch RBI for the Rockies after being called up from AAA. The Rockies beat the Diamondbacks 5-4 to keep a one game lead in the NL wildcard race.

Well, there was much more, but that’s all I care about for today. If you want me to do recaps on other sports/teams, let me know. I may do something about it, I may do nothing about it. It all depends on how much I hate your favorite team/player/sport.

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