Posts Tagged ‘Celtics’
Author: PJDiaries Published: June 11th, 2010
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. Today’s edition has been crafted by PJD, which means that it’s full of self important bullshit and self congratulatory Nebraska masturbation. That’s how we (I) roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
First, some people seem to be a little upset about Nebraska (still allegedly) joining the Big 10. While an official announcement of the move is expected today, all I can say is “You mad”. You don’t like getting fisted, don’t come to a gang bang with a number 2 pencil. Just sayin’. On to the recaps.
- DEEERRRRPP!!!
NBA: That mildly looking retarded fellow in the front of that picture being draped by Gary Coleman’s son is Glen “Big Baby” Davis. I hope he dies in a vat of lard. However, he played quite the game of an idiot savant Thursday night as his 18 points (nine in the fourth quarter) helped the Boston Celtics even the NBA Finals series with the Lakers at 2-2. Also, it appears that things started getting pretty chippy between the two teams with some awesome fouls being made throughout the game, and I think it was Farmar who almost lost his head. YES. AWESOME. I hope the rest of the series is this violent.
NCAA Football: Oh boy. College football has turned out to be spectacular in June. With the flurry of rumor this week about Nebraska all but being the newest member of the Big 110 (that was originally a typo, but I decide to keep it), fellow Big XII North school and notable worst fans in the entire country, Colorado Buffaloes, officially announced their removal from the Big XII to become the newest member of the Pac10. Cool! So now you’ll become like Baylor in this new conference. What a terrible school. Also, I noticed my pants getting aroused last afternoon and realized it was because USC got popped straight in the toofs by the NCAA because they’re cheaters and bad people. On top of losing scholarships and other self imposed sanctions to other school sports, USC also lost one of their recent Championships (WOO!) and can’t go bowling for two straight years (BOOYA!). Couldn’t happen to a better school. Luckily, USC fans are notoriously blasé about their team, so I’m sure no one there has even noticed yet.
MLB: There were a couple of good baseball games out last night, if you’re into that type of boring shit. Someone, the horrible team in the Oriels squeaked out a winrar against the Yankees, 4-3. The shitastic Cleveland team beat the Red Sox 8-7 as well. Even the lowly Royals beat my hometown Twins 9-8 in quite the nail biter. I’d be lying to you if I said I watched ANY of those games though. LOL! Also, this doesn’t have much to do with anything, but I saw that the new Marlins stadium that they’re building is going to have an aquarium as the backstop behind home plate, full of live fish and everything. WHAT! THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME. Good for you, forgettable Florida team.
NFL: Benetration has admitted that his actions which have led to, oh, a couple of sexual allegations were immature. /wanking motion followed by a back hand.
Obligatory sexy time: (more…)
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Benetration, Celtics, Lakers, Minnesota Twins, Morning After Pill, Nebraska Cornhuskers, New York Yankees, PJD, Sexy Time, USC
Category Morning After Pill |
Author: berstreet Published: October 28th, 2009
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous day’s sporting events. Some teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring…and pure laziness. Or because gimp will start having flashbacks of some of his bad trips and end up convulsing on the floor in fetal position.
It’s me again! What better way to kick off your morning, than a healthy dose of severe personality problems? Let’s get this rollin’…
NBA: So two things that were awesome happened yesterday for the season tip-off. #1 being (of course) my Celts rollin’ over the dynamic LBJ-Shaq Attack duo in the most talked about opener. I call them my Celts, because I love KG with all of my heart. If he needed a kidney, and I was sober for like.. at least a day…I would totally give it to him. I would also consider being his vessel for bringing the next great KG into the world. I don’t care if that’s creepy. Shut up. Anyway, he made a great comeback after being forced to sit the last 25 games of the previous season with a knee injury. He put up the double-double with 13 points & 10 rebounds. Oh! and! Paul Pierce was the Celts’ leading scorer with 23 points, and 11 rebounds for the double-double. Obviously LBJ was the Cavs’ leading scorer with 38 points. Do I care? NOPE. They got KTFO! Okay. So #2 comes in the form of the greatest headline ever: Lakers Launch Title Defense With Win Over Clippers. Maybe I’m just stating the obvious here, but shouldn’t we expect the Lakers to beat the Clippers? How depressing is that for the Clippers as a non-home-opener-kind-of-home-opener? I mean…they’re still at their arena, except 97% of the people in attendance are there to see the Lakers. I’m pretty sure even when the Lakers aren’t playing there, 97% of the people in attendance are still there to see the Lakers. It’s kind of like being the “grenade” of a pair of girl friends.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: AIDS, Andre Agassi, awesomeness, Basketball, Celtics, Fantasy Football, Green Bay Packers, hockey, It\’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Lakers, Lambeau Field, LeBron James, Minnesota Vikings, premature ejaculation, Shaq, The Clippers, World Series
Category Morning After Pill |
Author: berstreet Published: October 19th, 2009
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the goings on in the sporting world. Certain teams and sports are left out due to either lack of caring or an extreme hangover. Maybe a weak hangover also, we’re kind of soft like that.
Lucky for you, you get my version of the MAP again! I know you couldn’t wait. But I’m at work, so let’s get this show on the road, shall we?
NFL: The Giants got destroyed by the Saints. Who saw that one coming?! I know Logic didn’t. Neither did I, or I would’ve started Reggie Bush in my fantasy league. The Titans…I mean, is someone going to contract them? Can teams get contracted in the NFL like they can the MLB? 59-0 is super embarrassing. They should probably just forfeit the season and hope for better luck/coaching/players/management/a new rabbit’s foot next year. The Cards did a pretty good job against a skeletal Seattle team. Big ups to my boy Fitz for getting me a good chunk of points 2 weeks in a row. Then we have my beloved Vikings who did not win that game – The Ravens BLEW IT. I seriously laughed out loud at an ESPN.com headline I saw yesterday that said, “Favre’s Late Heroics End Ravens Rally.” Whatever simpleton wrote that should be fired. Or buy new eyes. Or something. I was at the game, and the 1st quarter was awesome; it was fun, it was electric. Then the rest of the game happened. My favorite parts were when B’more just kind of sauntered into the endzone for a couple easy TDs. Our only saving grace, apparently, is how loud we were booing and screaming. So loud, in fact, that my friend told me the announcers on TV were annoyed with us. Whatev…the Ravens choked, and we’re 6-0. I don’t care about the rest of the games. Sorry.
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: abortion, Angels, Baltimore Ravens, Bradford, Brett Favre, Celtics, college football, Dodgers, Florida Gators, good luck, Kevin Garnett, Lakers, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, NFL, OSU, Phillies, plan b, Purdue, Timberwolves, Vikings, Yankees
Category Uncategorized |
