Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Friday May 18th 2012

Posts Tagged ‘college football’

Alabama Vs. Virginia Tech Live Blog

In honor of it being the weekend and me having nothing to do but drink and watch college football, we here at the Gally Blog will be liveblogging the game. Hope you enjoy.

Click Here For Exciting Live Blog Action.
Or, click this. Same thing, different appearance.
Alabama vs. Virginia Tech

Click on either of those to view the Live Blog/mostly play by play recap of the game.

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The Morning After

Baseball
Uh…Baseball is still going on? Umm…Hey look a blue football field!

boisestatefield

College Football
College football made it’s triumphant return last night. And by triumphant I mean slightly anticlimatic…Except for…Well I’ll get to that… 

The early game on ESPN saw Steve Spurrier’s *cough* Douche *cough* South Carolina Gamecocks snickers take on the Wolf Pack of N.C. State. Saying this game was boring would be putting it mildly. I’ve seen late term abortions with more appeal…Damn I’ve been talking with Logic too much lately. Regardless, the Cocks of Game took this one 7-3.

Utah and Utah State battled for the Mormons’ enjoyment last night, with Utah winning 35-17. It’s almost like back in the days of the Roman Coliseum. But instead of Romans it’s Mormons. And instead of fights to the death or being mauled by a lion, it’s just football.

The late game on ESPN saw Oregon taking on Boise State. You might remember Boise State as a potential BCS buster over the last few seasons, as well as having one of the most hideous football fields in America. Blue turf? Really? I guess it actually gives people a reason to be interested in Idaho, albeit just for the color of their turf. Hey Idaho is also known for having potatoes! Yes makes wanking off motion, and I am known for not giving a shit. Boise State controlled this game for 4 quarters and took the win with a 19-8 finish.

Boise State’s To Do list for the next week should look like, 1) Work on field goals, because kicker, Kyle Brotzman,  went 1/3 last night missing a 29 yarder, and 2) Hold on to the football. They lost 3 fumbles and it almost was more. 

Oregon’s To Do list should look something like this, 1-5) Get new uniforms (underlined and circled a bunch of times). That whole, tribal looking duck wings on the shoulders are as cool looking as chicks wearing Ugg boots in the summer time.

 Am I forgetting anything else? Hmmm….Oh yeah this happened too.

Somebody is gonna to get suspended…Or signed by the Bengals….or maybe both. Hmmm..,

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Happy College Footballmas

You feel that? The excitement! That’s because tonight is the beginning of the college football season. I have to work, so I don’t get to watch it. But you do. So head on over to EDSBS, for a good old fashioned live blog. They know their football and they’re entertaining so it should be a good time. 

Happy College Footballmas!

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The University of Wisconsin is working to stop your binge drinking.

Nice straw...Douche.
Nice straw…Douche.

College football and beer go hand and hand, much like roofies and fraternity parties. However the University of Wisconsin is looking to slowly sever the sacred bond of college football and alcohol that has brought us such great classics as binge drinking, the DUI, and my personal favorite lewd & lascivious acts (ie public urination).  Okay. Maybe they’re not, but they are doing away with radio beer advertisements.

The university has ended longstanding sponsorship agreements with MillerCoors and Anheuser-Busch InBev for advertising during Badgers sports broadcasts. The deals, which brought the university about $425,000 per year, were not renewed after a campus committee recommended doing away with them as part of its fight against binge drinking.

I don’t really see what the big deal is. Who really listens to football games on the radio, anyway? The advent of satellite makes it easy to catch just about any game. Which comes in handy for when I want to watch the Fighting Penguins of Youngstown State, but I digress.

Besides listening to football on the radio doesn’t do shit to help you stay awake. Especially when faced with a scenario, ie a booty call, where you have to leave in the middle of the game.

After a long day of tailgating, hearing the rest of the game on the radio will do next to nothing to keep you awake.. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told…In the police report.

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