The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous day’s sporting events. Some teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring…and pure laziness. Or because gimp will start having flashbacks of some of his bad trips and end up convulsing on the floor in fetal position.
It’s me again! What better way to kick off your morning, than a healthy dose of severe personality problems? Let’s get this rollin’…
NBA: So two things that were awesome happened yesterday for the season tip-off. #1 being (of course) my Celts rollin’ over the dynamic LBJ-Shaq Attack duo in the most talked about opener. I call them my Celts, because I love KG with all of my heart. If he needed a kidney, and I was sober for like.. at least a day…I would totally give it to him. I would also consider being his vessel for bringing the next great KG into the world. I don’t care if that’s creepy. Shut up. Anyway, he made a great comeback after being forced to sit the last 25 games of the previous season with a knee injury. He put up the double-double with 13 points & 10 rebounds. Oh! and! Paul Pierce was the Celts’ leading scorer with 23 points, and 11 rebounds for the double-double. Obviously LBJ was the Cavs’ leading scorer with 38 points. Do I care? NOPE. They got KTFO! Okay. So #2 comes in the form of the greatest headline ever: Lakers Launch Title Defense With Win Over Clippers. Maybe I’m just stating the obvious here, but shouldn’t we expect the Lakers to beat the Clippers? How depressing is that for the Clippers as a non-home-opener-kind-of-home-opener? I mean…they’re still at their arena, except 97% of the people in attendance are there to see the Lakers. I’m pretty sure even when the Lakers aren’t playing there, 97% of the people in attendance are still there to see the Lakers. It’s kind of like being the “grenade” of a pair of girl friends.
Like always, my fantasy league that is for money has to get hit by an unstoppable force. (See: Week 1 Drew Brees or Week 4 Rashard Mendenhall), this week it was Michael Turner for 3 TDs, not to mention a Calvin Johnson injury and an Aaron Rodgers BYE. But here is the Sports Bloggers Fantasy Breakdown of Week 5. I decided to get all in-depth on your monkey asses because we’re almost a 1/3 of the season in.
First thing to pop into our heads when we hear the phrase "Fantasy Football."
So the first annual Gally Blog Blogger Fantasy Football happened yesterday. 9/12 of the players managed to show up, while the other three got auto drafted. Logic was one of those three as he was on a plane, so we’ll forgive him even though he got a decent team out of it. It was a serpentine draft, and even though I could list the whole thing in order we’re we’re going to just list it team by team so you can mock each team. Or praise it. Or not even read this article. Whatever.
Logic: Hey Gallions. Sorry I missed the draft. I had a plane at 4PM, Chicago time, and then didn’t get home until about 8:30PM Eastern. I was really pissed that I missed the draft and even madder that I had pick #2 and couldn’t map out a strategy for it. All my other drafts have been at the back end. All my dates are like that too. So I guess I’ll give a little analysis on each guy’s team and give their best picks, worst picks and any steals that they grabbed.
Monday Morning Punter-Unmotivated Leather:
1. (1) Adrian Peterson
2. (24) Tom Brady
3. (25) Ronnie Brown
4. (48) T.J. Houshmandzadeh
5. (49) Antonio Gates
6. (72) Larry Johnson
7. (73) Donnie Avery
8. (96) Ray Rice
9. (97) Lee Evans
10. (120) Nate Washington
11. (121) James Davis
12. (144) Devery Henderson
13. (145) Miles Austin
14. (168) John Kasay
15. (169) New England
Logic: Punter grabbed the first pick and obviously had to go with Adrian Peterson. I always hated that pressure. Like a few years ago when LaDanian Tomlinson was in his prime, you just had to pick him. I don’t like that because then he gets hurt and it either sucks for you or he does amazing and you don’t pick him and then people say you suck at life. Punter went with the former and you can’t bash him for that. I think his best pick was waiting until the 15th round to take New England’s defense. I’m sure I would have taken the Giants defense in the 8th round given that I was there and he waited that long to grab a defense that is going to be just as solid even though they lost Richard Seymour. I think Ronnie Brown is going to hurt his team a little bit. If you take away his 4 TD game against New England it almost halves his total on the season. Not to mention he isn’t much of a pass catcher but I’m looking and the only pick in the 3rd round that I would’ve grabbed over him was either Philip Rivers of Thomas Jones. Now that I’m looking at the draft results, seeing Tom Brady go in the last pick of the 2nd round seems like that is one of the most insane things I’ve seen in a while.
Gally: A very good selection. Don’t take this the wrong way Punter, but I hope Brady’s other knee gets mangled this year. I’d be hesitant to take a Ram for a WR, but I guess that shows some balls. Or some pre-draft paint huffing.
So as you all know, or perhaps didn’t know, The Gally Blog is hosting a Sports Blogger Fantasy Football Competition. As it happened to work out, it’s the three of us from here, three from The Phoenix Pub, three members of KSK, and three guys from assorted places.
