The Big XII had a bit of a renaissance in 2009. Old powers rose again in Nebraska, rivalries were renewed in the South, and Colorado was reminded of their place by being a horrible, horrible football team. Just like they should be. In the offseason, the romantic winds of change blew up the conference’s skirt as it was looking to establish itself as perhaps the second most relevant NCAA football conference outside of the SEC. That is, until Missouri started flirting with the Big 10, Colorado ran to the Pac10, Nebraska ended up being the school to move to the Big 10, Texas threatened to leave for the west as well, and Texas A&M almost headed to SEC country. When all was said and done, the Big XII was left weak, with doubts about it’s future, and a clear center of power in Austin, Texas.
But this isn’t the place to discuss conference realignment. There is some real, genuine, college football that is starting up soon. There are crowds in Kansas that are prepping to wave their arms like a cornfield. There are people in Lubbuck who are curious about their new coach. There are fans in Norman looking forward to a rebirth of their team. And fans all across the Big XII are prepping for one last swan song, one final send off for Colorado and Nebraska before the Big XII as we know it dissolves. Will there be blood? Oh yeah. Buckets of it enough to satisfy a Twilight Mom. So let’s get this college football season started, with a Big XII preview.
Hello, new Big 10 family. It is quite enjoyable to be joining your ranks of academic excellence and storied NCAA sporting tradition. The Nebraska Cornhuskers and the entire University of Nebraska-Lincoln is excited to enter your conference on good terms and amiable handshakes. You have no idea what it’s like to go from a conference where other lesser schools and teams (Missouri, Kansas, etc.) cupped one larger university’s balls (Texas) while they performed yearly fellatio. Hey, I love a good cupping as much as the next guy, but it got a bit out of control. It doesn’t appear to be this way in the Big 10, which we respect and appreciate each other over fine brandy and tightly rolled cigars. People genuinely seem to get along. Except of course with Iowa. Fucking Iowa.
As a new school in the conference which brings a large fan base though, there may be some confusion as to who is who and how they match up with our previous opponents. So as a friendly introduction, The Gally Blog’s resident Nebraska fan that lives in Big 10 country will gladly assist in walking former Big 12 fans into the new Big 10, and draw similarities where similarities are due. Disagree? Add your take in the comments. But without further ado, let me bridge Nebraska fans from one conference to the next …
Little known fact; although I have lived in Minnesota for over 15 years, I have never lived in Nebraska. Regardless, I have strong family ties and an undeniably rooting interest in the Nebraska, and specifically the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Please, hold the fat Midwestern girl jokes until the end at least. Also, you would be wrong. Anyway, for the past several springs now my family has made it tradition to visit the lovely university campus in Lincoln every spring to attend the annual Red-White Spring Game. For those unfamiliar with the college football landscape, you suck, and a spring game is where a college football team plays their final spring practice in front of fans. Yes, it’s practice, and yes, Nebraska is awesome at fan attendance at spring games as well. They had 77,000+ attend the game, paying $10 a ticket to do so. Only Alabama has had a larger spring game attendance thus far (it was free, they just won a championship, and it’s Alabama) and the next closest Big XII team in spring game attendance was Texas with 44,000. Think it’s stupid? Football recruits actually love seeing a game day atmosphere in April. BOOSH! HUSKERS WIN!
We will not be live blogging girls, but in fact NCAA Football. Maybe the girls as well.
It’s Saturday, so that means it’s time for College Football Live Blogging action. Even if you don’t like football, feel free to come in and talk shit about stuff. To access the live blog, look up to the top of the screen and click that button that says live blog, or you could click this. If either of those seem like too much work, leave snide remarks in the comments and I’ll get back to you.
Well, apparently there’s some confusion as to today’s live blog action. It is going on, I just didn’t put it on the front page. Click the button above that says Live Blogs, or click this.
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous day’s sporting events. Some teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring…and pure laziness. Baseball is over, right? Thank god.
Obligatory shout out to Logic and the New York Yankees time. Sigh.
The baseball season came to anticlimactic end the other night as the Assholes of New York were able to deliver the coup de grace to the Assholes of Philadelphia. And one person here at the Gally Blog couldn’t be any happier. Of course I’m speaking of Baby Logic.
Sup you fuckin' fucks?
No that’s not the smell of dirty diaper, that’s the smell of victory – 0r the New York subway system…
College Football
Last night’s slate of games included Eastern Michigan at Northern Illinois, Miami of Ohio at Temple, and Virginia Tech at East Carolina. So in all actuality it was like no college football really took place last night. But in case you are curious about the scores or you need to be prepared in case a giant Italian bookie by the name of Stevie comes looking for you they are as follows:
Miami (OH) 32 Temple 34 – Temple brings their record to 7-2, proving that the Big East’s bottom feeder is king of the castle in the MAC.
Eastern Michigan 6 Northern Illinois 50 – Eastern Michigan at 0-9 has to be the worst team in college football right now. Close on their heels? Western Kentucky, New Mexico and Rice at 0-8. That’s a whole lotta suck right there.
Virginia Tech 16 East Carolina 3 – Due to Lou Holtz announcing this game I couldn’t watch strictly out of principle. If I wanted to here dementia riddled ramblings for 3 hours I would go visit one my grandparents down at the nursing home.
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous day’s sporting events. Some teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring. Like curling…Especially curling.
Wake up call (ie Music Interlude)
MLB
I do not actually love the Yankees, but I do heart the boobies.
New York assholes, ie Logic, rejoice. Your New York Yankees tied up the World Series last night at one game a piece. No, I did not watch the game, but from what I can gather they won 3-1. At least that’s what Yahoo! Sports is telling me. I imagine this is great for fans of Yankees, but terrible for those of us who enjoy watching Fox’s Animation Domination on Sunday nights. Stupid playoffs. I guess the silver lining in all of this is that baseball is almost over. Soon it will hibernate and crawl back into the dark recesses of our minds. Kind of like an illegitimate child.
Sleep easy Baby Logic, for your Yankees live to fight another day.
NCAAF
Virginia Tech continues to ride on the wave of inconsistency as they lost to UNC last night 20-17 on a last second field goal. The loss, more than likely, puts the Hokies out of contention for the ACC Coastal title. It’s also worth noting that the loss puts Georgia Tech in a 3-way tie for first in the ACC Coastal, along with Duke and Virginia. Yes Duke and Virginia. Two teams that lost to FCS schools at the beginning of the season.
Duke is tied for first in something other than basketball and good grades with a 4-3 overall record, and a 2-1 divisional record. Virginia is even more laughable. The Cavaliers are currently 2-1 in the ACC, but have a whopping 3-4 overall record. Granted the ship will right itself and both of the aforementioned teams will go back to their bottom feeding ways. Until then the ACC will continue to look bad. Like real bad. Like that time in high school when you brought your cousin to prom. That kind of bad. Yowsers.
Texas Tech head coach, Mike Leach, is obviously a tad upset. His team did, in fact, lose to Texas A & M last weekend 52-30. A game they were favored to win, but unfortunately they could not seal the deal. Thus, tacking on another loss for the season as well as sinking my 5 team parlay. Dicks.
Sure you can blame the loss on poor coaching and maybe some lack of preparation, but that would be such a total cop out. The real culprit here is the players’ fat little girlfriends. Obviously, right?
That whole ego stroking, according to Leach, just went to the players’ heads. [insert dick joke here]
Speaking as someone who used to go (huge emphasis on the “used to” part) hoggin’ on a regular basis, I can say that fat little girlfriends are great at ego stroking. Then again they have to be…you know, because they’re fat.
