This is my weekly section where I will bring you topics from the sporting world (obscure or otherwise) that “I Don’t Get”. I’ll either discover the legitimacy of something thought absurd, or further exploit the sheer stupidity of it all. This week I bring you…
The Favre Delusion
There’s no disputing that Brett Favre (or Uncle Rico, as I call him) is a Hall of Fame Quarterback. He has had an astounding career, that even the most die-hard rivals can’t argue against. But now, the guy is older than dirt and has retired and un-retired like 85 times. While I commend his…ahem dedication to the game [READ: MASSIVE EGO], I absolutely refuse to attribute any early and future successes of the Minnesota Vikings solely to Mr. Favre as the dick-sucking national media are wont to do.
Looking at the September 27th game versus the San Francisco 49ers, Favre didn’t have as much to do with the big, spectacular W that everyone wants to give him credit for.
Percy Harvin had the spectacular 101-yard kick return for a touchdown in the 3rd quarter (truly amazing to witness, might I add. The crowd went insane!). I don’t know if anyone saw, but man can that kid book. It was probably hard to pay attention with all of the sucking noises coming from the press box, though.
They’ve got Purple Jesus who is a freak of nature (more…)
Today I bring you some sad and disturbing Brett Favre news. Favre in talks with reporters stated two things today. He stated that he’s not going to let his consecutive games streak influence him this year. You know, I applaud him for that. I really do. This means that he will not try to play through an injury that would make him completely ineffective and hurt his team. He’s going to hold the record for at least a few more years anyways, so this is him coming to terms with the fact that he’s going to be a 40 year old QB in the NFL. Injuries can and will happen, and as a 40 year old you don’t have the ability to fight it off and play at a high enough level to help the team win.
Hey there Pearl Factories. Just because it’s the weekend, doesn’t mean that we’ll be taking it off. We here at The Gally Blog, are going to do our best to make sure that there is stuff here for you guys 7 days a week. The weekend posting may not be as extensive, and it may seem like we’re half assing it(because we are), but we will be here.
College Football: Well it’s not that surprising, but LeGarrette Blount got suspended for the year for going all punchy last night. This includes playoffs if they make them and effectively ends his career as he was in his second year after transferring from Junior College. He had 1002 yds rushing last year and a team record 17 TD’s. Thursday night he finished with -5 yds rushing, giving him a two year total of 997 yds. It’s okay though, the Raiders or the Bengals will still draft him. Tulsa whupped Tulane 37-13 but I could care less.
NFL: Brett Favre was fined $10,000 for trying to end Eugene Wilson’s career. Part of me thinks that if it were anybody else, the fine would have been bigger and a suspension might have been involved. Kevin Jones of the Bears will miss the season with a torn ligament in his knee.
MLB: Roy Halladay was Roy Halladay last night. He pitched his first career one hit shutout as the Jays beat the Yanks 6-0. Noted waste of skin, Jason Giambi, hit another clutch RBI for the Rockies after being called up from AAA. The Rockies beat the Diamondbacks 5-4 to keep a one game lead in the NL wildcard race.
Well, there was much more, but that’s all I care about for today. If you want me to do recaps on other sports/teams, let me know. I may do something about it, I may do nothing about it. It all depends on how much I hate your favorite team/player/sport.
I was hoping to get out of thinking tonight after a long day and just do my Night Cap but Last Call was hosted at our blog and it looks like Daddy is coming home to a trashed house. You bastards put the cat in the microwave? Well I did have an idea of something to post so I might prematurely run with it but it seems like I prematurely do everything these days. Ask your mother. BOOSH!
So, the big talk of the preseason of the NFL is always a trendy topic to discuss. I can see why. It has valid arguments for each side. I’d like to take a quick look at it and see which would be the more beneficial to the NFL. God knows that mein fuhrer Goodell will not stray from his original thinking because if he second guesses himself once, well then the Axis loses.
Well crikey, Brett Favre, the annointed one, made his triumphant return to football last night. What’s that you say, he’s played in the othr preseason games, well it doesn’t matter. He played the whole first half last night. I’m not really on the whole hating Favre bandwagon, but that’s not to say that if the Vikings plane crashed and everybody survived but him, that it would have any negative emotional impact on me. I just wish he would stay retired for once. With a little luck Peyton is going to break all his records, but Interceptions anyways so why keep padding your stats.