Here is everybody who is participating, and their team names. Feel free to mock or praise in the comments. gally: Plax’s Shiv Advisor gimp: Ghost of Sean Taylor logic: Donte’s DD MMP w/ Brandon: Unmotivated Leather Xmas Ape: Sky Baklava Flubby: Tequila Mockingbirds Andrew Bucholtz: Cameron’s Wake James Brown: The Godfathers Rob from WI: Favarro Must Die doktakra: Sac-Town Kings Adam: Shiancock Max: Vick’s Dead Eagles
There are some creative names there, but it lacks the obscenity that I’m used to. I’m going to give Adam a nod for Best of Show, with a grade of A. Overall, as a group I give us a collective C. But hey, C’s get degrees.
LLWS
The Little League World Series came to an end as the USA took home the championship. /chants USA! USA! USA! The team from Chula Vista, California took home the title as they beat those damned dirty Asians of Taoyuan, Taiwan 6-3. This marks Chula Vista’s first championship. Yeah, I would tell you more about this game, but 1) I’m not a pedophile, who enjoys watching underaged boys in tight pants, and 2) I have way more important things to do with my weekend…Like watch the Purina Dog Challenge. That Chesapeake Bay Retriever was one fine bitch.
PGA
Heath Slocum was your winner this weekend at the Barclays. Beating out a rallying Tiger (god only knows how many prostitutes will die as a result), Ernie Els, and Steve Stricker. The major question here isn’t how the hell did Tiger miss that 10 foot birdie putt on 18, but rather who the fuck is Heath Slocum? Didn’t he used to play baseball?
NFL
Jay Cutler made a victorious return to Denver, as he lead the Bears to a 27-17 win. Broncos QB Kyle Orton came out of the game early after having what the team called “an upper extremity injury.” Because saying that your QB suffered a paper cut on his fingerdoesn’t sound nearly as cool.
Fantasy Football Shenanigans
Drafting Kyle Orton, your Defense, and a Kicker in the 5th round was one of the dumbest things I witnessed this weekend. Besides someone drafting LT with the 3rd overall pick in the draft. My head nearly exploded, and I think Logic died a little on the inside.
Last night had quite the collection of events in the sporting world.
NFL:
As most of you guys/girls know, last night was Michael Vick’s triumphant return to the NFL. He barely got booed, and performed quite well in his time on field. He completed four of four passes for 19 yards, and ran once for 1 yard. A new hope? I’ll say. That Donovan guy kind of sucks anyways.
The Dolphins of Miami played the Buccaneers of Tampa. It was an exciting game that was won by the Dolphins 10-6.(/dismissive wanking) New Buc’s quarterback, Byron Leftwich almost played well, as he threw 9-17 for 100 yards. The shining star of the show clearly was Rookie Buc’s Quarterback Josh Freeman. He threw 6-16 for 50 yards. All I want to know is, is will he be available for me to choose with my first pick in Fantasy Football.
The Bungles played the Rams last night as well. The Rams won the game 24-21 but the star of the game was Carson Palmer. He completed an amazing 83% of his passes as he finished with 1 TD, 1 INT and 102 yards. He was 5 of 6.
Others:
There was the usual slate of MLB games this weekend, but really who give’s a shit.
The Canadian Men’s Hockey Olympic team practiced in Calgary
The Champions League draw occured today. My boys, the Blues of Chelsea were drawn in the D group with FC Porto and two other teams that they will destroy. Porto won the Portuguese league last year, so they should provide a challenge. They also have a player that goes by the name of HULK. How can you not be a little intimidated by a guy who actually goes by the name Hulk?
Hello Blogfrica and random readers. We here at the Gally Blog consider ourselves something of a sporting website. We may not exactly be credentialed, but that doesn’t make us unqualified to pretend we are. The NFL season is nearly upon us and with that is Fantasy Football. So we here are going to combine all of that. We’re holding a Blogger Fantasy Football exhibition. Us here at the Gally Blog will be participating, as will members of the sports blogging community for ultimate bragging rights. There could be prizes as well, but I’m waiting to see if I can get it sponsored or not.
Alright so I gave who I love and who I hate in my last post. This is a little game that I invented. It’s called Not The Obvious and it goes like this. I broke down every team in the NFL and gave the best Fantasy Football value of a player that you won’t want to draft in the first few rounds. Some are more obvious than others and that is either simply because the team is on pace to be a grease fire or they have so many players that would go early.
For example, Kevin Smith is going to go quick because he is a RB. But he is still one of the lower half of RBs that I personally would take in the draft. So he might be high on your board, but he’s not on mine. Others like Donnie Avery might go quick as well because he is a #1 WR but I still think you can grab a guy like that in the 10th round. So here it goes.
I’m not going to lie, I love that Gally put up a Fantasy Page on our blog because this is my addiction. It’s all I have left to stay competitive. Yeah there’s beer league softball and running from the cops but that gets boring after a while. Ok, I might be the jockiest nerd that ever lived but for serious, I’m all about the fantasy sports. Especially when you turn on ESPN and it’s all Plaxico and Vick law troubles or Favre trying to decide if he wants to use the shampoo or conditioner first. Maybe that was Billy Madison? Eh whatever. Two retards that are way past their prime now…
For those of you following along at home or want to see if I actually live and die by my advice (unlike countless ESPN Fantasy Football writers), here is how my draft went with all the rules and regulations.
