Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday February 9th 2012

Posts Tagged ‘ESPN Writers are Over Paid Logics’

Fantasy Football Preview (Part 2 of 3)

This is what happens when you Google Image search "Fantasy Football"

No seriously. The picture of Vanessa Hudgens was a joke that I thought of. I didn’t know what to have as a banner picture and now you get this smoking hot chick with her vagina labeled as an “End Zone”. Which is totally weird. I’d end all over her face or those giant T’s.

Okay, back to what you ACTUALLY care about. Fantasy Football. We started out with a decorum post. You should now know how to act in a fantasy league with your friends so you’re not embarrassed. I’d rather make you cool than a winner. When you’re cool…you always win. One last piece of advice…it’s highly important

If we are discussing fantasy football and I ask you a question like: “Who do you think will be better, Peyton Manning or Drew Brees?” and you reply with “I don’t know man. It all depends on the year they have.” I will drag your first born into a lake. Do you hear me, Mike from work? You’re f-cking pushing it, man. Of course we will see when the GD year is over!

Now that that is off my chest, next up on the agenda is seeing where players rank. This is highly important when picking a team, says Erik Kuselias. For the record, these are my rankings and predictions. I’m not going to explain every ranking but if you want anything in particular explained, please express yourself in the comment section. If not, kindly go get butt sexed by a bear.

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The New Yankee Stadium Just Set It's Single Season HR Record!

1024x768_yankee_stadium
The WORST Seat in the House

Well no shit. It’s brand new r-tard. But apparently no one told anyone anything in Bristol fucking Connecticut. Those bunch of snot nosed virgins that work for ESPN think that since it’s still named “Yankee Stadium” and has the same dimensions it’s the same ball park and that the single season record can still be broken. WRONG. Gally was a little rattled by this and developed slight tourrettes syndrome after his blurb about it earlier, so I had to take over to skullfuck someone. Not to mention I am the blog’s New Yawker which basically means I’m an expert on this topic. I’m actually way more qualified than all the faggot Sawx fans from ESPN. I didn’t think it was possible for “a nonpartisan sports network” to give so much coverage to one team. But I digress, there are some kittens to punch.

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