What’s up guys? A whole bunch of sports headlines, Brian Westbrook…LaDanian Tomlinson…Tony Kornheiser… Pffttt. There really isn’t anything going on that isn’t Olympics related. Whatever, I’m over it. Especially when Hillary Duff be blowin’ dudes and what not.
Tunes: Company of Thieves- Even in the Dark (live at Horseshoe Bend in Arizona)
First up, we got Ufford writing for the actual Uproxx website and 6 ways to bother your commenters. Is it me or does his best work come when he is yelling at internet commenters? (See also, KSK)
Actually, a double dose of of Ufford is in order because he found some pictures of The Situation with Bar Rafaeli. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been trying to MMA fight the Situation for a while now…but now, I won’t stop until all of his blood is out of his body.
Second song: Ke$ha- Tik Tok (cover)
PUNTE has the scoop on Michael Vick getting offered some money for Playgirl. Do girls even read that? Shouldn’t it just be called Playgay or something much funnier than that?
I really hope they do this Captain America movie right and just cast Randy Couture
I’ve just spent hours on the /b/ thread at 4Chan. I didn’t know whether to link Battletoads or Michael Tri-Cera-tops. I’ve known about 4Chan but never really looked at what they do there…Jesus tapdancing Christ. Those guys are so meme’d out it’s unreadable to the newfags.
I think this dog wants to take a run at Birthday Dog for the title of Birthday Dog
Mariusz Pudzianowski is fighting MMA now. Soon, there will be no 155 class. After Brock, Bobby Lashley and now him…these emm effers are getting bigger and bigger. Kind of like your dad at a Russian Bath House.
Alright I think that about covers it. What do you think Gangsta Asian man?
The Morning After Pill is where we review the previous day in the sporting world. Certain sports/teams are left out due to extreme lack of caring or hangovers
NFL: Mark Sanchise turned the ball over twice against the Saints yesterday. Well more than twice, but he turned over twice for TD’s as Gregg Williams may have in fact transformed the Saints D from a flaming pile of dog shit to a legitimate D. Peyton Manning brought his laser rocket arm out again today as he threw for 353 yards and two TD’s. He’s now tied with Fran Tarkenton for third place all time with 342 TD passes. The battle of Ohio turned out to be better than any one expected as Cincy beat the Browns 23-20 in overtime. Ochocinco had 2 TD’s and nobody but one of the retarded announcers didn’t know the OT rules. The 49ers absolutely crushed the Rams 35-0. San Fran’s D got three scores and put up an incredible 39 fantasy points, carrying fantasy teams to win worldwide.
MLB: For the second straight year the Twins are in a one game playoff to determine the winner of the AL Central. They crushed the royals 13-4 and the Tigers got 8 strong innings out of Verlander as they beat the White Sox 5-3. A-Rod proved again that he’s super clutch in the regular season as he hit 2 HR’s and 7 RBI in the sixth inning alone as the Yanks beat the Rays 10-2. Nutty, but don’t worry non-Yanks fans, he’ll likely dissapear in the post season like he always does. Maybe this year instead of hooking up with Madonna or manly women he can find himself a good old fashioned Thai lady-boy. In Ken Griffey Jr’s potential final game, King Felix dominated as the M’s beat the Rangers by a score of 4-3. Griffey started his career in Seattle, and when he left for the Reds his career was never the same as it was derailed by injuries. He is the active career leader in hits and home runs. (more…)