Favre finished 13-18 for 142 yards with one TD. Nothing spectacular, but pretty solid for a guy about to turn 40 and in only one half. But I don’t see how a QB can’t have good game when you hand off to Adrian “Purple Jesus” Peterson. The guy had 11 carries for 117yds and 1TD, including a 75yd rumble down the field for TD on the first play of the game.
But the game was not without controversy though. continue
Again the world of sports sometimes blows my mind.
MLB: The Toronto Blue Jays beat the Texas Rangers 18-12 on a 7 run 9th inning. The hero of the night was Jays DH Adam Lind. He went 3-5 with 8 RBI and one Grand Slam.
As everybody knows, the Dodgers continued the bizaare hey let’s make a trade after the trade deadline that only happens in MLB. Sure they picked up Jim Thome, but in a odd circumstance they picked up pitcher Jon Garland. Garland plays for the Arizona Diamondbacks, who were playing the Dodgers. They announced the trade during the game, so he literally had to leave the one dugout and go to the other. What the hell.
NHL: The NHLPA fired their Director Paul Kelly. He was essentially fired for being too open with the media. The last guy was pushed out essentially because he didn’t give enough to the media.
NFL: BRETT FAVRE! BREEETT FARVE! BRIT FARR! He’s back. He played the whole first half and played pretty well. I could play well handing off to Purple Jesus. You can’t stop Purple Jesus, No One Denies This! Well at least the Texans couldn’t, he busted off a 75 yard run for TD on the first play of the day.
Today it’s time to sit down with The Gally Blog’s latest interviewee, Jared Allen’s Mullet. What’s that you say? A mullet, how the hell are we supposed to interview a mullet? Have you seen that thing? It’s not nearly as hard as it sounds. That thing has a mind and life of it’s own. I caution you. The thing gets a little wierd and out of hand when Jared shows up.
Gally: Well good afternoon Jared Allen’s Mullet. It’s nice to have you here. JAM: It’s nice to be here. Wait what did you call me? Gally: Jared Allen’s Mullet. JAM: Why the hell would you call me that? Gally: Well that’s your name isn’t it. continue
Coaching
Mike McCarthy has something to prove in 2009. A year after drawing considerable “Coach of the Year” attention for his 13-3 season and a trip to the NFC Championship game, McCarthy led his team to a disappointing 6-10 finish, where they lost an astounding 7 games by 4 points or less. While one could attribute that staggering statistic to bad luck, the devil on my shoulder tends to think that it is more indicative of an inability to “nut up“ when it counts. Much of this can be put on the Coach’s shoulders, as suspect late game play-calling can certainly be pointed out. McCarthy did deal with a brutal array of injuries to his 20th ranked defense, but still decided to make wide sweeping changes, bringing in 3-4 guru Dom Capers to install the system and hopefully give the Green and Gold a nice new look on that side of the ball. Capers has had great success with his 3-4 defense, but will need to be on his game right from the get-go, as the Packers will only go as far as their defense lets them.
Offense
Statistically in 2008, Aaron Rodgers made good strides in his first attempt to make the loyal Cheeseheads move on from #4. He ranked sixth in league in QB Rating with a solid 93.8, eclipsed the 4000 yard mark and tossed 28 touchdown passes in his first year as starter. However his inability to find his inner Favre and create magic late in the fourth quarter was tough to ignore, as the Pack dropped too many close games. Greg Jennings is young and dynamic and is a touchdown machine, bringing in 21 on the outside in the past two years. Averaging 16.2 yards a catch, Jennings is a homerun threat that defenses need to apply double teams to more and more. This gives the dependable Donald Driver room to operate on the opposite side of the field, whose crisp route running and solid hands still make younger defensive backs look silly. After a superb coming out party in 2007, Ryan Grant looked too predictable last year, and struggled throughout the season. While he did deal with a hamstring injury all season long, a supposedly new and improved Grant will need to come out strong right away in 2009 for the injury excuse to validate itself. If not, he becomes one of countless other backs who had short term success before being shut down by more aware and prepared defenses. continue
Hello Gallybloggers. My name is Logic. I’ll be the one administering your consensual mind pain this evening.
Think about it. The NFL is exactly like the show that everyone who watches the NFL hates. I happen to love Entourage, (suck it Ufford) and am very upset that my free demo of premium cable has ended in the middle of a season (it’s hard out here for a G). But 9 times out 10 there is someone hating on Entourage and I realized that today. I was at work (no, real work) when I heard some old jew-broad describe Entourage:
“It’s a show about that guy from Walk to Remember who brings his goombas with him to Hollywood. You know, goombas, like Italians.”
