Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Saturday November 26th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘Comedy’

Abortions For Some, Tiny American Flags For Others

Guess which one her mom and dad got.

It’s summertime, which can mean only one thing: everyone gets laid.  Yes, even you Gally.

But occasionally something goes wrong.  The condom breaks.  You don’t like the feel of wearing one of those things.  She’s Catholic, but still wants cock tonight.  The next thing you know, you’re saddled with the worst kind of STD known to man: a kid.  Or are you?  Today, I’m here to help you figure out the best way to avoid wasting up to 30 years of your life not getting laid, losing sleep, and bailing the little ingrate out before they can take care of themselves. (more…)

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Logic’s Comedy Debut

Last night our very own Logic performed stand-up comedy at an open mic night at Governor’s Comedy Club in Levittown, New York, which is on Long Island for those of us not familiar with New York City. It sounds cooler to just say New York city. I have obtained exclusive rights from Logic himself to write a review of the proceedings. Here is the video again of him doing his thing for your convenience. Keep in mind this is only his 7th time doing a routine in front of people. I bet Larry the Cable guy was just making mouth fart and armpit noises at that point in his career… and he’s still doing it now! Heyoooo! Make sure to give him your feedback before the allegations of statutory rape catch up with him. My review below the video.

Overall the performance was funny and offensive (the trait I value most in comedy.) You can tell he was a little nervous, but I don’t see you doing any better, jerk. The O’doul’s beer joke was hilarious and the crowd had a cool reaction to it. I don’t want to hear any knocks on Logic *refuses to use his real name* looking at his notes. Many comics do that when they are working out material. I heard it in an interview or documentary one time. The single biggest point of praise I can give Logic is the crowd reacted. They responded with gasps and laughs. There was a cackler in the crowd too. Hey, cackle much? I don’t really have a reason to lie because I don’t even know Logic in real life. I’m not even comfortable using his real name. My rating would be 7 out of 10 with upside potential. Let Logic hear from you in the comment section. You better kiss up now before he’s too cool for your crap.

Disclaimer: Logic did not pay me to write this.

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Ron Artest is Something

Ron Artest: Gay Porn Star?
Actual Ron’s caption for this picture that he posted via Twitpic

I AM NOT FINISH L.A. THIS IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF MY WORK. I MUST GET STRONGER.

So what do we know about this? Well not a lot. It’s clear Ron’s CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN, and his grammar sounds a little like he’s trying to speak Russian in French. Beyond that it’s only assumptions. Like that it looks like he’s near ready to pass out from holding his breath while flexing for the photo, only the first couple takes didn’t work and he forgot to breathe in between.
Or possibly this is a frame from the upcoming documentary Ron and Kobe: An Unrequited Love
Maybe he’s just sad because he lost his puppy.
If I had to put money on it though, I’d say it’s because his audition for ESPN: Ghetto didn’t go as well as he planned.

Whatever happens, I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve been interested in a NBA season starting .

Well anyways, I’m going to leave it up to Real_Ron_Artest and the guys at Style Points to figure the definitive answer out. They’re much better at this type of thing then I am.

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Kobe and Ron Artest are Together.

So yesterday the Lakers and Rockets of the NBA essentially traded each other for small forwards, Trevor Ariza for Ron Artest. Yes the same Artest that started the brawl in Detroit so many years ago. The same Artest that seemed like he wanted to fight Kobe in the playoffs. The same Artest that is crazy and can fly off the handle on a whim.

But we’re forgetting something. The comedy gold that can come out of this, for at least an entire year. Like this.

Seriousness after the jump

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Holy Fuck, A Fucking Puppy

Have you ever thought that your city get’s crazy some times, or that perhaps it’s too banal? Well welcome to Halifax Nova Scotia, it’s in Canada. This video combines fact with absurdity. The video also contains references to puppies, Goldeneye, Panda Sex, the A-Team, Catholics, bootlegging and well, I suppose the devil. To quote Big Daddy Drew, ” I’ve got two words: fuck and yes.”
Well here’s a drink, to the video and if you don’t like it, fuck you and here’s to me!

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Samir's 30 days

Some friends of a friend made this video and it’s actually pretty funny. It does slow down a bit in the later stages, but the ending is good. It is also apparently the Winner of the 2009 Mosquers Best Comedy Award.

The main idea of the story is that a clueless brown guy is given 30 days by his parents to find a woman, or they are going to arrange a marriage for him. Enjoy.

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Suicide Pact

Picnicface released a new video last month, and in my general ineptitude I missed it. They are the guys behind the Powerthirst series, and others.
The video shows the trials and tribulations of two best friends who decide to kill themselves together. Things don’t go as planned, hijinks ensue.
It comes with such insightful information as, “Be careful, you’ll raise your blood pressure, and that could kill you”

Who do you think bought the poison?

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Sage Advice

You don’t pull down 8 figures a year without having it together. I’m not going to spoil this one for you guys.
[vodpod id=Groupvideo.2615415&w=425&h=350&fv=key%3Df7112b01fb]

more about "Sage Advice

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Perkele!

Lasse Gjertsen explains the differences of the word Fuck in various Scandinavian languages.

In Finland, and my heart, they say Perkele! So Fjandinn you eh!

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