The Morning After Pill is where we review the previous day in the sporting world. Certain sports/teams are left out due to extreme lack of caring or hangovers
NFL: Mark Sanchise turned the ball over twice against the Saints yesterday. Well more than twice, but he turned over twice for TD’s as Gregg Williams may have in fact transformed the Saints D from a flaming pile of dog shit to a legitimate D. Peyton Manning brought his laser rocket arm out again today as he threw for 353 yards and two TD’s. He’s now tied with Fran Tarkenton for third place all time with 342 TD passes. The battle of Ohio turned out to be better than any one expected as Cincy beat the Browns 23-20 in overtime. Ochocinco had 2 TD’s and nobody but one of the retarded announcers didn’t know the OT rules. The 49ers absolutely crushed the Rams 35-0. San Fran’s D got three scores and put up an incredible 39 fantasy points, carrying fantasy teams to win worldwide.
MLB: For the second straight year the Twins are in a one game playoff to determine the winner of the AL Central. They crushed the royals 13-4 and the Tigers got 8 strong innings out of Verlander as they beat the White Sox 5-3. A-Rod proved again that he’s super clutch in the regular season as he hit 2 HR’s and 7 RBI in the sixth inning alone as the Yanks beat the Rays 10-2. Nutty, but don’t worry non-Yanks fans, he’ll likely dissapear in the post season like he always does. Maybe this year instead of hooking up with Madonna or manly women he can find himself a good old fashioned Thai lady-boy. In Ken Griffey Jr’s potential final game, King Felix dominated as the M’s beat the Rangers by a score of 4-3. Griffey started his career in Seattle, and when he left for the Reds his career was never the same as it was derailed by injuries. He is the active career leader in hits and home runs.