After hearing that, I almost began hating one of my favorite shows. But seriously, the NFL is just like it. Listen up and let me school you for a second.
1. NOTHING EVER HAPPENS: After 6 seasons, Vince is still rich, Ari is a prick, Turtle does nothing and Drama is desperate. After 6 seasons Favre is still playing, the Lions are still losing, Philadelphia is still douchey and T.O. is trying desperately to cause drama.
2. When you describe it, it’s gay: “See honey, the idea is for those 11 men to try to pin that 1 man down as fast as they can before he runs away”. Tell me that isn’t the beginning to Cowboys Butts Drive Me Nuts 4?
3. When it comes down to it, 1 jerk is really in charge: Mark Wahlberg = Roger Goodell. Say hello to your mother for me. Yeah it’s Hulu, go screw Canada.
4. (the obvious) All of the douche bags- If you try to tell me a guy that changes his name to Hispanic nonsense is worse than a guy who collects graffiti sneakers I’ll go on a knife crazy rampage.
5. The Long Island Guys are the worst- I’m from LI New York, and so is “E” from Entourage. So is: Vinny Testaverde, Boomer Esiason, D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Amos Zereoue, Rich Ohrnberger and Todd Sauerbrun. Worst group ever. Hey, at least we got Billy Joel. Wait. He’s not cool anymore either? Dammit.
E with 2 of my College Room Mates (each at 5'9'' and 5'7'' respectively)
6. You almost root for them to fail- Who wants to see Vince do good? The best season was when Medellin bombs. The best season of the NFL was when the 16-0 Patriots lost the Super Bowl. (ok, I’m a Giants fan. When I drink on a Tuesday, I still say I’m celebrating the Super Bowl)
7. You start to hate people for being too awesome- I hate Tom Brady. And his $100 million. And his Super Model girlfriend. And his great looks. And his big arm. And his college degree from Michigain. Just like I hate Vince for sitting around all day reading words that another person wrote for an idea that another person had and he gets 30 tries to do it. Then after, he’ll take the PJ out to Cabo to go party with DJ Tiesto while dropping E-bombs and getting blowies from Jessica Alba.
8. When one person goes down, the world keeps turning- After Vince got shunned from Aquaman, they replaced him
with Jake Gyllenhaal. Michael Vick gets shunned from the NFL and Matt Ryan becomes a stud. It’s like karma for jocks rather than foppish dandies.
9. All the cool scenarios won’t happen in real life- The Super Bowl won’t be Buffalo v. Dallas or NYG v. Colts or Chicago v. Denver. It just won’t happen like that. Just like Aquaman, Medellin and the Joey Ramone story. Awesome ideas, where is the finished product?
10. Despite knowing it’s douchey and there’s better stuff on, I’ll still watch- Sure MMA is probably a cooler sport. Sure Mad Men is probably a better show. But don’t you just like old reliable where the characters are going to toast the night away at the end of the night where you cry yourself to sleep wishing you were them.
Everyone’s favorite jean wearing, gun slinging, attention whoring, retired then unretired then retired again quarterback Brett Favre has signed with the Minnesota Vikings. It’s actually not that big of shock if you looked for all the telltale signs. Mainly the one a few weeks ago where Favre said he was going to stay retired. Obvious lie.
We’ve made it through the brunt of the Favre unretirement storm, but we still have the whole rest of the season to look forward to. Where reporters, announcers, and analysts will undoubtedly speculate on a weekly basis about whether this will be Favre’s last season or not. Followed by everyone’s favorite off-season game of “Will he or won’t he.” Where we’ll be subjected to video footage of Favre throwing with the local Mississippi high schools on ESPN’s Favre Watch.
My guess is that Favre was jealous by all the press that Michael Vick’s return had garnered by the media. I mean, come on Vick was on 60 Minutes the other night. That must have eaten away at Favre knowing that someone else was stealing the media spotlight. It must have been at that very moment when Favre decided that he couldn’t just wait until next year to get some media loving. He had to do something decisive before becoming indecisive about his future. The only logical solution was to come back and play football.
That’s what most self-absorbed, attention seeking people do. It’s what they call in the field of psychology as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a pathology, people. He can’t help himself.
Now that the Favre retirement saga has come to a temporary resolution can we get on with the preseason, please. It’s shortly followed by the regular season which means it’s just about time for the start of my incessant gambling, drinking, and constant yelling at the television set that my wife has resistantly grown accustomed to between the months of August and February…Oh yeah and fuck Brett Favre for ruining my off-season.
